A Chameleon Can Change His Colours
by Bakrua
Summary: Hermione Granger. A strong, powerful witch, and no insult can take her down. But.. is that true? Is she really as strong as everyone thinks? Will Draco be the one to discover this? Dramione smut/SH/Depression. M for later chapters. First fic, R&R!
1. Are you ashamed, yet?

**Hello guys, Kawi here. This'll be my first fanfiction.**

**I want to get a couple things clear before we start. I ask you not to judge me. Yes, this fanfic is going to be quite.. smutty. But it's also going to deal with a lot of problems, such as bullying, Self-harm, self-loathing. It'll deal with grief, and such. I aim to make this a hard-hitting fanfiction.**

_**I'm warning you now, if any of you dare start to flame about the fact I used Self-Harm here, I will be angry, **_**very ****_angry._**

**(Also, the fanfiction isn't really set in a book period, but they're all about 16. I did this because I just wanted a clear, blank year of Hogwarts to work with. And IDGAF If you don't like it.)**

_**I do not own , nor claim to own any characters used during this fanfiction. Everything here belongs to J.K Rowling. (Duh. Thats why its called **_**Fan-****_fiction.. )_**

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><p><em>Hermione.<em>

"What the hell are you looking at, Granger?" Came a harsh, cold hiss.

Whipping around, Hermione rested her eyes on the origin of the voice, frowning slightly. Brushing back her bushy, untamed mane of brown hair, she took the slightest of steps back.

"I asked you a question." He repeated, this time more firmly, his mouth curving into a sneer.

"I.. Ermm." She swallowed loudly, her voice dying in her throat.

He raised a single eyebrow at her.

"None of your buisness." She growled, grabbing her cat carrier than held her Half-Cat-Half-Kneazle, Crookshanks.

"Oh, on the contrary," He drawled slowly. "It is every part of my business."

Wanting very much to spit foul worlds in his direction, Hermione fought hard to hold her tongue. She could almost taste all the words she wanted to call him.

_He's not worth it._ She thought bitterly. "Let me past, Malfoy."

Hermione Granger was 16; a witch; and desperate to get away from the teenager in front of her at all costs.

The Hogwarts express had come to halt a few minutes ago, and while all the students desperately fought their way to clamber off the stuffy train, she had hung back, trying to coax Crookshanks back into his cage with a small treat. Harry and Ron had offered to stay and help, but she had politely declined their offer. Ron was only asking her to gain her approval, due to the fact they had argued earlier on how unhealthy _Berty-Bots Every Flavour Beans _were. She had taked some home to show her mother and father in delight, but they were less than pleased. After receiving a scolding for eating such '_Teeth-Damaging-Muck' _as her parents had described them to her as, she had mailed them back to Ron, asking him if he knew how much they were a danger to his oral health. He had ignored her letter, and she couldn't help but take some offence to it. And after bringing it up on the train, all hell broke loose. Harry had left them with an angry sigh, complaining that her and Ron arguing would be the death of him.

Harry had only offered because he, of all people, could read Hermione better than most. He could see just how tired she was.

Hermione had to admit, she hadn't had a good nights sleep in a while.

But Harry wasn't to keen on cats, and Hermione knew that all-to-well.

So, with a quick promise that she'd see them both inside, and to save her a seat, she had set to work trying to find Crookshanks.

It hadn't taken her long, she had to admit. Crookshanks couldn't help but be lured out by the delicious tempt of his favourite treat, and while he was greedily gulping down every morsel, she'd caught him by the waist and dropped him gently into his carrier.

And that's when the Slytherin turned up.

"I could." He sighed. "But, I could have a bit of fun."

"Malfoy, I don't have ti-.."

"How are those filthy Muggle parents of yours, Granger?"

_Ah._ She remembered those insults. From the past year, and the year before that, and the year before that.

"Fine." She spoke stiffly.

"Really?" He grinned, not a happy sort of grin, a cold, cutting-edge grin. It almost frightened her. "I don't see why you didn't just stay with them, Granger."

"Becuase I'm a witch-.."

"No, you're a filthy little Mudblood."

"Leave me alone!" She growled, loosing her temper, grabbing the handle of the cat carrier roughly, she slammed her way past the Slytherin, her heart sinking as she heard him follow her intently.

"I don't see why you're bothering to run away." He smirked. She could almost taste the venom in his voice. "I could follow your stench from anywhere. You reek of bad blood, you know that?"

She blinked back tears and she shoved her way off the train. Ignoring the look of alarm the driver gave her. Normally, she'd stop and tell him thank you, as she had done every-year. But this time, she was to distracted.

"Miss?" He spoke weakly.

She didn't answer him.

"Slow down, Mudblood!" Malfoy continued to taunt her.

"'Ey, now son." The driver had stopped Malfoy. "Thas' no way to speek' to a lady."

"Shut it." She heard the pure-blood retort, but she didn't turn around to watch the scene. She carried on, determined to avoid him at all costs.

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><p>Slamming her book down on the table, Hermione placed herself next to Harry, immediately wrenching open the first page, perhaps with to much force, as the book gave a feeble shiver, before falling apart.<p>

"Gah!" She spat, fumbling in her pocket for her wand, mumbling in a low, angry voice.

"'Mione?" Harry enquired weakly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." She stated simply, her voice hard, edged. "Just fine."

Harry pulled out his own wand, and with a small _"Reparo" _The book flew together once more.

"Thanks." She breathed. Opening the book, this time with more care.

"'at 'choo reed' in', thas' time, 'mione?" Ron asked her, his mouth full of food.

"Ronald, honestly. You should stop speaking with your mouth so full." She sighed.

He ignored her comment, diving straight for the front cover, blinking with confusion.

"_Dealing with stress_?" Harry asked, joining in as Ron and him peeked at the book.

"Just something from home." She lied. "Mum and Dad told me to read it.. 'cause of you know.. the.. erm.. exams."

"Oh!" Harry sighed, and Hermione breathed a sigh of relief when he believed her lie. "Well, Hermione. I don't see why you'd be stressed." He frowned. "You ace almost every subject."

She couldn't help but smile at this comment.

"Thanks, Harry. It just got to me a bit, that's all. I'm fine."

Harry grinned, nudging her shoulder in a friendly manner. She knew this was a male gesture. But she wasn't really sure she understood what was meant by it.

Ron swallowed noisily, turning his attention back to Hermione. "Why are you reading on the first day, anyway?" He cocked his head to the side, confused. For a second, he reminded her of a dog.

She giggled.

"What?" He asked, looking down on himself.

"Nothing." She blinked. "Just remembered something. And I can read any time I'd like, Ronald. There aren't _rules_ against it."

"There _should_ be." He grumbled.

Turning back her attention to her book, she closed it gently. "Fine. I'll stop. Happy?"

"Very!" Ron grinned, throwing an arm around her playfully. "Very happy."

She didn't react to his gesture of putting his arm around her shoulders, in all honestly, she wasn't sure how she was supposed to react. But, after what happened earlier with Malfoy, she was grateful for the acceptance.

Leaning forward, she scanned her eyes over the vast-array of food on offer. Most of it, she noted, was unhealthy. But her eyes rested on a plate of Corn-on-the-Cobs, and she grabbed the smallest one hesitantly. Almost everyone had experienced the unpleasant surprise when the food they were reaching for quickly morphed into something else. Often delving their hand into something very sticky, and very foul.

Nibbling at the small pieces of corn gently, she couldn't help but notice Ron's arm was still around her.

She didn't know what she thought of that.

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><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

The mudblood had vanished from his sight before his game had been completed.

Delving into the food that was present on the Slytherin table, Draco didn't speak much. His mind was else-where. And almost everyone could sense that.

Except..

"_Draaccooo!" _Pansy squeaked happily, hushing away people with a very unattractive growl to sit next to him. "I didn't see you come in!" Wrapping her arms around his neck, he shrugged her off.

"Pansy." He greeted her roughly. Not really caring for her presence.

"What's wrong, Sugar-Dragon?" She quipped. And Draco winced at the pathetic nickname she had given to him.

"My name is Draco." He gritted his teeth. "And nothing. I'm trying to think."

"About what? About us? _I've _been thinking about us! A-.."

"Pansy." He spoke softly, grabbing her face gently between his hands.

"Yes, Drakey?" She spoke, fluttering her eyelids.

He leaned in, getting closer and closer to her rather chubby face..

"Shut. Up. And. Go. Away." He spat. Pushing her away from him. Her face fell with disappointment, and rejection.

"I'll see you in the common room." She sniffed, standing up to sit further away from him, and Draco couldn't help but notice how she collapsed into her friends arms, crying.

But he honestly didn't give a fuck.

He was worked up. He was angry. And it was _her _fault for getting in the way of him. His little chase-and-insult game with Granger had been cut short. He still had a fire raging in his stomach, and he wanted to let it out. And he didn't care if it was on her, Pansy, or even Snape.

_Count to ten. _He thought bitterly, remembering his mothers advice.

_One mudblood, two mudblood, three mudblood._

He chuckled darkly to himself, and he felt himself deflate slightly. His silent, not-very-funny joke had made him feel better.

Leaning back, he ran his hand through his ice-blonde hair. His eyes darting towards the Gryfindor table. Frowning. He could easily see Granger from here without even trying. Her massive hair made her stick out like a sore-thumb. He couldn't help but grimace in disgust as he saw the ginger ones arm around her.

_She has the sex-appeal of a fat seal. _He thought sourly. _What was he doing?_

Blood traitor or not, Draco still felt anger prick him as he watched the pure-blood affectionately rub his hand on her back.

He knew it was wrong of him to do that. For all the much he hated the Mudblood, she was a strong person. Which is, apart from her filthy blood and know-it-all attitude, partly why he picked on her so much. She always fought back. Most people duck their heads and hide away. No fun. But she.. she was something different.

The moment on the train had been an exception. He'd seen it in her eyes. She was tired. So tired. Part of him wanted to leave off her for a while, he knew she'd be no fun like this, but part of him still yearned to feel that familiar joy as she finally began to raise his voice back at her.

He shook his head. What _was _he talking about? Of course he'd continue to insult the Mudblood. She had no right to be in this school.

Leaning back, he stretched, sighing.

_This year'll be interesting. _He thought. _Very._

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><p><strong>Well there you go! I know there's not any Dramione so far, but this'll be a very slow fanfic. But please bear with it. As always, please Read &amp; Review. It would mean the world to me!<strong>

**Lots of love, Kawi. :3 x**


	2. Can't you accept it?

**First of all, thank you all so much! The reception I had for the first chapter was more than I could ever dream of. Thank you to those who reviewed, the many who sent me messages on my Tumblr.**

**Incidentally, feel free to follow me on Tumblr. ; **

**.com/**

**But anyway. I have a few days before I start school again, so I'm going to pump out as many chapters as I can. Remember, though. The more reviews and such I get, the more inspired I am to write.**

**Also, I ask you to excuse me a bit if there's any errors in this story. The writing programme I use is a _prick._ **

**So, without further ado, enjoy the story!**

_**I do not own any of the characters used they all belong to J.K blah blah blahmollygoggles.**_

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><p>"Hermione!"<p>

Glancing up, she met a pair of angry, emerald green eyes.

"Uhm, Harry?" She blinked in confusion.

"Listen, I'm happy you've managed to do this.." He sighed. "But can you _please _get this dam snake off me?"

Hermione squeaked in alarm, immediately darting forward to gently prise off the jaws of the serpent , which had wrapped themselves around her friends arm.

"I'm so sorry!" She said, looking away in shame.

It was the first lesson of the year, and she was already _hating_ every moment of it. For a few reasons.

For one, she could barely keep her eyes open. Any attempt of sleep she had tried last night was in vain, no matter what, she just _couldn't _get her mind to shut-up for more than two seconds. Ron had offered that she could, perhaps, could sit with him during the night, if she was having trouble sleeping.

She declined the offer as nicely as she could, her mind wondering about the intentions behind that offer. Of course, he could just be being friendly. But.. there was a nibbling thought at the back of her mind that just wouldn't leave her.

She had managed to finish the task McGonagall had set them within the first five minutes, of course. As it was the first Transfiguration lesson of the year, the lesson had been fairly free. Simply change the animal given to them into whatever they liked.

Most people were given rats and mice, some bats, one of the poor Hufflepuffs had been given what looked like a very small horse. Ron had been given a large, blue/green bird, while Harry had a purple lizard.

Of course, she had the difficult animal.

She had winced when she was given the snake, holding it at arms length. She was overly fond of the slimy thing, it must be said.

"Erm.. Miss?" She had mumbled timidly. "There isn't any chance I could perhaps swap, is there?"

McGonagall had frowned with disappointment.

"Well. It doesn't look very pleased with what he's been given." She had observed. "Ask him."

With a glance over her shoulder, Hermione realised Draco was currently wrestling with a very angry looking cat. Emerging from under his desk, a couple of claw makes etched against his face, huffing, he caught her eye.

"What are you look at, Granger?" He spat, puffing out his chest, obviously trying to make himself look intimidating.

Well, as intimidating as you can be with a cat about to pounce on your crotch.

" would like to-.."

Hermione swiftly cut McGonagall off with a smile. "It's fine. I can handle this." And picking up her snake, she went to work, after, of course, watching Draco get mauled by the feline.

She giggled.

But her good mood hasn't lasted for long.

After managing to change her sleek, scaly companion into a small vase, she had felt smug. It was beautiful, in her opinion. With a detailed a complicated array of different patterns, twisting and turning around it. The colours were bright, and vivid, yet not enough to alarm the brain, it was almost calming to look at.

And then, it decided to bite her.

Gasping in alarm, she had quickly slapped away the animal she had even affectionately named 'Scales', pressing her hand onto the wound, stemming the blood.

"Stupid animal." Ron had spat, glaring at the snake with complete disgust. His bird was half-way between a china ornament and still very much alive, its whole body stiff and rigid, but its wings continued to flap furiously, meaning Ron had to hold it down if he didn't want it to smash.

"It's fine." Hermione sighed, watching as Scales slithered away. Part of her knew she should try to find it, but she just couldn't find the energy to.

Ron grumbled something about her sly and filthy Snakes were, and how they all deserved to perish.

Hermione laughed politely at him, not really interested. Her lids felt like they weighed a ton, and couldn't help herself as they slowly closed..

That's when Scales had decided Harry would be a good enough meal.

"Hermione, stop saying sorry, really." Harry sighed. "It's not your fault."

Opening her mouth to object, she swiftly closed it again after the look her friend gave her.

"Come on. Lets go eat something." He smiled at her, as they were dismissed.

"I, personally, would like to point out how starving I am.." Ron grinned, putting on a posh, fancy voice, which _really _didn't suit him.

"No surprise there, I guess." Came a cold sneer from behind them.

"Go away, Malfoy." Harry sighed, no bothering to put any edge into his words, Hermione noticed a dash of impatient sparkle in her friends eyes. After putting up for the Slytherin for so long, they really had no time for him and his little bully-sessions any-more.

Malfoy seemed to have no heard Harry, or was pretending not to, or he just didn't care. He carried on, regardless.

"Honestly, Weasel, did you ever think about _stopping_ eating? You might loose some weight." Malfoy paused. "Which, as I can see, is very much needed."

Ron simply shrugged, not bothered by the insults.

"You might even get yourself a girlfriend!" Malfoy continued. "Although, you might need a little more than weight loss for that. A bit of permanent alcohol might do..."

"Are you still going on, Malfoy?" Harry sighed. "Honestly, grow up."

Hermione faltered a bit. That wasn't like Harry. Normally, he'd be having a blazing argument by now, wands drawn.

Malfoy seemed to be as confused as her. "To much of a coward to have a fight, Potter?" He sneered, although his voice was laced with uncertainty.

"No." Harry spoke clearly. "I just grew up a bit. What's the point in fighting with you any-more? We're older now, Malfoy. Maybe it's time you let go."

Harry strode of, Ron behind him closely, and she had no choose but to follow.

_Why were they so calm? _She thought. _Harry had said something about growing up. About how they should just get over it.. but was it going to be that easy? Put so many years of rivalry just behind him? Harry probably could, but Malfoy? That was a different story. _

She had seen it in the blond wizards eyes. There was fire.

Hermione couldn't help but repress another voice in the back of her head.

_Its all very well Harry and Ron getting over it, _It whispered, _But can you, dear?_

She shook her head. Harry and Ron were so ready to give up their hate towards the Slytherin. But her memories of him constantly insulting her were still raw and fresh in her mind.

She still hated him.

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><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

Glaring at their retreating figures, Draco spat with annoyance at the floor. Once again, his game had been cut short. The mudblood on the train had walked away, now Potty and the Weasel had vanished from his sight.

What was he doing _wrong?_

Last year, they'd jump down his throat for just looking across the great hall at them during breakfast. Why had they just.. mellowed out?

Something was wrong.

Potters comment fucked him off. Grown up? They were still a bunch of kids running around with the world spat out flowers at every turn. The trio was just so perfect!

How dare he even think about talking to Draco like that? Potter may not of been a mudblood, but he was wasn't a pure-blood either.

_Why had Granger not spoken a word during his attempt of a argument?_

She had stood there, completely impartial. Normally, her hair would of puffed up to twice its normal size, her wand pressed against his chest, spitting insults at him.

He wasn't going to give up. Not in the slightest.

Scarhead and Weasel might have given up, but, Draco's thoughts lingered solely on the thought of Granger.

Marching into the hall, he took his place on the Slytherin table, making a note to sit as far away from Pansy as he could. Opting, instead, to take a seat next to Blaise.

"Draco." The dark-skinned boy greeted him.

"Blaise."

Draco couldn't help but like Blaise. He wasn't one to push a conversation when one wasn't needed. He just sat there, and it was a while before he even spoke.

"Who ruffled your fur, Draco?" He asked, his deep voice oddly comforting.

"Don't worry about it." Waving his hand dismissively at the subject.

Blaise arched an eyebrow. "It's not that hard to read you."

"Read me? You're not exactly reading me. I've been fighting with that little golden trio for years, now, so excuse me if I don't award you a medal."

Pressing his head into his hands, Draco gently ran a couple of fingers through his hair, knotting it in curls.

"What's wrong now?" Blaise sighed, leaning back, as if to get comfortable for a story.

"They've stopped reacting." Draco grimaced. "Every insult I've thrown at them, they just seem to ignore them. Potter and Weasel."

"And the girl?"

Ah. Here again.

"She got all huffy on the train when I started." Draco frowned.

"Then, you know what to do."

"What?"

Blaise tutted, as if the answer was obvious. "You want a reaction out of them? Attack Granger. Every time you see her, insult her. Make her life _hell._"

"And.. that'll.."

"Piss off her two friends. They'll have to react."

Sometimes, Blaise really was a genius.

"Thats perfect!" Draco grinned. "Perfect.."

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><p><strong>Sorry it's so short! XD But finally, finished. This chapter was a complete pain to me. It really was. I have a clear view of how this story'll go, it's just.. getting there. These filler chapters do my head in. Seriously. <strong>

**All the best.**

**Kali x**


	3. Hold on

**I'll keep this short. Big thanks to reviews and messages on tumblr. :3**

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><p><em>Hermione.<em>

"_Lumos." _Hermione whispered gently, pushing the door out of her way, entering the boys dormitory with a bit of caution.

She cleared her throat before speaking, "Ron?"

"Whazzsup?"

"Ron. Wake up."

"I dun' wannaaah."

"RON GET UP."

With a gasp, she watched as he finally threw himself forward in the bed. "What?" He grumbled, rubbing his eyes with his palm, eyeing her warily.

"I can't sleep." She frowned.

"S'hoo?" He managed to mumble out, his eyes still adjusting the light.

"You said," She frowned, suddenly feeling very awkward and unwanted. "that I could come sit with you."

"Oh!" Ron suddenly grinned, moving on his bed, pulling himself into a sitting position. "O' course,' mione."

Grateful, but unable to shake the fear of being intrusive, she sat on the edge of the bed, almost with her back to Ron.

"Oi." He mumbled, putting his arm around her waist. "Don't be so silly."

With a sigh, he gently pulled her closer to him, grasping his pillow and adjusting It so they could both lean back on it comfortably. Ron removed the arm from her waist, instead opting to trail his fingers gently across her upturned palm which rested in-between them.

"Ron.." She sighed, before fumbling in her pocket, pulling the drapes around his bed, and casting a quick spell so they no-one would hear their conversation.

"Hermione. Whats wrong?" He sighed at her. She felt her cheeks redden slightly, but it was nothing noticeable.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said quietly.

"I don't care. We're talking about it." He said sternly, pausing his affectionate touching on her hand.

She couldn't help but groan. She had come here to get away from what she was hiding from. She didn't want to end up talking about it. She opted to just simply ignore him, resting her head on his shoulder, but still keeping a distance between them. It ached her neck slightly, but she didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

"C'mon, 'mione. You come to see me in the middle and expect me not to wonder why?"

"But.."

He cut off her, placing a finger gently over her lips. "Just tell me, 'mione. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"My parents are getting divorced." She spoke swiftly, as if determined not to dwell on what she way actually saying. "They're selling their house. And, it turns out my mother was never to keen on magic anyway."

Ron moved his head in a 'How'd you mean?' fashion.

"She finds it weird.. She would only ever put up with it because my father was so proud of me."

"Hermione.." She could tell Ron was trying to use a comforting voice. "You're the smartest witch I've ever met, an-.."

"I don't care if I'm clever!" She snapped, her voice rising. "I don't care, if I'm the best in our year at everything! Moments like this, it doesn't matter. All the times I'm told I'm this amazing genius, and yeah, maybe I do get high marks. But that just isn't the point any-more, Ron!" Now she had started shouting, she found that this felt better than just trying to ignore the feeling. "I wish sometimes, someone would look at me, and realise _I'm not okay. _I haven't been okay for a while."

"Hermione.."

"Being clever.." Hermione almost growled. "Does not mean I'm happy, I wish people would realise that."

And with that, she pulled herself from his bed, and without looking back, departed.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

He had planned it all. He knew what to do.

He knew very much just how closely Potter, Weasel and Granger were. He knew attacking Granger was like taking away the middle in a stack of three bricks- The others would fall.

He hadn't slept much last night. His mind had been spinning with such erratic thoughts, he thought it would be impossible to ever sleep once more. He knew what was going to happen. This year.. was going to be so.. _Interesting._

It gave him a strange thrill, really. Yes, he loved demoralizing people, putting people down, slicing through their self-esteem.

But.. what he really loved was the _arguments._

Watching people try to stand up to him while he cut them down. That.. that was his favourite.

And Granger was perfect for this.

With her know-it-all attitude, her fiery temper. And the fact every part of her was just so _flawed._

He got up to early that weekend. Sitting on his bed while he waited patiently for the others around him to awake. Part of him ached to go to the Great-Hall now, get ready for the upcoming argument he had planned out, but after all the rumours that had been spread abut him and that _dam _Pansy, He knew that if the other boys who slept around him woke up to see an empty bed, and an absent Draco, he would only provide fuel for lies.

Cursing silently to himself, he leant backwards, listening quite contently to the sounds of the waves gently lapping against the walls.

_If there's something I love about Slytherin.. _He thought silently, _It has to be how its built._

Their common room lay deep in the dungeons, unknown to most unless they belonged under the banner of the sleek serpent. The walls were thick rock, looking rough and mossy, yet remained ever so soft to touch. An impressive fireplace fanned infront of them, bearing emerald flames, silver smoke climbing to the top of the room, before vanishing. The chairs and sofas that littered the room were draped with the finest silken blankets, the softest pillow resting peacefully in the crooks of the furniture. A few chess tables try to stand strong, but most had been pushed aside, replaced with more adult games, such as poker tables and such. It felt.. it felt like _home._

He was brought back to reality when a soft whimper met his ears, in the bed furthest from him, Blaise was slowly waking. Along with him Theodore Nott, Crabbe and Goyle.

With a loud yawn, Draco stretched, making his presence clear to them.

"You don't have to make so much noise waking up, y'know." Nott commented dryly.

"I yawned." Draco spat back, feeling annoyed at his comment. _He _hadn't even tried to argue with Nott, it wasn't his fault.

With a snort, Draco pushed himself to his feet, kicking away the mess he landed in without a second thought. He hadn't time to clean up the side of his bed. Besides, he knew where everything was anyway. Tidying it would just make things worse.

"Anyone coming to breakfast?" He snapped with annoyance. He knew it would be safer for him to go down with someone. The idea of people thinking he was going alone to meet Pansy made him stomach churn.

"I'll come." Nott sighed. "Not to be with you, of course. I'm just hungry."

Sometimes, Draco fucking hated the way Nott spoke. He was a loner; everyone knew that. Nott never bothered to be king of popularity, but he was always there.

And yet, he was so defensive. He could barely accompany Draco to the Great-Hall without making it known that he would prefer to be on his own.

"Move, then." Draco growled.

They slowly made their way to the Hall, or, Nott dragged his feet as slowly as possible and Draco had no choice but to match the gruelling pace.

"You look so rushed." Nott stated simply. "Rushing to meet a girl? Pansy?"

"Fuck off." Draco snarled back, a reflex. But his voice was cold, hard, and dripping with venom. Even Nott knew to shut up.

Draco breathed a sigh of relief as they finally entered the Hall. He immediately turned his glance to the table of Lions, spotting what he did seek. Granger.

"Save me some food." He mumbled weakly to Nott, forgetting that he had argued with him a few minutes ago.

Striding over, he manoeuvred his movements carefully. Slow and steady enough to make him look casual, yet still pumping power and force into his steps to deal an impact.

It was petty, perhaps, but still. It got her attention.

"Woah!" She had yelped as he walk into her. "Watch where you're going!"

He didn't answer, just stared challengingly at her with a low, cold glare. Her whole body seemed to shift. Every muscle, every limb. She was ready to fight.

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

"It's hardly worth it." Came a calm voice from behind her. She almost didn't hear it. The sheer rudeness of him had blocked out almost everything else. But when a hand gently rubbed her shoulder, she twisted around, calming as she looked into Harry's eyes.

"Not my fault the stench of your dirty blood distracted me." Came a growl, and she was sure he was wrinkling his nose. "Honestly, sort it out."

"You know what Draco? I-.."

"Hermione." She felt another hand twist her around, so her back was to the Slytherin. "Leave it."

She huffed. But felt calm come over her.

"I'm not finished with you!" She heard voice raise. but she had lost interest.

"It's just the same old insults, over and over." Harry murmured to her. "His insults are hollow. He probably doesn't even mean them any-more."

"I mean every word!" She heard him snarl behind her.

"C'mon, 'mione. Lets go. We can hang out in the common room today."

She smiled, following her friend, content. But she couldn't help but feel his icy glare on her as she retreated.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

He had done something wrong. Very wrong.

But, for now, it was the time of working out just what was wrong.

He watched in dismay as she left once again. That was three games of his now unresolved, and he felt failure bite at his spirit.

He just couldn't work it out. Normally, a mention of her blood had her going like a mad animal. And how rudely he had pushed past her. Rudeness did it as-well.

Making these many mental notes, he couldn't help but notice a recurring pattern.

Whenever he insulted her for something she had done, like tripping, or perhaps performing a spell wrong, she was never bothered. She shrugged it off.

But.. when it was things she couldn't affect, couldn't change.. that seemed to be what bothered her.

_Like her massive, puffy hair._ He thought bitterly.

_And her eyes. Her dull, disgusting eyes. _He growled in this thoughts.

_And her weight. And her height. Her voice. Her skin. Her dress sense. _

The list stretched on.

Looking around, he realised he'd walked himself back to his common room. Collapsing in the nearest chair, he cursed himself silently for being such a _fucking _idiot.

Granger was a girl. And what go to girls the most?

_Insult everything which their powerless to change about themselves._

He laughed loudly, excited by the prospect, earning a couple of glances from some of the people who sat around him. All of them seemed to edge away.

His stomach gave a funny little twist as he thought of all the insults he could throw at her, imaging what'd be like to use them and watch her face fall.

He simply _couldn't _wait.

* * *

><p><strong>Whewww. Done. That take a while. Now I'm just going to proof-read this..<strong>

**If you guys could see what this looks like before I proof read, you'd cry. Its terrible.**

**Anyway.**

**Treat today, aye guys? Two chapters in one day. Hurr. Don't get used to it. I'm quite ill today. XD**

**Sorry if this chapter is a bit off. My laptop died and I had to re-write half of it. Which I haaate. If you write fanfics, you'll know what I mean. When you loose work, you loose so much motivation to finish it.**

**And yes, I know. These chapters are a bit filler'ish. But I'm just trying to build it up.**

**Next chapter, stuff'll happen. I promise.**

**:3**

**Read and Review, Guys!**

**-Kawi.**


	4. Awoken To A Nightmare

**Thanks for the reviews and messages guys. Big thanks to **_Alicemaybrandonjones _**for pointing out some mistakes.**

**Without further ado, enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

Another sleepless night was closely haunting her, shadowing her steps. Dragging herself unwillingly through the day had drained her of the majority of energy she had managed to reserve. And yet, even though she felt positively dead on her feet, the prospect of sleeping seemed just so far away.

And, of course, she was right.

The rain that night was beyond horrendous. It smashed against the window pain with force of daggers, bringing with it the eerie sound of the wind slashing against the walls of the castle. The only thing that could possibly comfort her tonight would, perhaps, be the presence of the dark-blue sky.

She loved the comfort of the night sky. It offered her some stability. It never changed; nor did it move out of place. It was just.. consistent. Always. It was like a bit of security for her. Whenever she felt slightly alone at night, she knew one glance out of the window would leave the imprint of the gorgeous sky in her minds eye.

And yet, tonight, dark, grey clouds had stolen away her source of safe-being.

Her bed didn't feel right on this night. No matter how she was to position herself, she would be overcome with heat, and have to move, or she would shiver to the point of her teeth chattering together. Her pillow was out of shape, lumpy.

Part of her whispered to go and find Ron once more. She may not of slept that night, and it may of ended in a fight, but she had gotten a bit of relief. Someone at least knew how she was feeling.

But.. did he? She had only told him the bare basics of the situation. The tip of the iceberg.

With a sigh, she stopped trying to get comfortable, opting instead to ball up her pillow and blanket and carry it with her as she headed towards the windowsill.

Sitting down on the wide ledge, she pulled her items of warmth closer to her, resting her head gently against the wall, ignoring the feeling of the hard stone.

Did she even know herself, what she was feeling?

Her parents were getting a divorce. As far as she was concerned, things could be worse. She was sad over this, of course, but in the Muggle world these days, it was rare that a married couple would actually stay together for the course of their life.

She didn't like it, of course she didn't. She loved her mother and father more than anything in the world. When she had no-one else, she had them. And the fact that they were ever so blissfully innocent to all that occurred in her magical world was oddly soothing.

But.. she had never expected her mothers reaction. It stung with bitter betrayal..

"_I'm going to the Burrow now, Mum!" She had called from the front door, Ron tapping his foot in impatience. _

"_Where?" Her mother had sounded so confused, and Hermione shared the mutual feeling. _

"_With Ron.." She gestured to the red-head behind her with a jerk of her thumb. "His home. Hogwarts soon."_

"_Why are you going there?" Her mother had snapped, narrowing her eyes. _

"_It's my school! Ron's my friend!" She sighed. She didn't like spending time with her mother to much. One week, she was with her father, the other her mother got her. She felt like an unwanted tossed around toy._

"_I wish we never sent you to that school." Her mother had almost spat at her. "It's brought out the worst in you." None the less, her mother stepped forward and gave her a hug, but nothing more._

"_I'll see you later, Mum." Hermione had sighed weakly._

_Ron was too busy laughing at a couple of Muggles sweeping the road, utterly confused why they were using a racing broom to clean. Hermione just shook her head, grabbed his arm, and left._

She never would of expected her mother to have so little interest in her. She had _always _praised Hermione with her good grades. She was _always _there for her.

What had changed? What made her such a sudden failure. She loved magic. There wasn't anything wrong with that, was there?

A niggling thought gently pushed at her subconscious, and she did her best to ignore it.

Her father, though. He was always supportive. Even now, he was desperate to hear about her school. He loved getting letters, seeing the owl turn up. He loved staying up to the early hours of the morning listening to her school stories.

Her father was everything she needed.

But.. the more her memories flooded back to her, she couldn't help but notice the compliments she got from her mother.. she only received them when her father was around.

With a sharp intake of breath, her head suddenly tried to block out the thought, but she couldn't help it. It was to late.

Her mother loved her father more than her. She only faked interest in Hermione in order to please her husband.

Hermione felt like a bit of an idiot for not noticing it, but her anger swiftly subsided, leaving her to feel a bit numb.

The absence of a true mothers love hit her hard.

She felt tears prickle at her eyes, but she shook her head. She wasn't going to let this get to her. She was strong; she was brave, proud. She was a Gryfindor. Her mother could do what she liked. Hermione still had her friends.

But sometimes even the bravest minds cannot muster a strong enough thought to battle away the sharp slash of truth.

Nuzzling her way deeper into her pillow, she closed her eyes. She didn't want to think anymore. She just wanted to turn-off or a while. She felt her soul slowly drift, and reality blurred.

Sleep decided to be merciful. Sleep graced her with its presence.

* * *

><p>She was all alone.<p>

The walls were closing in.

She was trapped.

There was no escape. She had nothing to do but wait for her fate to take her. Was death waiting? Her head spun. She tried to stop thinking, but she couldn't. She felt sweat run down her neck, her eyes blurring. This wasn't happening. What was happening? Why wouldn't anyone help her? Was anyone there?

Where was she?

"Hermione."

The voice was familiar. Comforting. But.. what was it doing? It was no good as just a voice. She needed saving. She needed help.

"Hermione!"

The voice was harder now, with a tinge of annoyance. Hermione gasped, trying desperately to escape. The sudden stench of blood slashing into her, burning her throat.

"Hermione!"

Her eyes whipped open, meeting a fierce looking red-head.

"Ginny?" She managed to mumble. Her throat feeling like sandpaper.

"Why are you all sweaty?" Ginny asked her.

Hermione groaned, looking down. She had fallen asleep on the windowsill, and her neck had paid the price. Pulling herself forward, she cringed as felt it click.

"Bad dream." She mumbled, pulling herself up. "You feel like coming down to breakfast with me?"

Ginny grimaced. "Hermione. You slept in. It's almost time for dinner.."

_.. Bugger._ Hermione cursed herself silently. She knew she was tired, and she knew her body needed resting, but she hardly expected to sleep in _this_ late!

"Why didn't anyone wake me?" Hermione gasped, running towards a mirror, in an attempt to sort out her hair.

"You needed your sleep." Ginny sighed, watching with a slight hint of amusement, watching the battle between girl and hair. "We can all see that.."

"Thanks."

"You know what I mean."

Hermione sighed, staring in dismay at the mirror. Her hair stuck up at weird angles, some curly, others completely straight. She went to feel for her wand to try and fix it, but she didn't have enough energy to do so, and she knew Ginny was exactly an expert on spells to fix a mane of hair as puffy as Hermiones.

With a grunt of defeat, Hermione paused. "I give up. Shall we go down to the Great Hall, then? I'm actually starving."

Ginny smiled. "Of course."

They made their way down to the hall slowly. Hermione ducking her head in shame a few times when people sneered and laughed at her hair. She felt bad. She always tried to work with the little looks she could, and for heavens sake, she had only looked bad for one day. Why was everyone so intent on reminding her?

She breathed a sigh of relief as they reached their destination. Ginny appeared to quietly slip away from Hermione, heading towards an unknown Ravenclaw boy. Hermione shrugged, it really wasn't any of her business, and continued to walk towards Harry and Ron.

More people continued to stare at her, some nudging those nearest and giggling. Sticking out her chin, she tried to keep together her pride.

"Hey Hermi-.. ohnee."

Harry had paused midway through her name, and she tried to ignore it. "Hey, Harry."

She took a seat between them, taking small sips at a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Woah, guys, calm down. The conversation here is giving me a headache." She mumbled sarcastically, feeling vulnerable.

"Sorry." Ron smiled. "It's nice to see you've emerged finally. We thought you'd gone into hibernation."

"You could of woken me up. I had no intention of sleeping today away."

"We can't go into the girls dormitory.."

"You could of gotten someone else to!"

"We did. We got Ginny." Harry smiled.

Hermione murmured in defeat. "Thanks."

Ron moved closer to her, just slightly.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco. <strong>

He'd gotten up early that morning. Before anyone else.

_Screw it if they think I'm with Pansy. _He had thought bitterly, clambering around, trying to get changed as quickly as possible. _This is worth it._

He had sat at his table like an obedient dog. Wide-eyed and bushy tailed. Eyes gazing across the hall in a futile attempt to find her.

She wasn't on the Gryfindor table. Which was odd. She wasn't on the Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff either.

With a grin, he stood up. Maybe she'd fallen ill. Or better, maybe she was hurt.

His mind alive with the possibilities, he almost skipped to the Hospital Wing. He thought about how defenceless she would be, injured, unable to fight back his insults..

"No. She's not in here." Madam Pomfrey had snapped at him. "Now, go away. I have patients to tend to."

Well, that was one dream ruined.

He simply shrugged, walking away. He shouldn't of jumped to conclusions anyway. She'd probably slept in. It wouldn't surprise him.

* * *

><p>And then, he saw her.<p>

He'd sulked into the Hall, convinced that he wouldn't see her all day. He'd gotten himself all worked up to tear her down.. and nothing.

If it was even possible, her hair was worse than usual. Half of it seemed to have curled up, wrapping itself into what looked like knots, while the other half was almost completely flat, with a single, spiked strip of hair sticking out, before curling at the tip.

He snorted. This was too easy.

He knew there was no point trying to start an argument in the hall. Potter and Weasel would get in the way to quickly. As much as he hated it, he had to bide his time.

His didn't eat much, and couldn't help but fidget. His eyes couldn't help but flicker to her from time to time. It was like a release to him, to argue. To fight, to get his own back on someone.. To be in control of some-ones feelings..

_Shut up.. _He told himself quietly. He was getting himself worked up.

Then she stood up.

Almost instantly, he copied her movements. He cursed himself instantly, but no-one appeared to of noticed they synchronized movements.

This time, though, he paused. Waiting for her to go a bit ahead before following.

"Oi, Granger!"

He caught up with her, standing a bit behind her, waiting for her to turn around. When she did not, he frowned.

"I'm talking to you, Granger!" He spat, taking a step forward. "Go ahead and grace me with your Mudblood words!"

"Bugger off, Malfoy!" She sighed bitterly, but she turned around anyway.

"Woah." Draco looked her up and down with disgust. "Sorry I talked to you. I wish I never saw that."

She stiffened, hurt gleaming in her eyes.

"Honestly, Granger. You should do something with that hair of yours. It looks as bad as you stink."

She didn't speak.

"But then again, just fixing your hair won't change how utterly filthy you look."

Her eyes shimmered, and he knew he'd done something right. He grinned as he watched a single tear descend.

"_Fuck off, Mudblood. Looking at you is giving me a headache." _He purred, venom literally dripping from his words.

She burst into tears, fleeing towards her common room.

_The first game, _Draco thought gleefully, _to me._

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><p><strong>Hurr. Finally, I managed to finish this chapter. Again, to me, it felt filler'ish. But at least this time we're finally starting into the whole trail of things. Draco, as he said, had won the first game. It was time. <strong>

**Some of this was written at 5 in morning, others I've literally just finished, at 20 minutes to ten at night. So, excuse me for errors. Feel free to point them out!**

**I'm going to get some cereal.**

**Read and Review, guys.**

**- Kali x**


	5. Meet Your Demon

**Thanks for the reviews.**

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

She awoke with a start.

With a groan, she grasped the blankets around here, pulling them closer. Unwillingly to shake the dreary feeling of sleep from her. Gasping lightly at the cold air that whisked around her almost violently.

"Hermione?" Ginnys quiet voice came from beside her.

"Yeah?" She managed to mumble back, pulling herself up. "I didn't sleep in again, did I?"

"No. You're safe. I'm about to go down to breakfast, if you want to come with me." Hermione could almost hear the smile in her voice.

"I need to do my hair.." Hermione grumbled. "I don't want to.. but it's gotta be done."

"Oh.. Well are you sure?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the offer, though, Ginny."

Hermione paused, listening to the retreating steps of Ginny, before she managed to pull herself from her bed, casting a quick glare in the mirror. Her hair was worse than yesterday. With a couple of half-hearted attempts to fix it with her wand, she gave in. She'd have to wash it.

Staggering in the bathroom, she felt a little relieved. She'd been able to sleep these past two nights, which was an improvement. She just hoped she could keep it up, sleep deprivation was slowly taking a toll on her emotional state.

Slowly removing her clothes, she stepped over to lock the door. She really shouldn't. It was a rule well known to the girls- _If the door was shut, don't go in._

Still, she felt incredibly paranoid and self-conscious, and with a sigh, she stepped into the warm waters of the shower.

Except it wasn't warm. It was _freezing._

With a yelp, she jumped backwards, the water taking her by surprise, and ended up slamming her head against the wall.

With a groan, she felt herself slowly fall into a sitting position, her mind spinning, as she desperately tried to gain control of her senses again.

Once she was a bit more stable, she lent in hesitantly, turning one of the dials on the shower so it should of warmed the water. But she wasn't fooled. She could feel the cold air radiating towards her.

Looking around, she realised her wand was still beside her bed. And there was no point going to get it. A cold shower wouldn't be to bad.

Slowly placing her foot in, she cringed as she felt the cold stab at her. But nonetheless, she pressed on, before she was standing underneath it completely.

It wasn't _that _bad.

If anything, it was nice. The constant stabs of cold completely distracted her. The freezing water grasped the top of her head like a hand, occasionally shifting, more of her scalp getting the treatment. Her head spun slightly as her head began to ache. But she didn't move. She was more than willing to simply loose herself.

With a sigh, she leant down, picking up a bottle of shampoo, stepping out of the way of the water to run it through her hair.

She rushed cleaning her hair, desperate to feel the shower once more. Her skin began to dry slowly, and she couldn't stand it.

Once again feeling the embrace of the water, she let her eyes wander. Resting on a bottle of conditioner. She didn't normally use it on her hair, but she couldn't help but wonder.

Of course, she didn't know who it belonged to. But it wouldn't hurt whoever it was, if she just used a little.

But, that meant she had to once more step out of her precious cold water.

It didn't take her long, she had to admit. And once it was all washed out, she quickly shaved, although she didn't really _need _to, and was quite proud of herself when she didn't even see one little cut from the razor.

With a little reluctance, she turned off the shower, stepping out. Cringing as the warm air slowly overtook her with some intensity.

Pulling her clothes back on, she closed her eyes briefly, trying to push away the feeling the shower had given her. She felt so much calmer, all her anger had slowly dripped from her. She felt lighter, and more free than she had in a while.

* * *

><p>"Hermione?"<p>

"Hey, Harry." She smiled, taking a seat beside him. "Are you okay?"

"Erm.. Are you?"

Hermione frowned. "Of course I am. I'm not going to let what happened yesterday get to me."

"What happened yesterday?"

_He doesn't know._ She thought. _Oh, well. He doesn't need to. It was nothing anyway._

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. Now, why do you keep staring at me?"

"Your hair looks nice, Hermione." He smiled.

She almost instantly ran her hand through her hair, instead of leaving it to its bushy self, she'd used her wand to curl the tips of it, and had also lightened the colour slightly.

"Thanks," She grinned. "Where's Ron?"

"Here." Came a mumbled voice from behind them. "What'd you do to your hair, 'mione?"

"I.. washed it.. and erm. Did.. Hair stuff to it?" She suggested weakly.

"Looks.. different. But nice. I like it." He laughed, reaching forward to flick on of the curls resting on her back.

She snorted in fake annoyance, patting his hand away.

"Feisty." He grinned at her, sitting next to her. "What brought this on?"

Hermione shrugged. "No reason. I just felt like.. changing. I mean.. my hair before was horrible. Wasn't it? Everyone would laugh at me." _Not to mention how small Malfoy made me feel. _She thought bitterly.

"It was fine!" Ginny had come to join, sitting on the opposite side of the table to them. "Really, Hermione. I only left you to wash your hair, and you come back with this!"

"I thought it looked nice." Harry grumbled.

"It does look nice." Ginny sighed. "Just because of what Malfoy said to you yesterday, You shoul-.."

"What did Malfoy say?" Ron spat, putting down his food.

"He didn't say anything." Hermione argued, casting a glare at Ginny. "_Nothing_. Ginny, I'll talk to you later."

Ginny snorted, staring at Hermione with rage in her eyes, but she ignored her.

"If that _fucking _little bastard said anything to you.." Ron said bitterly.

"Don't swear, Ron. And he didn't. It's fine, really."

He didn't look convinced.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

"Draccoooooooo!"

_Fuck._

"Hey, Pansy."

Draco cringed slightly as she placed herself in his lap. She seemed to of forgotten about how he'd rejected her in the Great Hall.

"I missed you." She pouted, twisting herself around so she could face him.

Draco felt like screaming. He'd come to the Slytherin common room to relax in his favourite chair, next to the crackling fire. Not to be used as some sort of toy by Pansy.

"That's nice." He said, deadpan.

"Did you miss me?" She asked, carrying on as if she hadn't registered his emotions towards her. Although he'd made them quite clear.

"Can't say I did." He sighed, moving slightly, trying to get her to move.

"You're mean. You know that?" She said to him, her voice slightly bitter.

_Wait. _He thought. _Pansy's a girl. Pansy used to be bullied._

He smirked.

_She could help him. _He almost chuckled.

"Draco?" She mumbled, looking hurt.

"Come on, pet. Don't look like that." He suddenly smiled, drawing her closer, trying to ignoring the repulsion he felt. "I'm sorry. You know.. I've just missed you so bad.. I felt like you didn't want me any-more.."

She gently pushed her finger over his mouth. "I'll always want you, Drakey. You know that!"

"Oh, won't you prove it, love?" He smiled, but his voice was strained. He felt like throwing up. He couldn't even believe that a few seconds ago this sounded like a good idea.

Her eyes lit up, and she leant forward, gently pressing her lips to his briefly, before pulling away.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

_Oh, for fuck sake._ He thought bitterly.

"Of course I am." Draco sighed, the strain in his voice a bit apparent.

Pansy was on him in an instant.

Draco tried to ignore the feeling of her arms around his neck, and concentrated getting this over with. His kisses were half-hearted, weak. And when he felt her try to deepen the kiss, he knew he had to distract her. His mind was scrambled for a moment, before he leant down, picking up her left arm, gently placing a kiss on a small scar on her arm.

"Draco?" She asked curiously.

"How did you get this?" He asked, faking concern.

"I thought I already told you." She frowned, but continued on. "First-year. A bunch of Ravenclaw seventh-years thought I was being obnoxious. They started shouting things at me.. and I lashed out. And they just defended themselves." She shrugged. "I don't know what spell it was. But it was pretty nasty. I had to go to Madame Pomfrey. She fixed it up for me, but I was left with that.."

"You don't mind if we talk about it?" Draco purred, pulling her closer to his chest, comforting her.

_Perfect._

"I.. I guess not." Pansy frowned. "What else do you want to know?"

"What did they say to you?"

"Urm. Well.. they called me fat. They told me I was so small I could be married to Flitwick. They said my eyes were to small, called me stupid. Told me my uniform was disgusting."

Mentally making notes of these, he turned back to Pansy.

"I'm really sorry." He mumbled. "They shouldn't of said that. You're perfect."

Pansy pulled her sleeves down. "Thanks, Draco."

He nuzzled gently into her hair briefly, before sighing. "I want to stay with you.." He lied. He felt his patience wearing. "I really do. But I have to go get some sleep. I'll speak to you soon, yeah, pet?"

She smiled, standing. "Of course, Drakey. Sleep well!"

He turned his back, smirking.

* * *

><p><strong>I don't have much to say here. But.. I do have one thing.<strong>

**Draco isn't the only one lying. ;)**

**Oh, I tease. I'm really sorry about how short this chapter is, but I wanted to get something out today, seeing as my time on my laptop today is very limited. As always, please, Read & Review! **

**Thanks :3**

**Read & Review! 3**

**Kawi x**


	6. Everyone Hurts

**Started school again. Gaah! -.- I have so much work to do already. I have to prepare a 3 minute solo performance to half the school, and I have to do art coursework, and Maths, Science, Citizen. GAH CAN'T DO THIS.**

**So yeah. Updates are gonna be less frequent. Sorry guys.**

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><p><em>Hermione.<em>

Hermione began to enjoy her cold showers.

In fact, it was all she seemed to look forward. When resting her head on her pillow at night, listening to the gentle breeze that whisked around the stone walls of the castle, her mind was alight with the excitement. She couldn't wait to feel the fresh water run down her back, every time she shifted, even slightly, a brand-new prickling feeling would dig at her. The satisfaction she felt as her skin slowly turned numb, her head shaking.

But.. it never hurt her. Of course, she cringed at first. It was a bit of a shock. But there was never any pain. It never did anything but relax her.

After the incident with her hair and a certain Slytherin, the Monday starting the week had been nothing but normal. Her lessons were just as they always had been. Easy, yet interesting.

Harry, on the other hand, wasn't doing so good. He was withdrawn, dark shadows appearing under his eyes. His skin paler than usual, his movements clumsy. Almost weak.

Hermione did her best to keep an eye on her friend, some sort of maternal instinct seemed to of risen inside her. She watched him like a hawk at eating-times. Making sure he wasn't skipping meals, watching his movements to see if he had anything _obviously _wrong with him.

But, after a couple of days, Hermione had to admit, he just looked ill. It wasn't surprising in the slightest; winter wasn't far away and chills and colds were plentiful in a castle with a bunch of teenagers locked up together.

Even if Harry did look a bit further on ahead of a common cold, he may just be getting a flu.

_He'll get fixed up in the hospital wing in no time. _She thought. _Stop worrying._

So she tried. But she just couldn't shift the instinct deep in her stomach. She just wanted to make sure he was okay. Watching him flinch in pain every-time he coughed, or watching his eyes close in a wince when he moved to fast..

Her relationship with Ron was growing rapidly.

She didn't really mind- but she wasn't necessarily encouraging it either. Of course, when he came up behind in while she was simply lounging by the lake on one of the rare, almost-warm days, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into a close embrace, she didn't fight it. Her heart fluttered weakly, she even blushed a few times.

_It's a nice feeling,_ She had decided. _To be wanted._

Pushing her hair from her eyes, she gently lowered herself to lay flat on her back on the soft, green grass. Jumping lightly at the occasionally pricks of a harsh cold breeze that was slowly making its ways across the ground. The sun itself hung in the sky almost mournfully As if trying the bless the land with the bare amounts of warmth it had left, before the angry looking black clouds threatened to roll over.

She closed her eyes briefly, trying to loose herself in the feeling of the suns rays. Summer heat was unique. No warming charm she could cast would ever feel quite the same.

"'Mione?"

Her silence was ruined.

"Hey, Ron." She smiled, feeling slightly strained. It was as if he followed her everyone she went now-a-days.

She kept her eyes closed, feeling his presence next to her, not bothering to look at him.

"So. Erm.. What are you doing out here?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders clumsily. "All alone?"

She shrugged in return, mumbling. "I was making the most of the sun." She sighed. "It'll be gone soon."

"It doesn't feel like there's any sun." He grumbled. "It's cold."

She frowned, opening a single eye to peer at him. "If you don't like it, you can go back inside."

"But then you'd be all alone."

His voice sent a pang of emotion through Hermione, and she felt herself blush at this words. He'd said them so passionately, as if leaving her alone would break his heart. She pulled herself up, almost drawn to him.

"Heh.." She couldn't think of what else to say, and felt slightly awkward. She felt the need to say something to him equally as sweet, but she couldn't find the words.

Drawing his arms towards her, her wrapped them around her waist, gently pulling her towards her.

"Hermione." He smiled.

She felt content resting gently against his shoulder.

Until the ground beneath her vanished.

Squeaking in alarm, her eyes shot open, squirming as Ron attempted to pick her up, and place her in his lap.

"What are you doing?" She snapped, trying to fight away from him.

"Woah, 'Mione!" He gasped. "Calm down!"

She fought from his grip, jumping to her feet. "Don't!" Her hand roughly grasped her pocket, gripping her wand, but pausing.

"Don't need to get so moody!" He grumbled, pulling himself to his feet. "I was doing something nice!"

Guilt instantly overwhelmed her, and she felt bad. He _had _only been trying to be nice.

"Ron.." She sighed, starting towards him.

"Don't bother!" He snapped, turning his back. "I'll be in the castle. Stay out here if you like. On your own. I only thought you'd want some company."

"Please!" She begged, trying to grab his arm.

He wretched the limb from her grip. "See you later, Hermione."

She watched him gone in a haunting silence, a lone tear gently rolling down her cheek.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

It didn't take long for Pansy to become the clingy _bitch _she was known for.

Suddenly, she was everywhere at once. And he couldn't escape her.

"Drakkeeeyyyy!"

He despised his name.

Once, he had enjoyed it. It was royal, powerful, strong. _Draco. _

But now..

He brought his hands to his hair, gripping his scalp and tugging.

"What?" He suddenly snarled, turning around, glaring.

"Hi." Pansy purred.

She obviously hadn't taken any notice of his sudden outburst. He felt his temper reach its edge.

"Are you going to follow me around _all _day?" He snapped.

"Maybe." She simply mumbled, grasping his hand. "Don't pretend you don't like seeing me, Drakey!"

He opened his mouth to object, but closed it again, grinding his teeth.

"Oh?" She watched him, eager to know what he was about to say.

But he simply pushed her aside, momentarily forgetting himself.

Pansy let out a over-exaggerated yelp as she was pushed into the wall, glaring at Draco with venom.

"You hurt me!" She whined, falling to her knees with a pathetic whimper. "Draco. Come and help me up!"

"You're fine." He spat, turning his gaze to her. "Get up."

She winked at him, before letting a tear run down her face. "Dracoo!" She howled, and dismay prickled at him as a Ravenclaw Seventh-year came to the scene.

Normally, Draco thought, Pansy would spit and glare as the Raven approached her. But, Pansy seemed so intent on making Draco repent, she could bare the contact.

"Parkinson?" The Ravenclaw mumbled, not quite approaching, looking wary.

Pansy gave a pathetic mew, looking desperately up at the girl Draco recognised as Harley Ruins.

"Harley.." Pansy sniffed.

"What happened?" Ruins raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Well.. I was just standing here.. and talking to Draco.." Pansy paused to let out a fake sob, but diverting her eyes to stare directly at Draco.

He could read her eyes. She was giving him a '_I'll do it. I'll do it!'_

He felt anger well up in him once more, knowing he had no choice if he didn't want to get into trouble for shoving a girl.

"Yes?" Ruins asked, looking at Pansy with round, honest eyes.

"And she fell." Draco snapped, sighing in defeat. "She fell. I'm sorry, Honey.." He tried to hold back a repulsed growl at the pet nick-name, leaning down, extending a hand to her. "Really, baby. I'm sorry."

Pansy grinned at him, taking his hand, coming to her feet and running into his arms. "Thank you, Drakey!"

The Ravenclaw raised an eyebrow, looking a bit cheated. "Don't waste my time again."

"Oh, bugger off, smart arse." Pansy turned her back, ignoring Ruins snort of anger. "C'mon, Draco.."

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

"Did you hear what Malfoy did?"

Hermione sighed, pushing her food away from her. She had half-heartedly tried to eat some, but it felt like her stomach would reject anything she attempted to feed it.

Maybe she caught the illness Harry had. Maybe.

"No.." She sighed, turning her gaze to Ginny. "And I don't care what he did.."

Ginny ignored her, leaning closer to her friend, picking up a scrap of bacon from Hermiones plate.

"Well, word from Harley Ruins.."

"Who?"

"The Ravenclaw.. The one who got that bite from the plant and started growing tentacles from her eyebrows."

"Oh yeah.."

"Well.." Ginny annunciated the word, as if to add a dramatic effect. "She was on her way back to her common room, when she heard a girl crying! _Of course, _she ran to help out whoever it was.."

Hermione made a rough noise to indicate her interest.

"Guess who it was! Pansy Parkinson! The pug-faced bitch from Slytherin!"

"Ginny.. Really.. I don't ca-.."

"And, of course, Draco made up some shit about her falling over.." Ginny waved her hand in dismissal. "But apparently, it sounds like they were fighting before hand. And I for one don't think she just _fell. _I mean.. I'm not keen on Parkinson. Who is? I wouldn't put it past Draco hit a girl.. I've seen him when he's angry."

"Mmm.." Hermione mumbled.

"Hermione, are you even listening?" Ginny tutted.

"Yeah, I agree.." Hermione grinned weakly. "Yeah.. She deserved it.."

"Hermione!" The red-head next to her snapped. "You weren't listening!"

Exhaling, Hermione rested her forehead against the cold wood of the dining tables, running her hands through her tangled hair, pulling her robes closer to her, feeling the bite of the cold air around her. "I'm sorry, Gin. I just.." She shook her head, unable to find words.

"Distracted?" Ginny suggested, but her eyes narrowed. "Really. I can barely have a conversation with you now-a-days." With a disgruntled glare, Ginny swung her bag around her shoulder, leaving Hermione to sit sadly on her own.

Deciding that the library would be a good place to spend time, she to grasped her rucksack, but a familiar chirping interrupted her leaving.

Twisting around her eyes fell upon a small, black/grey owl pulling gently at her robes, a small, scarlet letter held delicately in its beak.

With a soft smile, she recognised it. While her parents never had any owls to really send her messages with, this little bird had taken it upon itself to fly towards her parents house, back and forth, every couple of weeks, so Hermione could keep in contact.

Falling to her haunches, she gently stroked the top of its head. "Sorry, little fellow." She smiled. "I don't have any treats on me."

As if to punish her, the owl let the parchment fall, giving Hermione a sharp peck on her wrist.

With a frown, she almost roughly pushed the bird away, cringing at the pain. "Hey.." She mumbed, that's no excuse.."

The owl gave a hoot, before flying away.

Holding the note gently in her palm, she stood, debating whether she really wanted to open it. Last time it had been nothing but bad news.

She shook her head, she knew she'd have to open it.

The words were simple.

_Hermione._

_You can't come home for the Christmas Holidays. And I forbid you to see your father. Don't disgrace him with your unnatural presence._

_In regards to your grades, I must inform you how little I care. Once you start performing your normal duties, like normal humans, I might offer you a little congratulations._

_However, as me and your father have both agreed, you are not a normal human._

_Yours sincerely._

Her mother hadn't even bother to sign her name.

Hermione felt warm tears run down her face.

'_However, as me and your father have both agreed, you are not a normal human.'_

* * *

><p><strong>This is so terrible it hurts. I'm gonna proof-read it.<strong>

**Woah. I hate this chapter. I'm finding it really hard to keep writing while constantly getting interrupted by School. ¬.¬ But hey, its the weekend soon. I'll see what I can do. I'll try to write as much chapters infront as possible so I can just release them without having to write them.**

**Again, I'm sorry for how short/shit this chapter is.. xD Please, Read & Review!**

**-Kawi x**


	7. Lets Play Happy Families

**As I quote the sexiest man alive (Tom Felton, obv.) 'I got that Friday feeling!' :') I love that man. We will marry one day. *Cough* Anyway. Thanks for all the reviews!**

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><p><em>Hermione.<em>

"And then.." Came a cold, deadpan drawl from the front of the class, "You stir the potion three times, clockwise, then once anti-clockwise. Slowly add the boar ash and keep the liquid moving. Never let it settle.."

She quickly noted down as much as she could; her hand flying like maniac over her parchment, the nib of her quill slowly wearing under the effort, her ink shorting out in places.

"Once you've added all the ingredients.." Snape continued, "Heat it as hot as you can until it changes to a pure white colour. If it turns grey, you're a failure." He smirked, his gaze sweeping across the children sat in-front of him, sometimes resting on some of the more incompetent of their class.

She dropped the quill from her hand, letting it rest next to her, slowly extending her fingers. Writing for an entire hour hurt.. a lot.

"You okay?" Ron mumbled beside her.

"Fine." She tried her hardest not to snap. While she had tried to be normal to Ron, he seemed to pick and choose whether he had forgiven her or not, and she didn't have any energy to put up with his mood swings.

"Feels weird, doesn't it?" Ron carried on, seeming to be in a nice mood today.

"Does it?" She mumbled, packing away her things.

"Without Harry." He sighed.

Hermione shrugged. As if trying to shrug of her feelings as well. Harry had been admitted into the Hospital Wing for the day. His flu had gotten worse, and his voice had gone. Madame Pomfrey said she could fix him in a second, but she found it hard to get round to him. Almost everyone was running towards the Hospital Wing at some point. The sun had officially retired, and the icy cold winds now claimed the grounds. If people weren't catching colds, they were falling on the ice, slipping on the snow. Harry had dutifully sent the poor old nurse away every-time she went to tend to him, demanding that the others needed looking after first.

A sneaking feeling told her that Harry wanted to miss triple-potions as well.

"He'll be back in no time." She mumbled, heaving her heavy rucksack onto her back with a groan.

"You going to lunch, 'Mione?"

She shook her head. "I need to drop off some books from my bag _before _I shatter my shoulder bone."

He laughed once, before gently patting her shoulder. Apparently, they were fine now.

She clenched her teeth, feeling a bit cheated. She'd had to tip-toe around him the past few days, and now _everything _was just okay?

She didn't bother to give him a full goodbye, just turned her back and exited the dungeons.

"Oh, ?"

Wanting to slam her head against the nearest wall in frustration, she ground her teeth slightly, before turning around.

"Professor?" She asked, confused. Ron offered her a sympathetic glance before escaping the dungeon as fast as he feet could take him.

"I needed to talk to you." Snape said ever so slowly, casting an almost disapproving glance over her.

She nodded. "About?"

"Your homework is not legitimate." He grasped a wedge of parchment in his hands, waving it carelessly. She cringed as his thumb smudged a lot of the ink.

"Sir.."

"No, . I've had reasons to believe that this is _not _your own work. I want you to do this again. And you'll do it _again, and again, and again." _He annunciated the words. "Until you write it from your own knowledge. Copying out of library books is strictly forbidden."

"But sir!" She exclaimed, forgetting herself. "Sir.. I didn't! I swear!"

"Don't lie to me." He growled in a low voice. "I expect this homework in soon. And if you don't get it done.. you'll face the consequences.."

"When by?" She queried, taking the stack of papers from him.

But Snape either didn't hear her, or chose to ignore her, as he turned his back on her, effectively ending their conversation.

By the time she had managed to get to her room, half of the students were already getting ready for the next class. So she put on a bit of run in order to get at least a morsel of food to eat.

But no luck- By the time she arrived Ron was walking out, looking very stuffed.

"Was waiting for you." He explained. "But you didn't arrive.. I had saved you food.. but you didn't turn up.."

Hermione had to bite her tongue, wanting to point out he could of at least brought something to her, but she let it slide. Her stomach, after all, was barely growling. She could get by until dinner.

Her next classes went rather quickly; but the absent Harry meant Ron bothered her with all his incessant chatter. He began at first to attempt to talk about Quiditch with her, but she was having none of it. So he reluctantly changed tactics.

"What are you doing for Christmas?"

The sentence hit her like a bullet, bringing back fresh memories of the forgotten letter. She immediately shot her hand to her pocket, clenching the scarlet parchment.

"I don't know." She mumbled quietly.

"Not going to your Mothers? Or your Fathers?"

_What,_ She thought bitterly, _So I can either have my Mother constantly tell me how much of an unnatural freak I was, about how I wasn't supposed to be born, and that saying the fact that the mere mention of me being related to her caused bile to rise in her throat? Or have to go to my Fathers, and make him endure daily letters or phone-calls of abuse from Mother for letting such a stain enter his home?_

She shook her head sadly.

"You could always come and stay with me.."

Her eyes lit up. "Really?" She almost gasped. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not." Ron seemed rather taken back. "You've done it before.."

"Not for the entire holidays!" She grinned. "Thank you, Ron!"

He pulled her into a hug, all of their hard feelings for each-other melting away.

"No problem." He mumbled into her ear. "None at all."

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

Fire is relentless. Fire is volatile.

Fire never takes into account feelings. Its course is set, its angry nature determined to ruin all it touches.

Pressing his head into his hands, Draco exhaled loudly.

Leaning back, he cast a glance over his surroundings. The black lake stood solemnly in front of him, the ripples of the murky water just visible in the pale light that the moon had allowed; the waves gently lapping at the shore with a soft, comforting noise. Almost as if the wave was _shushing _everyone around It. Of course, Draco was the only one around. He'd made sure of that.

The night sky was almost black, slowly swallowing up the last vision he had of the moon. He'd lost track of the time a while ago, but it seemed very irrelevant. He knew he had a few hours before anyone would notice his absence.

He was resting atop a large boulder, which acted almost like a pier to the lake. The sides of it were smooth and slanted, allowing one easy access to the top; It was mostly used in the summer, where students would climb on top and sun themselves from it. The Gryffindors would joke that because that's what Lions did, they had claim to the rock.

He couldn't help but smile lightly at these little details. He missed the spring months, and the summer. Everything was so free. He could literally do whatever he did please. The weather was hot and the girls were easy. Spending each day with a new whore in his bed, eating as much as he wanted, attending classes whenever he did please..

He breathed out once more, reining his mind back in from this pointless thought tract.

Summer had passed. Everything would be different now. To different.

His fathers owl would come any-day now. Demanding his presence at the manor. His training would once more start. Dumbledore would have to be shrugged off with some lie, and his life would be turned upside down.

Of course, he was used to it by now. Every year he'd be pulled from his slumber in unruly times of the night to brave the harsh winds, bitter colds, just to please his father.

Pulling himself up into a sitting position, his eyes glanced over a small bird gently skimming the water with its wings. He felt a stab of envy at its care free nature, and he suddenly saw red. How _dare _the animal enjoy such a careless life?

His hand twitched to his wand, drawing it out, aiming it, sending a sharp stunning spell at the bird, smirking in content as it fell into the water. Draco knew it wouldn't be able to surface.

_Proves it right. _He thought bitterly. _This life isn't easy. _

"Such violence, Draco."

He whipped around, his heart suddenly beating at five times its normal rate, he felt his palm slip from the smooth of the rock beneath him, plunging him off the side, into the sheer cold of the lake.

Spluttering, he pulled himself from it, his robes heavy with water, weighing him down. Flicks of his blonde hair splayed against his forehead. He raised a head to move the stray strands from his eyes, turning to gaze at the the one who had greeted him.

Albus Dumbledore inclined his head. "I'm sorry for giving you a fright, Draco."

He felt a flicker of annoyance at how casually he was greeted. He was used to teachers using his second name. If not out of teacher policy, out of respect.

He opened his mouth to curse the old fool for sneaking up on him, but closed it again, not bothering to waste his words.

Dumbledore raised his wand, pointing it directly at the Slytherin, and Draco immediately felt a sense of warm spread through his limbs, his robes drying almost instantly, leaving them feel even softer than they were before against his skin.

"Of course; I expected you to hear my approach. You must have had some very deep thoughts for you not to hear me."

"Perhaps." Draco allowed, avoiding the other wizards eyes, feeling slightly vulnerable.

"Never the less, I did not come here to exchange pleasantries, as much as I enjoy it." Dumbledore smiled lightly. "I am merely here to inform you that you are excused of any absences of this coming Winter."

Draco froze, a cold sweat coming over his body.

"I.. I don't need.. Excuses.. I'll be.."

"Oh, Draco. Do not act so shocked." Dumbledore gently placed his wand back in his pocket. "I am not here to judge you. I am simply giving you a bit of help. You will run into no trouble while you do what you must do."

"I don't need your help!" He spat bitterly, his eyes narrowing.

"Have a good night, Draco. But don't dawdle here too long; the winds bite is fatal."

And with that, Dumbledore turned his back, humming a merry tune, and continued towards the castle.

"Fool.." Draco mumbled. "Stupid.. Stupid fool.." He continued to mumble profanities, feeling for his wand inside his robes, grimacing when he found it wasn't there.

He glanced around, alarm hitting him, before his eyes rested on a small body on the shoreline.

The bird he had cursed lay there, unmoving, but in its beak was his wand.

Draco leant down, snatching the wand away. Because of that fool Dumbledore he'd almost lost his wand.

_Who does he think he is? _He thought. _How dare he? I don't need help. It's none of his business. As usual, the old coot is getting involved in everything that doesn't concern him._

He glanced up, the moon swallowed completely by the clouds.

"It _is_ cold.." He admitted quietly.

And without another word, he marched back towards the castle, following the faint sounds of the hummed tune.

The days passed quickly for the youngest Malfoy. As much as he gritted his teeth and tried to slow them, there was no mercy. He'd awake in the morning, and before he knew it he'd be putting his head on his pillow once more to request sleep.

His dreams were blurred, no longer focusing on a single point. They often twisted and turned, full of indecision and laced with uncertainty.

His days were just the same. He spent almost all his time his eyes turned skyward, impatiently scanning the skies for his fathers familiar owl, expecting to see the midnight blue plumes of the bird at any moment. His heart skipping a beat when he thought he saw it fluttering towards him, but of course, most of the time, it wasn't for him.

He could barely concentrate on his work any-more, not bothering to aim for grades, only trying to get through the day. His mind wandered to his trainings of previous years, trying his hardest to mentally prepare himself, remembering the words his Father had told him..

"_Why am I even learning all of this?" Draco had spat, looking ruffled. "It's pointless. I learn all this in school."_

"_Boy, don't be so naïve." His father growled. "If you are to be an active part of our organisation, you need to be able to fight!"_

_Draco ground his teeth at 'Organisation'._

"_I don't even have my mark yet! You said I might not even get it."_

_A harsh hand slammed into the blonde's cheek, sending him to his knees._

"_You will get your mark when you reedeemed ready! And if you don't prove yourself, you'll never get it! This isn't a game, Draco!"_

"_I know it isn't a game." He mumbled back, feeling defeated._

"_Then get up." A strict order. "And continue. I want to see those animals your testing on mutilated."_

"_Yes, Father." He mumbled, raising his wand once more, knowing there was no point fighting any longer. _

His training had a simple goal; make him appear like a worthy soldier for the Dark Lord. Merlin forbid that Lucius Malfoys son would be rejected the role of a Death Eater. No deeper shame could befall the family.

But.. it all seemed so pointless. Draco was worked all night, with tiring spells, exhausting routines, constant reviews of the laws of the new world they were preparing..

Of course, Draco wished to serve the Dark Lord. He was, after all, going to rule this forsake world one day; and getting on his good side would be a good start. But there was a chance that he'd be looked over, deemed unworthy to be an elite follower. And all the training he had gone through would have been completely pointless.

He spent the majority of his time in the Common Room, choosing not to partake in the constantly parties the Slytherin house was known for. While others around him fell under the influence of alcohol, gambling away the majority of their possession, he sulked quietly in the corner. Doing his best to keep out of the way. His constant worrying had drained him of energy. The numerous whores that followed him around like complete puppy dogs didn't seem to recognise this, however. A few of them daring enough to take a seat in his lap, doing their best to seduce him.

He shrugged the most of them off, but one of them.. was very convincing..

She threw her blonde curls back with a sweep of her head, practically falling into Dracos lap.

"Oh!" She grinned. "I'd say I'm sorry.." She paused to sweep her eyes up and down him. "But I'm really not.. What's a nice little catch like you just sitting here on your own?" She pouted, drawing herself closer to him.

"Thinking." He mumbled, shifting to move out of her way. But, the little whore was having none of that, with a seductive purr, she pressed her chest against his, her breasts bulging slightly in her top.

"Well.. maybe I could stop you thinking for a while.."

Draco didn't recognise her, which was a good sign. She looked about a year younger than him, but he could only tell by the fact a gaggle of her friends were watching with round eyes.

"- He's not going to do it.."

A smug voice echoed behind him, and he fought the urge to turn around, he knew that voice. He'd recognise that voice from anywhere.

"He's with me.." He heard her state. "He'll get rid of her in a moment.."

Fury raged inside his stomach, how _dare _Pansy suggest he belonged to someone? He immediately knew how to get his revenge..

"Maybe you can.." He whispered huskily, moving to run his hand up the girls thigh. "Come now, pet. What's your name?"

The girl seductively batted her eyelashes, moving her lips to his ear. "Melissa.." She told him. "Remember it well.." She smiled.

"Oh, I'm sure I will.. You probably know mine.."

"I'll be screaming it later, Soldier." She promised.

A spasm of heat rushed to his head as he felt her hot breath tickle his ear, grinning slightly at the word 'Soldier'. Sick humour really was his thing.

Grasping her face, he shoved his lips to hers, nipping at her soft, red flesh, trying to show his dominance over her. She seemed unwilling to give it to him, trying her hardest to take control. Draco was having none of it- _He'd _be the one in charge. Leaning down, he let his lips hover gently over he neck, flicking at her skin with his tongue, before pressing his teeth against it, biting gently at her.

He bit gently at different points of her neck, before planting soft kisses against each spot, before moving back to resume his attempt to dominate the girl. He bit down on her bottom lip, staring directly into her eyes.

She whimpered in submission, and he felt his own body give an involuntary reaction of its own at the noise. He suddenly stood, wrapping his arms around her roughly, not bothering to break the embrace, shoving her into one of the shadowy corners, pressing her back against the wall.

"You scared?" He whispered into the kiss, pushing his hips against hers, knowing she'd be able to feel his erection.

"If you want me to be.." She giggled back, moving her hand lower, letting her fingertips skim his torso, before going lower, and lower..

He ripped off his belt, allowing her to dip her hand into his trousers, grinning in victory as he felt her grasp him.

Moving his head once more, he set about placing as many hickeys on the girls neck as physically possible.

"Fuuhhck.." He growled, as her hand slowly moved up and down his length. "Melissa.."

"Enjoying it?" She purred back at him, picking up the pace.

He thrust into her hand slightly, unable to hold back his movements. "I can't hold back.." He gasped.

"Oh?" He felt disappointment hit his stomach as her hand retracted. "If you want me to finish you off..." She grinned at him. "Why don't you help me out?" She leant down, grabbing his hand, leading into to her scandalously short skirt.

He didn't bother to argue, immediately pulling up her skirt with an expert hand, rubbing his hand on the bottom of her panties. They were already damp. Wet.. for him..

"_DRACO MALFOY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"_

The loud, arrogant voice suddenly pulled him out of his sex-craving state, and he whipped around, ignoring the disappointed noise Melissa made.

"What are you doing to that _slut!" _Pansy roared, grabbing his shoulder and yanking him away from her. Melissa desperately pulled her skirt back into position, blushing as the whole common room turned to the scene.

"What do you think I'm doing, Pansy?" He snarled. "I was about to give her what she wanted! I don't see how that's a crime!"

"You're not even with her!" Pansy cried, going to slap Draco around his face.

He caught the hand. "I'm not with _YOU _either! You seem to have this assumption that I'm yours, Pansy. When I'm _really _not! I wouldn't date you if you were the last girl on earth!"

Everyone had fell quiet, watching the scene unfold.

"But.."

"No, Pansy.." He spat, pointing a finger to her face, jabbing her with each word. "I. Don't. Want. You. I never wanted you! Go find someone else who'll put up with you!"

Draco half-expected her to cry, but there was no hurt in her eyes. Just pure, animalistic rage.

"You know what? Maybe I will!"

And without another word, Pansy stormed away, heading towards her dormitory. Melissa slipped passed him as-well, not sparing him a second glance, her cheeks still red from embarrassment.

Every ones eyes turned to Draco, and he narrowed his. "Fuck off. The lot of you."

Kicking a chair venomously on his way, he to retreated to his common room, to finish himself off.

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><p><strong>I've never written smut before. That was weird. Time to proof-read.<strong>

**Barely any mistakes. That makes a change. XD But I hope this is okay. It's longer the normal, and Its mostly Draco. Sorry if you guys like the Hermione prospective more- I promise you the next chapter will be even again.**

**Thank you for all the reviews guys! Seriously, the more reviews I get, the more inspired I am to write. So If you want another chapter faster, you know what to do!**

**All the best.**

**Kali**

**x**


	8. Each At Arms Length

**Read & Review, Guys.**

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><p><em>Hermione.<em>

It didn't take long for the snow to come, and bless the grounds with its soft, white presence.

The snows came early this year; to the delight of some, and the horror of others. Hermione was part of the latter. The Gryffindor common room was slowly filling and swelling with a sudden influx of students who could no longer bear the grounds, causing the noise level to rise, and rowdiness to reach a maximum. Almost every night there was a scuffle of some sort. And as much as she tried, she couldn't get enough peace to concentrate. The fact she was being made to rewrite almost every piece of homework she had ever given to Snape was killing her. Not only that, she had to almost dumb her answers down in order to make it appear like she hadn't copied them out of a book.

Which she hadn't, but of course, Snape wouldn't believe her. She knew she'd loose marks for it.

Her quill would scratch away at the parchment each night, the stack of paper slowly diminishing. No one paid her a second glance; they were used to her almost anti-social behaviour by now. She wrote long into the night, often having to skip meals if she wanted a decent sleep. She accepted the kind offers of food Harry and Ron gave her. They even took to sneaking into the kitchens at night to bring her midnight snacks.

She graciously accepted them, even if they were only morsels.

But, after a while, her workload began to lessen. And she found herself once more revelling in her free time. Harry was finally healed at the Hospital Wing, and had returned with the old glint in his eyes, although his movements were still weak. She still felt protective towards him, and she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to shake herself of that feeling.

Of course, Harry had missed a lot of lessons after his little bout of illness, leaving him with a fair share of homework of his own to be completed. Rather than complete it during the day, however, he took to staying up late with Hermione, working long into the night.

Most of the time, they didn't speak. Working in silence was a action appreciated by both of them. But tonight, Harry had other ideas.

"Hermione?" He whispered, dropping his quill with a frustrated sigh.

She made a rough noise in her throat to indicate she had heard him, but continued writing.

"Are you hungry?"

She shrugged her shoulders. In truth, her stomach was gnawing and quietly growling with gluttonous thoughts, but she had work to do.

"It won't take us long to walk to the kitchens.." He reasoned quietly. "As long as we're quiet, we won't draw any attention to ourselves."

"Harry.." She grumbled. "We have work to do."

"'Mione. Really. It won't take long. Besides, you've been sitting down all day. You need to stretch your legs or you'll just get stuck in that position."

She forced a laugh. "Fine. But I don't want to be long.." She cast a gaze over her stack of work. If anything, it looked bigger than yesterday.

"We won't be." He reassured her, pulling himself from his seat, stretching.

She copied his movements with slight hesitation. She _had _been sitting down all day, and her legs were weak, her knees buckling beneath her.

Harry dashed forward and caught her by her shoulders, holding her up. "Mione?" He grinned at her.

She playfully swatted him away, feeling blood rush to her limbs, strength returning to her. "I'm not a child, Harry. I can stand on my own."

"Well, it doesn't look like that from where I'm standing.."

"What are you, The-Boy-Who-Makes-Sure-People-Don't-Fall-Over?"

"Really, Hermione. You crack me up. I'm dying over here.." He rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"Why thank you, Mr Potter.."

He cracked a grin at the use of his title. "Oh, we're being formal? Then lead the way, Mrs Granger, ladies first!"

"You just don't know your way to the kitchens."

Harry pulled a face. "Of course I do. Ron is my room-mate. You don't know how many times he sleep walks there and I have to follow him and bring him back before he takes a bite out of an unsuspecting house-elf."

Hermiones jaw dropped.

"I'm kidding.." Harry laughed. "But not about the sleep-walking.."

She laughed alongside him, reaching for her wand which was resting next to a stack of books.

"_Lumos." _She mumbled, holding her wand in front of her.

"Go ahead, Hermione." He mumbled, poking her back.

"Maybe you should lead the way.." She suggested weakly.

"Scared of the dark?" He taunted playfully, but he took her hand in a friendly manner anyway, pulling her gently forward.

She didn't answer, she didn't want to. She had no intention of revealing the fact that she _was _in fact scared of the dark.

The trip to the kitchens was a long one. Even while using the many shortcuts Harry had learnt over the years. Twisting corridors and hidden stairs, slanted slopes leading to hidden drop holes, all the time while avoiding the many teachers and prefects that skulked around every corner, trying to catch any student out of bed.

"Hermione, don't breath."

"Charming you are, Harry."

But she soon closed her mouth as Snape swept past them, the shadows only concealing them faintly.

"Pure luck he didn't see us.." Harry breathed. "Now, what were you saying about me _not _being charming?"

But, they eventually made it to their destination. Out of breath and clutching their sides after having to flee from , they finally collapsed into a shadowy corner of the kitchens.

"Sir?"

One of the house elfs approached them, looking confused. "What brings such a wizard as yourself to the kitchens at such an hour?"

"What'd you think?" He rolled his eyes. "Is there any chance you can get us some food?"

"Of course, Sir!" It squeaked, scampering away, gesturing that they should follow.

The other house-elfs approached them warily, unsure of their sudden arrival, but after hearing of their needs of food, they all spurred into action.

"Is there anything specifically that you would like?" The elf that greeted them asked, who had told them his name was Yuleh.

Harry shrugged. "As long as there's a lot of pumpkin juice.." He laughed as Hermione cast him a confused look. "That side effects of some spell Pomfrey did to make me better, I feel dehydrated all the time.."

Yuleh smiled, before turning to Hermione. "Is there anything for you, Miss?"

She felt bad, looking down at the poor creature. _He's barely wearing anything, he must be freezing cold down here._

Harry caught her eye, and flicked her cheek gently. "Hermione. They want to make you food- Don't be so silly."

She shrugged him off. "Do you have any apples?" She asked shyly, feeling rude.

"Of course, M'am! Plenty!"

And without a word, Yuleh scurried away, telling them he wouldn't keep them waiting for long.

Harry settled down with his back against one of the walls, tapping the stone with his hand, frowning.

Hermione cast a look at the dusty ground, aiming her wand at the floor and clearing it of the majority of the dirt before taking a seat next to him.

"I don't understand why you feel bad about letting them do this." Harry sighed, casting a glance over the kitchens, and the scurrying elfs.

"Don't start." She mumbled back, closing her eyes. "Really."

"It's their j-.."

But Harry was cut off by a very happy looking Yuleh, holding a silver bowl filled to the brim with green, shiny apples. A few other elfs behind him were dragging along a seemingly whole barrel of Pumpkin juice. Yuleh smiled, before extending two goblets towards them.

"Is this okay, Sir?"

"Perfect!" Harry reassured him. "Thanks, Yoolah."

"Yuleh.." Hermione corrected him quietly.

But Yuleh didn't seem to mind, before vanishing back into his workplace, along with the others.

Harry stood, filling both of the containers with the liquid, handing one of them back to Hermione. She pressed it to her lips, sipping it gently, before putting it down.

Harry, on the other hand, downed his within seconds, immediately filling it once more.

Hermione reached towards the bowl of apples, taking one in her hand, and rolling it around for a bit.

"I don't know if anyone's told you, Hermione, but that isn't how you eat an apple."

She cast a dark glare in his direction, and he looked a bit taken back.

"Sorry," She mumbled. "And I know. I'm just.." She sighed, putting the food down. "Not hungry."

"How can you not be hungry? You haven't eaten all day!" He exclaimed, filling his goblet once more.

"I.." She paused, picking up the apple and taking a small bite of it. The taste was foul and bitter, feeling very much like soap on her tongue. She swallowed it with a grimace. "I don't know. Probably just a phase." She waved her hand dismissively. "Now, if you've quite finished drinking yourself half to death, maybe we should get back to the common room.."

"You're right.." He sighed, tossing the container aside. "It is rather late."

Hermione made a rough noise of agreement in her throat, ignoring the fact that Harry had just dunked his hand into the barrel, but couldn't overlook the fact he was now licking at his fingers like a dog.

"Harry! That's disgusting." She sighed, turning her back.

"No, you just don't approve." He grinned. "I've wiped my hands, I promise. Now, back to your earlier idea of leaving?"

She nodded, starting towards the entrance, casting one last glance at the apple she had taken a small bite out of it.

_It's just out of date. _She thought. _Just a bit of foul food._

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

He'd almost given up when he heard the familiar tapping on his window.

With a angered sigh, he flung it open, narrowing his eyes at the owl that flew inside. It was everything that he had expected. Midnight blue plumes were ruffled and standing on odd ends, the tip of its tail a complete albino white. Its beak looked crooked, and it smelt of a rich pine forest.

"Took your time." He spat at the bird, grabbing the letter with impatience.

It gave a displeased hoot, before flying to land on his shoulder.

_It's expecting a reply. _He thought. _This is really it._

He ran a finger under the wax-sealed envelope, pulling out the indigo-coloured parchment with ease, mentally scolding his mother. She always paid extravagant amounts on silly coloured papers. It was a stupid passion.

The ink was a gold, almost looking like stars against the parchment, giving it the impression of a night sky.

_DM._

_It is time. You know your place. However; there is a slight hitch in the plan for this year. You'll be starting your course a little later than usual. We have had pressing issues to handle, and we just don't have time. You will return to the manor when Christmas break takes place. Use the Hogwarts express, and your mother shall meet you and bring you home._

_Speak of this to no one, if you value your life, as you know. Your course will be more straining this year, so I advice you to mentally prepare yourself._

_Don't disappoint, Draco. _

_LM._

He almost threw the letter down in frustration. He had to _wait? _Great. Just great. After working himself up after these past few days, he still had a few weeks left before..

"Fuck!" He spat. "Fucking.. Fuck.. Go fucking die!" He threw his fist against the cold stone of the common room, gasping lightly as the skin on his knuckles broke, blood welling in small spots. But the cuts only made him angrier, and he kicked out at the nearest chair, breaking the leg, causing it to tumble. He saw red, unable to hold his anger back. "FUCKING!" He snarled, aiming his wand at the fallen furniture, causing it to explode into a mass of splinters.

"Draco?"

Theodores voice came from the entrance of the common room, but Draco didn't bother to look, he pounded the wall once more, feeling the anger drain from him.

"Stop that, Draco. That's no way to deal with this."

He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He hadn't lost control of his temper in a while. He thought it was under control.

Clearly not.

He may of despised Theodore, but he had grown up with him. As much as they had parted ways, Theo had seen his temper before. He knew how to handle him.

"It's been a long time since I've seen you like this. The Malfoy temper seems to be emerging in you once more." Theo observed dryly, not moving towards Draco, keeping his distance at the entrance.

"I had it under control." Draco gritted his teeth. "I still do.."

"I'm sure that broken and abused chair can vouch for you."

"Shut up, Nott."

Theo frowned at the use of his second name, it was a good sign. Draco was slowly coming back to his own mind to remember how he normally referred to people with their second names.

"Insulting me won't help." He sighed, then noticed the letter Draco held. "You got in then? Good. Go pack."

"I'm not leaving yet." Draco grumbled. "I have ages."

"It doesn't matter, it'll keep your mind off things."

With no energy left to argue, Draco sent a disgusted look towards his ex-child-hood friend, before storming upstairs.

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

After their little trip to the kitchens last night, she couldn't wait to finally sleep. After returning, she bade a quick farewell to her friend, before dragging her feet to her dormitory, collapsing fully clothed on her bed. Sleep didn't come easy, though.

She once again raged a silent war in her head. Her body seemingly determined to displease her. Laying on her side proved to hot, laying on her back was to cold. Laying on her front was pure-out uncomfortable. Without her blanket she felt exposed and vulnerable, but with it she felt stuffy and bound. One pillow didn't support her head, making her neck ache. But two pillows lifted her to much, giving her a clear out view into the shadowy staircase.

Darkness. She shuddered. She'd held this childish fear for years, never quite being able to fully shake it.

Of course, her fear was a little more developed that what most small children feared. While they thought ghosts were coming to get them, she knew that was rubbish. She saw the ghosts on a daily basis. Nearly Headless Nick, The Bloody Baron. She had no reason to fear them.

But, after being exposed to magic, you realise some things that Muggles shrug off, are in fact real.

She feared Inferius. She feared demons. She feared not knowing what was there. The thought of something watching her, ready to pounce and tear her apart..

She forced her eyes away from the shadows. Burying her face into her pillow, squeezing her eyes shut. She felt safe when she was with Harry and Ron, never giving them any suggestion that every night she slowly tortured herself with her over active imagination.

_Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I'm happy.._

Maybe the brains she had been given looked like a gift.. but when she was trying to sleep at night, it was hard to turn off her mind.

She whimpered quietly, an involuntary action. And she cringed, pulling her blanket over her head, trying desperately trying to rein in the drowsy feeling of sleep.

Sleep was merciful. Sleep blessed her.

* * *

><p>"Just eat something." Ron sighed in frustration, placing some strips of chicken on her plate. "It's annoying. You barely eat any-more.."<p>

Hermiones stomach rumbled, as if in agreement to these words. She cast a glance at the food on her plate, and was suddenly hit with a ravenous feeling. She forked the chicken into her mouth without a second glance, swallowing swiftly, leaning forward to pile more food onto her plate.

Ron watched with wide-eyes at her sudden appetite. "Woah.." He laughed lightly. "And I was here, thinking I was going to have to shove it down your throat.."

She didn't bother to reply, beginning to devour as many pieces of chicken she could.

"Slow down. You'll give yourself a headache." Harry laughed from next to her, and she playfully elbowed him in the side.

Dinner continued on as usual. Laughter, joking and talking was abound. With their stomachs full, the three of them decided to retire for the night.

"Oh, look who it is!"

_Not again! _She cursed quietly.

"So, I was going higher, and higher.." Harry continued on, seemingly oblivious to Malfoys intrusion.

"Strutting like you own the place.. Really.. No one would even dream of entrusting something like this to you.. But maybe that crackpot Dumble-bore might consider it. The fucking batty old fool." Malfoy growled, coming to stand in front of them.

"Highest you've been so far?" Ron laughed. "Really, Harry?"

"I'd like to see you do better." Harry smirked, simply side-stepping

"But I have! And you know I have! You saw me!"

"Yeah, then you fell off. And Fred and George had to catch you."

"Shut up, Harry."

"Oi, Scarhead and Weasel! Going off to your little love shack?" Malfoy taunted, trying to catch up with them.

"Just telling the truth, Ron!"

Hermione twisted her head, seeing if Malfoy had got the picture yet. His mouth was turned into an arrogant scowl, eyes narrowed.

She went to turn back around, trying to catch up with the boys, but suddenly, the blonde wizard smirked, catching her eye.

"Nice uniform, Granger!" He called, stepping infront of her, blocking her path completely, placing a hand on either of the walls. Harry and Ron continued on, too into their conversation to notice.

She considered calling them back briefly, before deciding she could handle this herself. It was only Malfoy.

"Move, please." She smiled at him, trying to be pleasant.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "Look at your tie, Granger. If it goes up any higher you'll be strangled by it.. come to think of it, I might just have to marry that tie if that happens." His mouth curled into a icy-cold grin.

She glanced down at her tie. She always made it like that.. she saw no point wearing it so low and wide it looked like a disfigured necklace. What was the point in wearing it then?

"Get out of my way, Malfoy." She sighed, her patience ebbing.

"You still tuck your shirt in?" He sneered. "Really? I suppose that's so no one can stick their hands down there.. not that anyone would."

She felt a flicker of annoyance at his crudeness, trying to push past him, but to no avail.

"Did anyone tell you that girls wear _skirts, _not trousers?" He spat at her. "But then again, it wouldn't help you that much."

Hermione hadn't really ever thought of wearing a skirt- she didn't think it would suit her that much.

"Hermione?"

Harrys voice sounded from infront of them, and Draco whipped around. "Get out of here, Potter!"

"Stay away from her, Malfoy." He growled, Ron appearing around the corner, taking in the situation.

"Fuck off, Ferret." Ron snarled, moving forward, taking Hermiones hand affectionately.

"Well well well!" Draco laughed. "This is interesting. The mud-blood and the Weasel!"

Ron ignored him, pushing past. Harry joined them, and Hermione felt a flash of annoyance. She didn't need escorting away like a child. She was handling the situation just fine.

She glanced down at her uniform, huffing. She didn't care what Malfoy thought. She was happy with her uniform.

* * *

><p><strong>Lol enjoy. :'3<strong>

**I managed to do two chapters this weekend. Which is kinda impressive. These have been quite long aswell.. xD But I have school tomorrow. So I'll try my hardest to write as much as I can, but I'm in the year where I have to study for my exams.. soo.. Yeah.. **

**Please, I can't stress this enough. REVIEW. PLEASE. If I get one review, I'm a bit like 'Well, I've got no motivation, I won't update this week' But if I get like, ten reviews, It really makes me feel like you want to read more. :)**

**Thanks for reading. _REVIEW._**

_**Kawi**_

_**x**_


	9. Over And Done

**Sorry for the lack of chapters- My laptop broke and I had to send it off to repair. I have it back, and I'm trying to write again, but like I've said before, school, coursework and mostly my artwork is killing me right now.. So yeah. **

**Review, please.**

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

"Hermioneeeey! Heeerrrmoooohhneeeeh! Hermynee, Hermikee, Hermy Hermy, herminyon!"

Pressing her face into her hands, she gritted her teeth, trying to ignore the voice.

"Heeeeerm!" Ron and Harry grinned with each word. "I! Oh! Nee!"

"WHAT?" She suddenly spat, throwing her book to the floor with as much force as she could muster. Her finger caught on one of the pages, and she grimaced as the paper cut slickly into her skin.

Thick, scarlet blood emerged from the wound at an alarming rate, staining her ivory skin with its taint.

"Look what you did." She sighed, shaking her finger to remove the droplets, she pressed her other hand on it, applying pressure to stop the flow, not bothering to reach for her wand. The cut was small, and there was really no point using magic on it. It would be silly.

She stuck her hand into her pocket, letting the silky, cold feeling of her robes embrace her hand, and she shivered. The cold feeling reminding her of her cold showers. She hadn't gotten enough time to enjoy one today, and was thoroughly looking forward to return home, where she could spend as long as she liked in her own personal bathroom.

Her thoughts faltered, and she realised she was returning home with Ron, rather than her family.

She felt her heart drop a bit, and her hand clenched, her fingers wrapping around a small piece of paper in her pocket.

She ran her thumb across it, recognising it as the letter her mother had sent her, and the words flashed in her head, the accusation of her not being _human. _

But, no matter how much the words ran in her head, she couldn't convince herself that she didn't want to see her family again.

_There's nothing you can do. _She reminded herself quietly. _They don't want you there._

She gulped, and was suddenly brought back to reality.

"I'm really sorry!" Ron was gasping. "Really, I didn't mean to annoy you. I'm so sorry, Hermione. Please."

She shook her head. "It's fine." She sighed, but her words were merely a breath. She could barely find her voice, and her chest suddenly ached, as if she'd run miles.

She stood suddenly, almost falling onto Harry when she swayed.

"Hermione?" He blinked up at her, steadying her.

"I need to walk." She mumbled, pushing forwards.

"Maybe.. now isn't the best time." Harry frowned. "You can barely stand."

She simply shrugged her shoulders, making for the carriage doors, pulling them open, she closed them behind her gratefully, leaning her back against the wall, letting out a long sigh of relief, the air outside the room was fresher, the smoke from exploding snap had barely touched the air.

She considered just staying there for the rest of the journey, but she knew someone would see her after a while, and she didn't feel up to answering any awkward questions. She didn't really have anywhere to go, however, and going back with the boys would just end up giving her a head-ache.

_I'll find Ginny. _She decided, starting forward.

She passed through the part of the train that had a majority of Hufflepuffs, smiling politely as some of them nodded at her, and mumbling a 'Thanks' when they moved out the way of her. She peered briefly into the carriages as she past, noting that the majority of them were eating.

She laughed quietly to herself, remembering that the Hufflepuffs dormitory was near the kitchens, meaning they could get there any time, whenever they liked, _and_ in quick time. They must of brought food onto the train in an attempt to escape the creeping prices of the food that the trolley held.

She knew Ginny would be in the Ravenclaw compartment, over the past few days all the red-head had done related back to this mysterious Ravenclaw boy. Ron had been under the impression that Ginny had been skipping meals, and had been determined to find out why, but a quick glance across the Hall made them realise that Ginny was skipping her meals, just spending them in the company of others.

She held her breath slightly as she realised she would have to pass through the mass of Slytherins that always assembled on the part of the train connected to the Ravenclaws, and she bit her lip in annoyance. Her tooth worked the soft flesh, but she suddenly pulled herself from her almost-nervous break down just in time to save her lip from spilling even more of her blood.

She huffed, silently scolding herself. She had no reason to be scared. She probably wouldn't even run into Malfoy. The Slytherin was probably off with some girl in a deserted area of the train.

She cringed lightly, the thought of it making her cringe. Hermione was many things, but she wasn't _sexual._

She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts, before continuing on.

Her first few steps where fine, a few people turned to sneer at her, but she didn't see the platinum blonde hair of him in any of them, and she relaxed.

"_I don't want to wait!"_

She froze, his familiar voice meeting her eyes, she pressed herself against the wall, realising he was in the carriage coming up. She considered making a run for it, but curiosity got the best of her, and she listened in cautiously.

"Draco, really." Came another voice, Blaise Zabini, she realised. "You'll be on it soon."

"I don't care. I didn't want to take this stupid train like an idiot. I should have been taken like I had been every year, quickly and quietly. I hate doing this."

There was a pause, and Hermione cocked her head in confusion.

"Stop looking at me like that, Pansy." Draco suddenly spat.

"I'm not looking at you!" Came an angry retort, and Draco huffed.

"You should stop hanging on about what happened with Melissa, you know." He sighed, his voice softer, but it still had an edge.

"I'm not." Pansys voice was low, gentle. "I'm really not. After all, you're starting your training. I won't be able to see you anyway."

"Like he'd actually want to see you." Came a cool, low voice which Hermione didn't recognise. "Pansy, I'm not being rude, but Malfoy has made his feelings clear."

Whoever it was, he referred with second names, so they couldn't of been that close.

They was a slight scuffle, and a small, embarrassed whine, and Hermione presumed that Pansy had blushed.

_Wait. _Hermione realised. _Training? He's starting his training? What training?_

A harsh cold wind slashed through her suddenly, and she pulled her hand out of her pocket to brace herself. Relief hitting her as the wind vanished, leaving her confused.

But confusion turned to sheer terror as she saw her parents letter fly from her hand, and straight into the Slytherins compartment.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

He watched in some sort of sick delight as Pansy squirmed in embarrassment, her cheeks flushing bright red. It had taken a few words from Nott, but she seemed to of got the picture. She avoided his eyes, pulling up a book to avoid the awkward glances that were being shared around the group.

His eyes flickered to the ceiling, and to the window, watching as the scenery blurred past him. He pulled his feet up, stretching over the train seats, closing his eyes briefly, realising that in a few hours, he wouldn't be in the presence of laughter, or banter. The feeling of his friends around him would vanish, leaving him to have to cower in the company of Death Eaters. They're deep, dark eyes seemingly peering into his soul. They're words like barbed wire, they're insults like whips across his back.

He couldn't wait.

His eyes peered open as a flash of a breeze ran through them, causing Nott to shift uncomfortably.

"What the hell was that?" Pansy grumbled, pulling her robes closer around herself.

A flash of red, and something small floated at his feet. He leant forward, inspecting it suspiciously. For all he knew, it could be a trap, with a hex, some first-year thinking he was being funny. He almost bared his teeth at the letter, before poking it hesitantly with his wand, the parchment gave no reaction, so he deemed it safe to go forward.

He plucked it up with on hand, shaking it, still suspicious, but he unfolded it, reading the words in a mumbled breath.

"_You can't come home for the Christmas Holidays. And I forbid you to see your father. Don't disgrace him with your unnatural presence._

_In regards to your grades, I must inform you how little I care. Once you start performing your normal duties, like normal humans, I might offer you a little congratulations._

_However, as me and your father have both agreed, you are not a normal human."_

There was no name signed at the bottom, and he frowned, re-reading through the letter once more, feeling a slight pang of pity for whoever had received it. The words were horribly sharp, and harsh. He received a few letter like such before, from his mother, or father. And he knew how much they cut deep. He managed to push out the feelings for himself now he was older, but when he was younger, it was a different story.

He stood, holding the letter to his side stiffly, casting a gaze across the parchment.

No one else had noticed what he was clutching, so he swiftly left the compartment, ignoring Pansys little mew of curiosity as his abrupt leaving.

He peered down the left side of the carriage, blinking, wondering where the letter had come from. Twisting around, he went to look down the right..

When he came nose-to-nose with Hermione Granger.

He jumped back in alarm, eyes narrowing, insults almost bubbling from his lips.

"What the _fuck _are you doing here, Granger?" He spat. "No one wants your mud-blood stench here!"

"I.." She stutted. "I.."

He gave her a patronising look. "What, Granger? Cat got your tongue? I feel sorry for the feline."

"Thasmahlettur." She garbled out, blushing.

"What?" He snapped, confused.

"That's my letter." She repeated, this time a bit more coherently.

Draco froze, a cold sweat come over his body. He glanced down, his thumb had smudged the top of the letter, and under closer inspection, he could just pick out 'Hermione,' under the ink.

He hand it over mechanically, unable to tear his eyes away from her. She ducked her head, taking it with a polite nod, and a 'thank you.'

He didn't hear her, he just kept staring. She lifted her head, and their eyes met.

He glanced down, to see a cut on her finger. The blood had dried, and was a dry, brown colour. He immediately remembered himself, her blood was mud. Disgusting, foul. The wound proved that.

Draco turned around, unwilling to look any further. He didn't even bother to spit another insult. He stormed into the carriage, slamming the door, without a sound.

_I felt sorry for her. _He realised. _I felt sorry for her.._

His thoughts wondered back to the wound on her finger, and he sneered. _It isn't my fault. Besides, her blood.. it's mud. _

He settled back into the seat, closing his eyes, trying to sleep away any uncertainty he had, wishing he'd never seen that letter.

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

She watched him rush away with a heavy heart, and found herself unable to move. Her legs shook slightly, and a blush of shame crept into her cheeks, and she felt a hot sting of tears prickle at her.

_He's seen it. He's seen what my mother thinks of me. _She gasped, her breathing unsteady. _He'll bully me even more now.. I know it... Stupid.._

She spun around, suddenly finding a sheer amount of inspiration to move. She strode powerfully back to her carriage, collapsing on the train seat with a strangled sob.

"Hermione?" Both boys gasp, and she'd almost forget they were in there with her.

She went to croak an answer, but it stuck in her throat, and she simply shook her head.

"What happened?" Ron asked gently, and she looked up. The red-heads face was next to hers, and was laced with concern, and fear for her. Harry was pacing, his eyes narrowed, angry.

"Nothing.." She mumbled out, trying to bring herself together, for her boys.

"Nothing?" Harry growled. "Nothing? You come in her, crying your eyes out, body shaking like you've had the shock of your life, and you say _nothing?"_

"Nothing.." She repeated. "Please, drop it."

Ron moved next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders, he exchanged a knowing look with her, when she returned.

She was lying, of course. Ron thought her mood came from her parents, which wasn't entirely true, but it was better than nothing.

Harry must of caught the look between them, because he narrowed his eyes in suspicion, before recollecting his cool, calm composure.

"If there's anything wrong." He said slowly. "You'll tell us?"

"I will."

"Say, Hermione." Ron spoke softly from beside her. "What's this?"

He pointed at the letter she still clutched in her hand, and she gulped. Hastily pushing it into her pocket, she shook her head.

"_Nothing." _She laughed weakly.

"If it's nothing, you won't mind us seeing it." Harry blinked at her, extending a hand forwards.

"No." She almost spat, and she cringed. "No, it's nothing. Please, you shouldn't worry about it."

"Well, we are worrying about it." Harry replied in a calm tone, apparently in control of his temper. "Are you hiding anything?" He asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not." She waved her hand dismissively. "I have no reason to."

"Then why can't we see it?" He countered.

"Because it's personal." She smiled lightly, it wasn't a complete lie, it was personal.

"We won't judge you, whatever it is." Came Rons soft voice from beside her. "We just want to know."

"Its none of your business." She suddenly felt her patience diminish.

"_You _are our business." Harry snapped, apparently, he was loosing it to.

"Drop it!" She sighed. "This is getting no were, just leave it."

Harry closed his eyes, rubbing his temples.

"Fine."

* * *

><p><strong>I gotta go to bed. I shouldn't be awake. XD I'm gonna proof-read this quick, so they'll probably be mistakes.<strong>

**This chapter is short, and I'll probably rewrite it- I just wanted to update. I haven't in a while.**

**As always, please review.**

**-Kawi x**


	10. Next To That

As the train came to a stop, Hermione Granger jolted awake.

Her vision remained mostly blurred for a few moments, before she attempted to blink away the sleep from her eyes. It took a few seconds, but she felt her physical form and soul return once more.

She ran her hands through her hair, her fingers catching in the frizzy knots that curled around her face- she hadn't bothered to do much with it on the last day. She barely saw a point. She'd been trapped on a stuffy train all day, and then would be bundled away to the Weasleys. She'd simply be wasting energy.

Her memory twisted and turned for a while, before it returned to her with a force.

And it hit hard.

Desperately pushing back her mind in an attempt to block it out, she reached to her pocket, the crumpled and smudged letter was still laying loyally in her pocket.

She knew she should really throw it away; keeping it on her person would only bring her down.

But her fingers clenched around the parchment protectively. The thought of ridding herself of it suddenly sent a pang of fear through her heart, and she knew she wouldn't be able to bring herself to do it.

She stepped from the scarlet train with Harry and Ron close behind her, Crookshanks twisting around her ankle, purring. She took a glance around, taking in her surroundings. Children trying to control their owls, others having trouble pulling their trunks and luggage- some fretting about loosing things, or leaving their possessions back at the castle, a few running back to pick up their coats and jackets they had left in the massive vehicle.

Parents embraced their children closely, pulling them into a hug that swept most of them off their feet. She saw a mother so happy to see her little daughter she was actually crying.

"- We'll make your favourite dinner tonight!" Came a whisper from behind her, and she very almost turned around.

"Thanks, Mum!" Replied a feminine voice, and the sound of scraping skin signalled that whoever it was, they had connected hands.

_Did mother ever remember my favourite meal? _She thought bitterly. _Do I have one? She didn't even bother to reinforce basic child-like habits.. _

She knew she should shake the thoughts from her mind, and keep herself from thinking such a way, but this time..

_Why didn't she? Is there something wrong with me? I try my hardest.._

"Oh, Hermione dear!" Came a motherly voice, and her heart skipped a couple of beats.

She turned around, immediately being engulfed into a pair of arms, feeling her body being pressed against another.

Her eyes flashed open, and her heart dropped.

Of course, she didn't really expect it to be her mother. Only a fool would really ever muse that. But.. it didn't manage to get rid of the empty feeling threatening to invade Hermiones mindset.

"Mrs Weasley" She smiled pleasantly, returning the embrace with as much positive energy as she could, but she couldn't seem to fuel any energy into her arms, and they must of felt very limp.

"Tired, dear?" Mrs Weasley grinned at her, gently placing a warm, comforting hand on the younger witches cheek. "No worries!" She clapped her hand, before darting forward to pull Ron into a rib-crushing hug as he began to approach her.

"Plenty of time to sleep when we arrive at home!" Mrs Weasley shouted over her shoulder.

Hermione nodded, allowing the mother to tend to her child, smirking slightly at she began to point out the fact that his teeth where filthy with sweets.

"How are we getting home?"

Ginnys voice came from behind her, and Hermione very almost fell from her skin in fright, placing a shaking hand on her chest, Hermione closed her eyes, breathing heavily.

"Dammit, Gin." She laughed shakily.

Ginny shrugged- the redhead was still a bit bitter towards Hermione. The incident in the main hall stuck with Ginny, and Hermione knew that wasn't good.

But they had situations like this before, some much worse, and Hermione and Ginny always pulled through; they weren't ones to stay fighting.

"Some muggle cars." Mrs Weasley waved her hand, her gaze lingering slightly on Harry, who still had a bit of blush on his cheeks from when he'd been shouting at her.

"Been busy, Harry?" Ginny winked at him.

"Not really." Harry replied cooly, his voice low, and lacked any severe amount of emotion. His eyes were slightly narrowed, his eyes continuously flicking towards Hermione.

Ginny followed his gaze, and found Hermione looking very awkward.

Ginny raised her eyebrows, giving her a _I-Thought-You-Had-Standards _look, but Hermione shrugged, returning her look with a frown.

"Muggle cars?" Rons voice was suddenly very loud. "How are we supposed to fit in them?"

"Muggle cars with enchantments." Mrs Weasley sighed. "Now, hurry up. It really is freezing here."

She cast one more disapproving look at Harry, before leading them away.

* * *

><p>The trip was a fast one, albeit unpleasant. A single, gruff wizard from the Ministry had decided to escort them. While they all piled into the back, feeling very uncomfortable indeed, the man who had dubbed himself 'Wolfskin' lounged.. well.. not happily, seeing as he sat with the most depressed scowl on his face, but he seemed rather happy to take up almost 3 seats in the front, despite the fact he was a skinny little git.<p>

And, of course, Hermione had the worst seat. She ended up having to actually sit on Rons lap, much to her sheer embarrassment.

Ron didn't seem to keen on it either, blatantly remembering the last time he had attempt to have her this way.

She crossed her arms and glared out the window, pretty certain the sheer amount of anger radiating from her could be felt for miles.

"Stop looking so sour." Came a whisper close to her ear, and she whipped around, locking eyes with Ron.

"Excuse me?"

A bump in the road made them jostle awkwardly, and she had to grab his shoulders in an attempt not to fall backwards, but as soon as she was okay once more, she released her grip swiftly.

"You know what I mean." He whispered back, and she rewarded his attempt at hitting on her with a mouthful of her hair.

Leaning back, she grinned, very aware that she was crushing Ron.

"Hermione, when was the last time you ate?"

She twisted around, leaning forward, arching an eyebrow at Ron. "Why?"

"You're skinnier than usual." He sighed.

She felt her cheeks redden. "I'm eating normally." She lied.

Of course, that wasn't entirely true, but she wasn't a complete liar, either. She had been eating. Just.. not at much. She went days where she convinced herself that she didn't _need _to eat, the days when she managed to ignore the grumbling in her stomach.

But, then she had days when she gave in. The pain in her belly proving to much, and she'd eat. She'd eat a lot.

She didn't think she'd lost weight; a simple change in her routine shouldn't do that. If anything, she was eating _more._

"'Mione. Move."

"Mmm?"

"We're here, Hermione."

She looked up at the window, and realised they had arrived at the burrow. Not only that, but the entire Weasley family had already exited the vehicle, along with Wolfskin and their driver, leaving only her, spread out in Rons lap, and him grinning widely.

A raging blush suddenly bloomed on her cheeks, and she scrambled very ungracefully to escape this scene. Her dozing off and thinking about her eating patterns had lead to her dignity getting a stab. "Sorry!" She mumbled, clambering from the vehicle with a sigh.

Ginny gave her a confused like, and Hermione couldn't blame her. Ginny was under the loose impression that Hermione had done something with Harry, and now she was, what could very easily be perceived as, flirting with her brother.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders, skulking to the back of the group.

* * *

><p>Hermione received another letter that night.<p>

Her hands shakily held the paper, her eyes drooping from the lack of sleep, and she mumbled it out loud, trying to hold back the hiccups of tears.

_I must say, Hermione. I'm shocked to see you didn't try to crawl back and beg to stay with me- Really._

_This stupid little owl keeps turning up, and won't leave until it gets a letter, so here, have your letter._

_And take your skanky little magical thing with you- I don't care much for birds. Especially for this one._

_Work your freakish magic on this animal; I don't want it returning any-more. And if you succeed, then maybe your unnatural deformity may prove to have use. _

_Feel free to reply; I won't reply- But I know your pathetic, tiny little mind might thrive at the prospect of awaiting a letter._

Like the first time, she found it hard to take it in. It was as if this letter wasn't meant for her; like it was never meant for her. The more she read it, the more convinced she was that this just wasn't hers.

But of course, it was.

She absent-mindedly leant down, running a soft fingertip across the underside of her wrist, stopping as she felt a rough patch.

She looked down, seeing a dark brown scab.

_From the owl. _She realised. _When I got the first letter._

She ran her fingers over it again, slightly amused at how it felt. When she brushed it one side, it was rough, prickling at the edges, but the other way was nothing short of smooth, and sleek.

She turned her finger slightly, so her nail dragged turned up the sides of it, sending small pricks of pain running up her arm.

She cast a analytic glance over it, realising that with all her musing of the injury she had almost removed the majority of it. The dead skin hung loosely from it.

_No use leaving it like that. _She thought. _It would just get caught on something._

Grasping the scab between two fingers, she tugged at it gently, immediately recoiling at the sharp pang of pain that tore through her.

"Gahh." She snapped, shaking her arm, as if trying to shake off the pain.

She resumed her previous position, grasping it once more, closing her eyes.

_Ignore the pain. _She told herself. _Just get this over and done with. _

And she tore it from her skin.

Tears prickled in her eyes as a spasm of heat ran over the area, and she held back a grunt of pain.

She peeked through her eyes, her whole body screaming in reluctance, and she let out a faint gasp at what she saw.

Blood pooled from the seemingly tiny open wound, coming in thick, gushing waves, the liquid hot and relentless, dripping and spilling onto the white sheets beneath her.

She grimaced slightly, feeling queasy, pulling her wand and mumbling hushed spells to reduce the blood.

After her wandwork, a small, red-raw injury remained, and she was exhausted. Her eyelids began to droop, and she wiled them to stay open, desperate to raise her wand and remove all traces of it, but her body had other ideas.

"Nuh.." She managed to grumble out, but her head fell to her pillow, and her eye lids finally dropped, seemingly gluing themselves shut.

"Not finished.." She tried to say, but it was merely a breath.

Sleep was merciful, Sleep took her into its embrace.

* * *

><p>"Get up, 'mione!"<p>

"Yeah, move it, lazy."

"Don't call her lazy; that's just plain rude!"

"Really, Ron. I thought you'd have more respect for the woman you plan on bedding."

"WHAT!"

"Oh, we can see the way you look at her.."

"We can see the way you smile.."

The voices suddenly joined, singing, "Rejoice, my dear son, and make a pretty child!"

There was a scuffle, and muffled laughter entered the air.

Hermione opened her eyes slowly, blinking. "Ron?" She asked, feeling energy course into her limbs, and she pulled herself forward.

"I never pegged you as one to sleep so scandalously, Hermione."

Fear shot through her as she heard Freds voice, and she gasped, suddenly bringing her blankets further around herself. She slept in a small, blue lacy bra, with a pair of light-blue shorts hanging from her thighs rather unflatteringly; they were too big for her, she had kept them as a present from Viktor Krum in fourth year. Apparently he had a thing for shorts.

"I.. I-.. Get out!" She blushed, throwing a pillow into the twins face.

"You look very nice." George winked, before exiting the room, Fred doing the same.

"Why did you let them in here?" She sighed, sending an accusing glance at Ron, who'd taken a seat at the foot of her bed.

He shrugged, leaning back. "How was I to know you slept basically naked?"

"I'm not sleeping naked!"

"You're not exactly dressed, either." He countered, casting an almost critical glance over her.

Feeling very vulnerable and self-conscious, she pulled herself out of her bed, moving towards her wardrobe, running her hands against the layers of clothes within. Her hand immediately found what she would normally wear, a plain, long sleeved grey shirt, but she gave it a second look this time. It was plain, boring, and covered up almost every part of her. It looked very..

She couldn't think of the word. _Nerdy? _She considered. _Boring?_

Her hands skimmed on through, opting for a red short sleeved shirt with golden stripes etched on the sides.

She pulled it over her head, the fresh fabric feeling refreshing on her skin; she hadn't worn this shirt yet. Brought on a whim and left to collect dust.

She grabbed a pair of plain jeans and turned to raise an eyebrow at Ron.

"Out." She ordered.

"But.."

She glared at him, and he took the hint, pulling himself up, stretching, before exiting the room and leaving Hermione by herself.

She removed her shorts, and her underwear, leaning towards to pull out the draw that was built into the bed, picking out a pair of plain back knickers, pulling them over her legs swiftly, her fingers briefly stroked her womanhood, and she felt a slight tickle of pleasure run through her.

She paused, wondering..

_No. _She thought firmly. _There isn't even a lock on the door. Who knows who could walk in? _

She continued getting changed, pulling on her jeans slowly, realising she'd have to shave her legs soon.

_I'll take a shower later on. _She decided. Besides, that meant she'd once more be able to submit to the calming embrace of the cold water that would rain onto her.

She pushed open the door of her bedroom, pausing to glance over the empty corridor.

_Ron and that must of gone down for breakfast. _She realised, placing a hand on the banister sliding her palm across as it as she descend, cringing lightly at the thin layer of dust that began to cover her hand. The burrow may of never been the cleanest of places, and she knew that, but she still felt a bit...

Her house had always been clean; her mother had seen to that. Everything had a place, and nothing was to be moved from it. On the rare occasion that a possession must be removed from its normal living quarters, it must be returned as fast as possible, with not even a speck of imperfection left on it.

She liked it that way; it was organised, secure. It was safe. It was _home. _

To busy thinking, Hermione missed the last step of the stairs, sending her tumbling forward. Her hands stuck out, grasping desperately at anything around her, managing to close her fingers around one of the wooden beams holding up the stairs banisters, and kept her grip on that- causing her body to swing slightly, her ribs colliding with the wall.

Her breath was pushed out of her, and she saw stars, but she managed to hold back her scream of shock, not wanting anyone to see her in such a undignified state.

"Hermione?"

Rons voice was a call, a summon. Not a 'talking to' voice. He still presumed she was upstairs, getting changed, not almost-breaking her neck while thinking about things she _really _shouldn't be thinking about.

She didn't answer at first, pulling herself up, brushing herself down. She reached instinctively to her pockets for her wand, but it wasn't there. She'd left it by the side of her bed.

To lazy to go back and get it, she stepped forward, pushing open the kitchens door with a semi fake smile on her face.

"Morning." She smiled at the group around the table.

Ron was sitting nearest to her, a cup of tea in his hands, feet resting against the large table that stood loyally in the middle of the room. Next to him was Harry, elbows resting on the table, chewing thoughtfully on a piece of toast. Ginny was next to him, absently-mindedly sipping a glass of milk, her hands playing with strands of her vibrant red hair that was now so long it rested against her breasts.

Fred and George was sitting cross legged on the floor, passing between them a glass of what look liked firewhisky, littered around them small cups of milk, tea, coffee, and few others she didn't recognise. As she observed them, she saw Fred place the milk in with the firewhisky and drink it, shrugging his shoulders. George took it back, pouring the tea in, and almost throwing up from the taste of it.

Mrs Weasley stood hunched over her oven, the smell of bacon and eggs reaching Hermiones nose gradually, smoke rising from the food to signify that something was burning.

Only Ron and Harry turned to see her, and they both returned her smile politely. "Morning."

She nodded, taking a seat next to Harry, leaning over to pinch a bit of his toast he'd left on his plate. He didn't seem to mind, so she took a small nibble of it.

"You okay, Hermione?"

Harrys small talk was welcomed, and she responded with as much enthusiasm as she could.

"I'm good. Yourself?"

Harry made a rough nose in his throat to indicate he was fine, before turning the page of his paper.

The smell of fresh cooking suddenly met Hermiones nose, and Molly Weasley leant over, placing a few sausages onto the plate infront of them.

She went to reach for one, but Harry suddenly grabbed her shoulder.

"Harry?" She blinked, looking confused.

His expression turned grave, and he stood, not releasing his grip on her shoulder. "Upstairs." He ordered her.

"You can't just tell me-.."

"Move." His voice was low, almost a growl.

Fear stabbed at her heart, but she obeyed, ignoring the looks of confusion everyone gave her.

She walked up the stairs slowly, reluctant to face whatever Harry was about to throw at her, dragging her feet, she closed her eyes.

_No, no, no. What did I do wrong? Have I done something wrong?_

Her stomach gave unhealthy flips, and she finally go to the top of the stairs, making for her room, Harry followed her closely.

A blush crept up her neck as she realised half her clothes were strewn across the floor, and she kicked them away, but Harry didn't seem to care. His eyes were narrowed.

_He's going to demand to see the letter. _She realised, heart dropping. _I knew it.. Why did I bring him up here? Stupid.._

"Show me your wrist."

His voice brought her back, and she blinked in confusion.

"Your wrist, Hermione."

She stuck out her wrist, giving him a quizzical look, running her own gaze across her skin, before finding..

_Oh._

"And what the hell is this?" He suddenly snarled, grabbing her wrist forcefully, glaring at the raw wound from where she had removed the scab. Dried blood smudged around it where it had opened up doing the night.

She let out a soft laugh. "It was an owl bite." She told him. "One of the school owls. The scab came off last night."

He didn't look convinced, he cast his gaze over to her bedsheets. The blood from last night was still there.

_I fell asleep before I could clean it off. _She realised. _Shit._

She felt bad for swearing; even if it was just in her mind.

"I was tired last night." She explained, although her arguments were true, they sounded weak. "I fell asleep before I could clean the blood from the sheets."

She couldn't help but be confused, what did he think the blood and the wound had come from?

"Really, Hermione?"

"Yes!" She snapped impatiently, standing up. Her stomach gave a audible grumble. A little bite of toast was all she had in well over 24 hours.

"Go eat something." He almost growled at her. He didn't look at her, slamming the door behind him.

She collapsed on her bed, feeling emotionally drained. She looked down at her wrist, and then exhaled.

_Stupid owl. _She thought bitterly. _It brought bad news, and left bad news._

She reached for her wand, tapping the wound. It closed, leaving a faint scar.

She wanted to remove the little white mark it had left, but she knew she couldn't. It was another tradition of her family. They always preached about how scars were a prize from their past. A badge of honour, almost. To prove how strong you could be.

Her mother had a lot of scars. Hermione never knew why.

She cleaned her bedsheets, and fell back, laying on her back. His outburst left her confused. She couldn't think why he had reacted in such a way, and she doubted she'd ever find out. Harry was like that. He never really explained his outburst like that unless it held some importance. He let them fester inside. She'd never been able to shake the habit from him.

She looked down, realising her stomach bulged slightly, and she felt a bit repulsed. _Ginny _had a flat stomach. _Cho Chang _had always had a flat stomach, as did _Lavender._

Her stomach complained noisily about its hunger, but she ignored it, knowing it was out of gluttony. Her stomach looked to big to be hungry.

She rolled over, attempting to sleep away her feelings.

* * *

><p><strong>Haaaaa. This took a while, sorry. But this is quite long, and I'm just gonna proof-read it..<strong>

**Hurr. So I hope you like it. I'll try to get another chapter out tomorrow, depending how I feel. Please remember to review, guys. It really inspires me to write more!**

**Also, this website is a bit annoying, where it likes to randomly delete words. |: So if you see any incomplete sentences, rest assured its not me being an idiot, it's the website. **

**-Kali**

**xx**


	11. Can't Change What You Choose

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, boy!"

The commanding voice crackled against his ears, and Draco let out a small whimper, looking up, locking eyes with his father. Long, blonde hair fell at Lucius shoulders, gleaming lightly as the moon shone through one of the paned windows that stood loyally in his fathers study. The grey eyes that glared back at him, so very much like Dracos, appeared to be daring Draco to object.

"Yes, Father." He mumbled, hunching slightly, trying to make himself as small as possible, less of a target. He moved a hand to pull his robes closer to him, feeling rather out of place, this was one of the rare times he had been allowed into one of his Fathers private rooms, and he felt very scruffy, and undeserving.

"Really.." Lucius growled, turning his back on his son swiftly, striding towards the centre of the room. A lone desk stood almost in a lonely fashion. The top of the wooden table were filled with letters, ink and parchment. A single, black raven sat in a small, golden cage in the middle, fixing its beady bright-blue eye on the scene unfolding around it. "It's as if you've forgotten how to act around me!"

"I'm sorry.." Draco sighed again. "Father, please. I'm sorry."

"You'll be more than sorry in a second! Stop grovelling like a filthy child!"

Draco didn't reply, simply casting his gaze down to the floor.

"Stupid child.." His father began to rant, his grip on the table in-front of him turning his knuckles white. "Stupid.. Stupid.."

With a snarl, he threw the table against the wall, paper, quills and ink scattering across the room.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" A wand was pressed harshly against Dracos throat.

"Father.. give him time.." He dared to speak, his voice a breath. "He's done this before.."

"SHUT UP!"

A sudden blow to his cheek sent Draco to his knees, pain blossoming over his face, as another blow was delivered.

"Stupid child.. The lord.."

_The lord.. _

The lord hadn't been pleased. Not like he ever really _was, _but..

Desperately trying to block out his fathers beatings, he forced his eyes shut, letting his body drift off into the memory.

"_My lord.. I have performed your wishes.. Draco is here."_

"_Bring him."_

_Without a word, Draco felt strong arms grip his shoulders, and he was shoved towards a shadow which resided in a large throne-like chair. Biting his tongue, he held back a whimper. _

"_Draco?" Came a soft, yet powerful voice._

"_My lord." Draco bowed his head, he knew what to do. His father had drilled it into him since he was born. "It is a honour to be in your presence."_

_The dark lord chuckled, sitting up straighter. "Stop repeating words Lucius has placed in your mouth, boy. I know you mean none of that. Tell me, Young Draco, how do you really feel?"_

_Draco opened his mouth, then closed it. Looking to his father for support._

"_No, Draco. Tell me. Honestly."_

"_I.." He gulped, trying to bite back his fear. "I.. I am honoured to be in your presence, Sir."_

"_Voldermort can smell a liar, Draco."_

"_I feel vulnerable!" He suddenly burst out, "I'm worrying if I'll be good enough to serve you; I hope with every bone in my body that you'll accept me."_

_A soft chuckle. And the sound of fingers being drawn across wood._

"_He is honest." Voldermort clicked his tongue. "Yet.. he is not ready to serve."_

"_M-.. My-.. My l-.. Lord?"Lucius gasped, falling to his knees. "Please.. my son is willing to lay his life down for you!"_

"_Perhaps." The Dark Lords voice became edged, as if bored of the situation. "Yet, his heart is not yet cold enough to kill others. It is very well dying for someone, but killing for them is different."_

_Another chuckle, and Voldermort rose, not bothering to gaze at the two Malfoys behind him._

"_Draco will serve me in time. But.. for now. He must be taught how to act like his own."_

"_Make the boy numb, Lucius. Make him numb."_

_And then The Dark Lord left without a word._

Well, Draco was feeling pretty numb right now. Infact, he wasn't even sure he felt numb. As his mind came back to him, his stomach turned, as if feeling the force of gravity for the first time in a while. He was suddenly hyper-aware of the floor beneath him, and he realised how cold and unforgiving the floorboards were.

His father began to get bored of repetitively striking his son, it seemed, and a slight hum and absence of fresh pain told him that Lucius Malfoy was starting to slowly pack up the desk he had tipped in his anger, working to restore the room to normal.

Draco pulled himself up, shuddering at the harsh breeze that suddenly caught his bruised skin. He felt slight tears prickle in his eyes. His mouth was turned down in a frown, and he hugged his arms to his chest for self-comfort.

Then Draco remembered himself.

Wiping at his eyes, he returned his mouth to the arrogant smirk. He pulled himself to his feet, and shoved his arms into his pockets.

* * *

><p><em>And a mask is worn by the dancer,<em>

_The dancer that'll only sing at night,_

_The mask is torn and made of plaster,_

_But it won't be removed without a fight._

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

After falling to asleep once more in the morning, Hermione was barely surprised as she prised her eyes open to find moon light streaking through her windows. Bringing her hands in an attempt to clear her vision, she swung her legs off the side of her bed, stretching.

Running a hand through her tangled hair, she grimaced, feeling the grease taint her fingers. It hung limply at her side, and she repressed a shudder at how unclean she felt.

Jumping lightly from her bed, she crinkled in her toes slightly, the floor beneath her freezing cold. Casting a glance around her tiny room, she breathed as sigh of relief as Crookshanks continued to snooze quietly in the corner. She did _not _want her cat waking up the entire house just because she wanted a midnight shower.

Pulling her shirt over her head, and stepping from her shorts and underwear, she padded towards the corridor, making a quick dash for the bathroom door. It was directly opposite her room, and she moved so fast she was sure no one could of seen her.

Except..

"_Ginny! Stop running around the house at night and go to bed!"_

A grumbled moan came from the room next to her, and Hermione jumped at the sound.

"_I'm not! I'm still in bed! It was probably Crookshanks, Mum!"_

Silence.

Waving her wand which she had taken with her, she mumbled a quick silencing spell, knowing that the sound of running water would surely arouse peoples suspicions. Once assured that she could enjoy her shower as she pleased, she stepped in.

Flicking with the dial a couple of times, she set it as cold as she could, basking briefly in the cold air that whisked around her, before finally submerging under the cold spits of water.

And she felt.. _nothing._

Well, not nothing. But she didn't feel as relived as she normally did. She felt the bite of the cold water, and her whole body began to shudder angrily. She ducked her head, letting out a quiet whimper. The feeling was simply uncomfortable.

She tried to bear it as long as she could, holding the underside of her arm towards the freezing water, letting it clean and flick away at the wound. The drops of water gently working to prise open the scab once more, but the blood it produced was simply dripped away, and there was merely a few drops of scarlet liquid that stained her skin.

But her body couldn't handle the trembles any more, and she reluctantly turned up the heat.

After washing her hair a couple of times to free herself of the feeling of unclean, she ran her conjured razor across her legs and armpits, letting her hand gently stroke the smooth skin, watching as the stubbly hairs ran down the drain.

Stretching her arms out, she cast a critical glance down at them.

_Ginny _always shaved her arms.

With a quick jolt of memory, she remembered when she'd had a small scuffle with Pansy Parkinson from Slytherin.. the feeling of grabbing on to the girls arms in an attempt to get her grubby hands off her..

Her arms had been smooth. _Pansy _shaved her arms; and Parkinson always had boys panting after her.

She lifted her hand cautiously, feeling slightly confused at the foreign action she was about to perform.

But, it was just as easy as it looked. The hair from her arms fell swiftly, and Hermione had to curse herself slightly for worrying so much.

After making sure she had every last bit even and smooth, she ran a hand down her stomach. Grimacing as she found it curving outwards. Her flat stomach had disappeared. Leaving her feeling very, very filthy.

Of course, she didn't care about weight on others. Fat nor thin, people could still be nice or nasty. But she had always prided herself on being quite slim. It was one of the rare points of herself she was proud of.

But now..

She shut off the water, pressing her feet onto the cold, tiled floor. Leaning down, she wrapped a towel around herself, snuggling herself in the rich, soft and fluffy red fabric.

Taking one more glance at the room, making sure all traces of her midnight wash had been removed, she shut off the light, and closed the door behind her.

* * *

><p>Hermione twisted in her bed, gasping.<p>

"_Who are you?" She spat out, her wrists and ankles suddenly being compressed and held tight. "Tell me!"_

_There was no response, just a dark chuckle. A harsh weight suddenly smacked her on the chest, the pain lingering just where her heart was._

"_Please! Te-.." Her voice was cut off as a grey hand caught her throat, pressing the nail of its thumb into her soft flesh._

"_Who am I?" The voice was neutral, blank, almost dead. _

"_Yhgh.." Hermione tried to respond, but her whole body suddenly shuddered, and she felt the feeling she had in her limbs slowly diminish._

Sweat dripped from her shaking body, and Hermiones hand twitched, her curling fingers causing her nails to dig into the soft flesh of her palm.

_There was silence for a while, and she felt her eyes droop shut, all her energy draining._

"_I hurm tchoo."_

_She shook her head, suddenly the pressure on her throat diminished. _

"_I don't understand!" She wheezed out. But that final use of her voice sent her body into spirals, and she felt her grip on the world loosen._

"_Sleep." The voice came again, yet it was further away; no longer crystal clear._

_She obeyed the voice._

Hermione awoke with a start.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione!" Fred poked his head into her room, throwing at her a fluffy Santa hat. She looked at it with confusion, before looking up again to catch Freds parting words.

"Come on, Hermione!"

She pushed herself up, pulling on random pieces of clothing, her stomach seemingly clenching with dread at the thought of going downstairs. She glanced around, a strong feeling of paranoia setting in.

Rubbing her temples, she had a pinching feeling that she had forgotten something. Her whole body seemed to ache with exhaustion, and her palms ached.

_A bad dream? _She thought with a sigh. _Probably._

A tap at the window made her jump from skin, and she placed a hand on her heart, catching her breath.

The small owl that had given her the wound on her wrist was desperately trying to claw its way into her room, and she felt her heart drop.

_I won't let mother ruin Christmas. I won't. This is a day for me to be happy._

Opening the window, she let the fluttering bird in. Pressing her fingers to its chest, she stroked it gently, trying not to let her anger out.

_Don't shoot the messenger. _She reminded herself quietly.

The owl hooted happily and took flight once more, squeezing its way out of the window.

"Hermione!" Ron called her name, and there was a sound of lightness in it, a hidden laugh.

A smile crept up her lips, and she couldn't resist her heart skipping a couple of beats.

It _was _Christmas, after all. She had every right to be happy.

Tossing the parchment onto her bed, she dashed down the stairs, eager to find something to lift her spirits.

* * *

><p>Christmas day was a flurry of presents, laughter and firewhiskey.<p>

If the twins weren't trying to slip some joke-product of some sort into their drinks, Ron was falling out of his chair. If Ginny wasn't telling a terrible joke which everyone would pretend to laugh at, Arthur Weasley would be trying to put some Muggle decorations on the Christmas tree.

Snuggling down in her brand new jumper that was a stormy-grey colour with a knitted book on the front, she picked at the dinner infront of her without much interest. She didn't want to show any rudeness towards Molly, and merlin, the food was wonderful..

But a niggling thought at the back of her head held her in a ice-cold grip.

_I must not eat. I must not eat. I must not eat._

Pretending to be very interested in what Ginny was saying, she managed to talk her way out of eating the majority of her meal, mumbling a couple of spells when no one was looking at her to vanish a few pieces of turkey, or to remove a couple of sprouts from her plate.

Soon, people eventually began to retire to their rooms, and Hermione was all to willing to follow them. Tiredness creeping into her eyelids, and having to keep up a bit of façade was working her nerves.

"Come down for another drink in a few minutes, Hermione?" Ron smiled at her clumsily, and she chuckled lightly, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead.

"Of course."

She pulled herself up the stairs, feeling a bit tipsy herself, but she was still composed. Fred and George, however, had to be put outside to get some cold air in an attempt to sober them up, and for the safety of others. They'd gotten so drunk together they kept setting fire to things with their magic accidentally.

She pushed open the door of her bedroom, flicking the light switch to enlighten the room. She was still grinning and felt rather giddy after the long day.

A single piece of parchment lay on her bed.

She glanced down at it in confusion, completely unaware of where it came from. She picked it up, running her eyes across the neat handwriting.

**Hello, Sweetie!**

**It's your dear old dad here, and I just wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas! I'm really sorry you didn't get to come and see me this winter holidays, but I promise I'll make it up to you somehow. I would of invited you.. but I'm trying to keep things fine with your Mother, and all. Even though we've broken up, I don't really want to loose her completely. I know she wouldn't take to kindly to you staying with me.**

**Please don't reply, Hunnie. I'm staying with your mother for a few nights, and if she sees a letter sent by you she won't be very happy.**

**I love you so much, and I hope you have a great time with all your friends!**

**Love,**

**Dad.**

Hermione was feeling pretty sober right now.

She put the letter down calmly, a prickling feeling of betrayal biting her.

_'Please don't reply, Hunnie. I'm staying with your mother for a few nights, and if she sees a letter sent by you she won't be very happy.'_

So that was it. Her Father had taken her Mothers side.

Hermione felt very, very alone.

Fury suddenly coursed through her veins, and she kicked out at her wardrobe.

"How.. He.." She didn't care that she was almost shouting. "How dare he! HOW DARE HE!" She pulled out her wand, sending a spell towards a shabby vase, watching as it burst into a million pieces of shattered china.

"I.. But.. How could he even think.."

The betrayal hurt her more than anything she could ever think of.

In full awareness that her Mother positively despised Hermione, her Father was trying to get back together with that _demon._

For once in her life, Hermione couldn't help but think a bit selfishly. What about _her _feelings? Could no one see how much this hurt her?

She fell back onto her bed without a word, and stuffed her head deep into her pillow, sobbing softly.

_Sleep was merciful. Sleep took her._

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter was so forced it kinda hurrrt. I'm going through a bit of writers block at the moment, which I'm trying to shake.<strong>

**Can I take the time to thank '**Iris-tPSoLC' **For their massive review! I was squealing in joy when I read it! :'D **

**Please, Review. And if they seems to be any loose ends right now, feel free to mention them in the Reviews. I have most of them planned to be tied up, but if you see any I've missed, do not hesitate to tell me of them!**

**Lots of Love :'3**

**(Also, there will be some very long Draco perspectives soon! Sorry for the sudden mass of Hermione xD )**

**-Kali xx**


	12. And Why Does This Hurt?

**Thank you for all the reviews; and sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I lost inspiration for a while.**

* * *

><p>Contrary to further belief, just because a house is large, does not make it any better on the inside.<p>

Draco shuddered, pulling his thin, satin blankets to his chin, pulling his knees against his chest in an attempt to steal some warmth from his torso.

Letting out a breath from chatting teeth, he couldn't help but whimper. His body was littered with bruises and small cuts, the aftermath of his fathers temper.

His fathers temper never failed to leave a mark; physically and mentally.

_If Theo could see me now. _He growled bitterly. _He'd realise my temper is nothing compared.._

Draco shook his head to himself. "I don't have a temper." He denied. He would never have anything that his father had. He would refuse to admit that he had anything passed down by genes from him.

"I don't.." He sighed, but his voice was weaker. His whole body was straining in frustration, and his mind was drowsy from lack of sleep. But he couldn't physically stay still enough to capture in elusive rest. His body would spasm in one way or another, and the pain would instantly bring him back to reality.

He could do nothing but lay there, like a handicapped child. He couldn't cry out, his father would hear. Which would earn him nothing more than another hit, punishment for being so weak.

He yearned for his Mother. Narcissa was always kind to her son. When Lucius wasn't around, she had cleaned him up, performed a few spells to remove the worse of the bruises.

But she wasn't hear any more. Draco didn't even know where she was. When he had inquired with his Father, Lucius had just shrugged.

Draco closed his eyes once more, reliving the memory.

"_Just tell me where Mother is." Draco sighed, avoiding direct contact with his father. _

"_Where she is meant to be." Lucius replied simply, not bothering to look up from his paper._

"_The kitchen?" Draco laughed, his flimsy joke managing to get the smallest smile from his Father._

"_Spoken like a Malfoy." Lucius smiled. "Narcissa is where she is meant to be, Draco. Do not bother me once more."_

His thoughts lingered for a while on the fact he had managed to get his father to smile. Actually _smile._ The small show of human emotion was a massive change to the normal, hard, cold composure.

It had happened a few times before, but only on morbid subjects.

Sexism. Discrimination against blood. Rape. Murder. Torture.

As much as Draco fancied himself as quite a dark bloke; he could never get his head around how his father took such pleasure in such subjects. Things like blood and sexism he could handle. Draco had a few jokes about woman and Mudbloods that got everyone laughing..

But _rape? Murder? Torture?_

Unable to muster enough energy to try to get his head around his Father sick mind, he simply cleared his mind once more, letting his eyes drift shut, attempting to steal a few hours of rest.

"Master Draco!"

Draco shifted in his bed.

"Master, please.."

The voice was loud, and intrusive. Flipping on his back, he felt a severe pain shackle him down, and his eyes were open in a instant, looking for his attacker.

"You fuck-.." His voice dyed in his throat, pain stealing away his ability to speak. Tears prickled in his eyes, and he glared at the House-Elf infront of him.

"Master Draco should not move. Master is covered in bruises." It squeaked, looking sad. "Teme is here to help Master!"

"You'll.." Draco gritted his teeth, trying to swallow away the pain. "Father will never allow."

"Master Lucius will not know!"

Without a word, the House-elf jumped on the bed, working its magic on the bruises. Soft, green orbs appeared, and snaked across the youngest Malfoys pale skin, passing over the bruises patches with soft, hissing noises.

"They're not doing anything.." Draco blinked. The purple marks remained.

"Maybe, if Master moved his arm!" Teme suggested, looking rather pleased.

Draco pulled his arm up, and swung it around a couple of times, and couldn't help but grin. Teme had done a good job.

His limb still looked tattered and bruised, yet all the pain was gone.

He looked at Teme, before planting a hand on her chest, shoving her from his bed.

"Get out." He said.

He really should of spat at the elf; or he would normally of done. But he felt slightly grateful towards the lower being.

But he wasn't going to bring himself to express his gratitude.

"Draco. Up!"

His fathers voice was demanding, harsh, cold. And he knew he had no choice but to obey. He wasn't as reluctant as when he was head-to-toe in pain, but he still felt dread grip his stomach.

_I wish I could just stay in this moment forever. _He thought bitterly. He remembered back to when the floating green orbs were healing him. _I wish I could just go back, just a couple of seconds. A couple more seconds of freedom.._

He gulped, before pulling himself out of his bed. He had slept in his robes, and with a few spells, they were clean.

Using his hands to untangle the knotted, almost-ice coloured hair on top of his head, he breathed slowly, in and out. Savouring the last few moments he had alone.

"Coming, Farther!" He called, trying to keep his voice as strong as he could. He knew yelling out and telling him of his coming presence would buy him a little more time. Basic psychology, his father would reset his subconscious timing of his son when he heard it; measure instead from the time when Draco called down, instead of when he had called up.

Deciding he had done his best to make himself presentable on such a short time notice, he pushed open his chamber door gently, peeking out, paranoia setting him on edge. Once sure that the corridor was deserted, he set upon his face his normal smirk.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, and kept his head slightly bowed.

* * *

><p><em>So put on your mask,<em>

_And hide the shame,_

_Carry with those little tasks,_

_Carry with you blame._

* * *

><p>"Duck, Draco!"<p>

He threw himself to his haunches almost instantly, before rolling to his stomach, flattening himself against the floor.

A disproving tut filled the room, and the sound of spells being cast ceased.

"I said duck, not throw yourself to the floor like a worm!" Lucius snarled, his mouth turned down in a disappointed thrown.

"Same thing." Draco grumbled back, dusting the dirt from his robes, glaring back at his father with venom. Normally, he'd hold his temper in situations like this. But they'd been at it _all _dam day. His chest was heaving with exhaustion, and he was tired of being told he was doing it wrong.

"If you want to get yourself killed.." Lucius raised his arms. "I really don't care, Draco. I'm doing this for _your _own good. NOT mine."

"I know you are. You keep reminding me."

"Remember who you're talking to, Draco!" His father spat at him, turning his back. "You have no skill for defensive spells, none. Maybe you'll do better with.."

His father closed his eyes in thought, before turning to smile at his son.

"What day is it tomorrow, Draco?" He asked curiously.

"The day?" Draco paused in thought, before remembering. "I go back to school tomorrow."

"Not any more you don't." Lucius waved his hand in dismissal. "Head to the kitchens, fetch yourself something to eat. You'll need your energy."

Draco opened his mouth to object, but his father had left the room, and a door slamming signalled that Lucius had left the Manor.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he let his shoulders hunch, and he dragged his feet towards the kitchens, not bothering to put any effort into his composure now that he was completely alone.

Opening his mouth to summon one of the House-Elfs to make himself to eat, he froze, suddenly feeling a pair of eyes on him.

Winding his fingers around his wand, he slowly drew it, not turning around just yet.. waiting..

The sound of feet against tiles..

"_Cruc-.." _The spell died in his throat, as he took In the sorry sight infront of him.

Narcissa Malfoy stood before him in tatters.

Her once-perfect emerald dress was in tatters, ripped and torn, looking heavy and large over her now-skinny frame. Her collarbone stuck out over her dirt-stained pale skin, and what looked like dry blood was caked up her arms. Her once ruby-red lips were now a dull pink, almost grey, her eyes squinted, her hair, surprisingly, was still in good condition. She walked barefoot, and her feet where to, covered in blood.

"Mother?" He gasped, striding forward to hold her. "Mother, what happened?"

Teme suddenly appeared behind Narcissa, a pair of green orbs following her.

"I am fine, Draco." Narcissa smiled kindly, holding her son in a close embrace. "Teme has helped me."

"But.. where the _hell _where you? What got you in that state in the first place?"

Narcissa let her smile turn grim, and looked away. "Don't hate him for this, son."

"Father?" He suddenly spat. "He did _this _to you? How can I not hate him?"

"I am in no pain. Teme is here for me." She spoke stiffly. "Lucius gifted Teme to me as a birthday present; therefore she is loyal to me. And I have given her instructions to never obey a word that comes from Lucius mouth."

"But why..?"

Narcissa let out a long sigh, before walking forward and seating herself on her usual spot at the dining table.

"Lucius keeps me hidden in the dungeons." She began. "Locked in one of the old cells we used to keep prisoners in. He's charmed it, of course. There is some warmth, a bed, and such. But he's almost made sure I can't escape." She paused to gesture to some of her pseudo-wounds. "The walls and bars are enchanted to harm me if I try to touch them."

"He left me with my wand, which was odd. I thought he'd take it off me. But any spell used in the area I'm in will cause me to be wounded as well."

Draco went to open his mouth to object, but his mother cut him off.

"I can't tell you why entirely your father is doing this.." Her words were slow, and Draco knew she was trying to avoid breaking a magic contract that could possibly harm her. "But.. he's trying to break you, Draco. Make you numb. He thinks the lack of a mother figure will change you."

"But.." Draco finally spoke, but stopped himself. _What if it will..?_

"Teme let out, I presume?"

Narcissa nodded, casting an affectionate glance at the House-elf. "I must go, Draco. Your father will be back soon, and I must act like I've been asleep."

His mother leant forward and hugged her son almost violently, stroking her hands through his hair. Draco didn't even care that his locks would be bloody and matted with mud at her touch, and he returned her embrace with double the feelings.

His mother kissed him gently on the forehead, before turning her back swiftly on him.

"Stay strong, Son."

And then she left, without a word. Teme walking behind her, her orbs ridding the floor of the mud that had been dragged in.

Draco felt himself fall to his knees as his Mother left him, and hot tears prickled in his eyes, and this time, he didn't hold back.

"What the hell have I done, to deserve this?" He spat bitterly. "I only wanted to serve the winning team. Why does it have to _hurt _so much?"

Ignoring the fact he was supposed to be eating, he silently dragged himself back to his chambers, casting a critical glance over his room.

His bed-sheets were a rich, deep emerald, a hissing serpent with its fangs bared was printed upon his blankets, and he suppressed a grin. He'd has those blankets since he'd been young, a present from his mother. As he grew in size, a charm on them had grown to accommodate him. He had little possessions, he never saw any need in them. And apart from the odd book strewn across the floor, his room was rather bare.

His father never let him hold onto items for more than a few days. Anything he brought, or came across, would be removed. He never dared to ask why.. but he'd been allowed his bedsheets. That had always remained.

He threw himself onto his bed, grabbing the blankets and bawling them around him.

Sleep was merciful, sleep shared its presence with him.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm so tired.<strong>

**Enjoy the chapter, please review. Sorry for it being so short.**

**Night guys.**

**-Kawi xx**


	13. Never?

The trip back to Hogwarts was marginally uneventful for Hermione, she slept most of the journey away, although a creeping voice in the back of her head was telling her that she was starting to begin a messed up sleeping pattern, she dismissed it, yearning for a few hours of peace.

Harry and Ron had been more than happy to let her; they had other things on their mind. Hermione had given Harry a Quiditch book for Christmas, and him and Ron were literally _obsessed _with it. Hermione was all for appreciation of a good book.. but there's only so much you can read about flying around on a broom..

They gently poked her awake when the train halted, and she yawned, stretching her arms. She watched with a flicker of annoyance as Harrys eyes darted towards her wrist, narrowing them with suspicion.

The mark the owl had given her was gone now, leaving behind a shiny white scar, which was a bit red and upraised at the edges where she had been leaning awkwardly against the seats. The imperfection was tiny, and was only visible if you knew where to look.

Which of course, Harry did.

"Owl bite." She almost spat at him in a whisper as she passed him, but he didn't seem to mind about her tone, or he didn't show it. His expression was back to the cool, calm composure, and he simply nodded at her.

"C'mon, 'Mione.."

* * *

><p>The train was late, causing dinner to be a rushed affair- the courses disappearing faster than usual, causing a couple of people to have very filthy hands, reaching for chips ended them with fingers caked with pie, and a few shouts at their house-mates for ruining a good meal.<p>

But, before she knew it, the night was closing in, and when Dumbledore arose to speak, she had her bag in her hand, expecting a quick dismissal..

"Please, students. Do not rush. Remain seated."

There was a collective groan around the room, and the noise of bags being put back down, but Hermione didn't join them. Her ears almost perked up like a dog, and she narrowed her eyes in suspicion, it wasn't like Dumbledore to make a speech so late.

"The night," The headmaster began, "Is growing dark, children. So I shall not keep you so long, and I thoroughly hope that you all had a splendid break."

"I leave you with a few words tonight, but few as they be, I expect you to take them into consideration."

"I will remind you, that things are not always as we choose. And, as magical, and as powerful as we are, we cannot control ourselves entirely. The ladies amongst us, and I speak more directly to the fifth year and above, cannot change their appearance to suit every ones taste. And, at the same time, the boys and men amongst us cannot change their bare personality, and traits that make them _them."_

It was the standard speech Dumbledore gave out on occasion, it was used as almost a deterrence to bullying; reminding them to act properly, and respect everyone else.

"And remember. There is a thin line, between love, and hate. And when chosen to teeter on the edge of it, I urge you all to avoid the latter."

Dumbledore brought his hands together, and smiled. "Now, off to bed, all of you! And no getting _caught _while running around at night!"

His eyes twinkled, and he took a step back, bowing his head slightly.

Noises suddenly filled the hall, as the sound of benches being scraped across the floor almost deafened Hermione as she pulled herself from her trance the speech had put her in. Shaking her hand, she grabbed her bag, letting it rest gently in her shoulder.

"Coming, 'mione?"

She nodded at Ron, following him, but she kept her head low, Dumbledores words still ringing in her ears.

' _The ladies amongst us, and I speak more directly to the fifth year and above, cannot change their appearance to suit every ones taste..'_

She felt a surge of resentment hit her stomach, and she blinked away angry tears. She had always tried to preach that message to everyone who would mumble about her behind her back- It wasn't _her _fault, nor any girls fault she wasn't drop dead gorgeous.

She wanted nothing more than to scream it in Draco Malfoys face.

Whipping around, she realised she hadn't seem him all night; not on the train, nor in the great hall. Her eyes scanned the mass of students around her, and she fell on his familiar group, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Crabbe and Goyle..

But no Malfoy.

She looked for his platinum blonde hair, almost desperate now, a feeling of dread filling her stomach.

He wasn't there.

He'd missed the speech.

He'd be exactly the same as he always was.

_He probably wouldn't of listened to the speech anyway. _She thought sourly.

"'Mione, come on!"

* * *

><p>"<em>Don't touch me!"<em>

_She drew her wand with a gasp, her Gryffindor courage surging through her veins. _

"_I'm not going to touch you." The voice replied with a chuckle._

"_Who are you? Where are you?" She asked, moving backwards. Where she was going, she couldn't be sure. All she could see was a vast expanse of black, the only faint light coming from the left of her. _

_She made a dash for the light, but she felt herself instantly feel repulsed, her body being dragged backwards by a pair of arms._

"_Get off of me! Don't touch me!" She cried out, and the pressure on her arms suddenly dropped._

"_I didn't do that." The voice said honestly. "That was someone else."_

"_Who?" She demanded, making for the light once more._

"_You'll find out, in time." It replied simply, and the voice began to fade._

_She didn't care, all she knew was that she had to get to this light.. it was her only hope._

"_Mudblood!"_

_The voice was harsh, cold, and everywhere. It filled her nose, her ears, her mouth, her senses suddenly overwhelmed, and her head began to throb._

"_Who are you..?" She sobbed quietly, falling to her knees._

"_We've met before, and we'll meet again. I'm pretty sure I'll be there, in the end."_

_And then the light vanished, just like her courage. And she felt herself being dragged backwards._

"_Please.." She managed to breath, her throat feeling like it was being compressed._

_And then everything stopped._

* * *

><p>"Hermione?" Came a whispered voice, and she sat bolt up right, the feeling of constriction in her dream still lingering on her.<p>

"Woah, calm down." Ginny whispered, gesturing at her to be quiet. "Keep your voice down, but come to the common room. Me and some other girls are playing a game. We wanted you to join."

"But I'm tired, Gin'." She argued weakly.

"You're always tired, c'mon, 'mione. Just this once, have some fun!"

"What game..?" She sighed, swinging her legs off the side of her bed, but Ginny had already left the room, and she got no answer.

Shrugging on her thick, red dressing gown, she rubbed her eyes, feeling strangely accustom to being up at such unholy hours. After the stress of being woken up so abruptly, and her dream, she felt strangely awake.

_My sleeping pattern is ruined. _She thought moodily. She'd have to set an alarm or something if she was going to get up in time for lessons.

She silently padded down towards the Common room, following the silent giggles of feminine voices to guide her, trying to ignore the fact she was walking through complete darkness.

_What if some one grabs me? _She thought suddenly, and she wrapped her arms around herself. _What if something bites at my legs and drags me down.. puts a hand over my mouth so I can't scream. They'd drag me into more darkness, rip my skin, make me bleed.. _

Her stomach felt queasy, but her imagination was running away with itself, and she could barely keep a hold of her thoughts, she felt a cold sweat come over her, and she picked up the pace, almost running down the stairs by the time she had entered the warmth of the Common room.

"You actually came down!" Ginny grinned, beckoning her over.

The red-head was seated between Pavarti and Lavender, and another girl she didn't recognise.

Hermione nodded, and started towards them, feeling slightly nervous. They had nothing else with them, so what kind of game where they playing?

"Ginny, who's that girl?" Hermione whispered in her friends ear, as the girl moved to get her drink from the table.

"Her name is Tracey." Ginny mumbled back. "She's in my year. She's really quite nice. Moved her recently, so I don't think you'd know her."

"Okay, okay!" Tracey grinned, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice. "Hrm, well, Hermione, you can go, seeing as you just came down."

"Oh, what?" She blinked in confusion, looking puzzled.

"Truthsies!" Ginny grinned. "You ask us a question, and we all have to answer truthfully. And we can't lie!"

"Oh." Hermione realised, then she regrouped herself, masking her expression of boredom which dared to creep on with a pleasant smile. "I.. erm. Are you happy with being a Gryffindor?" She suggested weakly, and to her surprise, Ginny groaned.

"Not questions like that!" She corrected her, "Questions like.. I dunno. Who was your first Crush?"

"Harry Potter." Pavarti piped up instantly. "Second year.. Corr." She grinned dreamily.

"Tom Keran, a fifth year Slytherin." Lavender pretended to swoon. "When I was in my first year.. Oh. My. God.. He was.." She trailed off, getting the same dreamy look as Pavarti.

"Mine was a boy from my old school." Tracey shrugged. "You wouldn't of known him."

"Mine was Lee Jordan." Ginny ducked her in slight shame, as a course of giggled came around the circle, but Hermione didn't join in, she looked away, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"So, Hermione, yours?" Tracey smiled at her, her bright-blue eyes slightly unnerving.

"Oh, Erm. I'd rather not say." She said evasively, and Ginny gave me a light tap over the head.

"We all had to say, 'Mione!" She grimaced of her. "You're not being fair."

"Erm, Viktor Krum, in the Yule ball?" She said quietly, and the girls exchanged glances, but nothing was said.

The game continued on, including silly questions, like what colour bra they where all wearing, and if they'd ever gone on a date without wearing knickers. Hermione let a fake laugh leave her on occasion, but she found it hard to join in.

The question strayed back to love, dipping into a bit of a depressed atmosphere when they were talking about their heart-aches. Hermione managed to avoid the questions by getting up and pretending to pick something up from the other side of the room when it was her turn. But she didn't manage to avoid the one she was dreading the most.

"So, Hermione, who was _your _first kiss?"

"Viktor Krum." She mumbled back automatically, feeling a blush creep up her neck.

"You waited until fourth year?" Ginny blinked in confusion.

"Well, I didn't really wait.. I.. didn't have the opportunity.."

An awkward silence was shared, and they moved onto their next question.

Which turned out worse than the first one.

"How far have you gone?" Ginny suddenly smirked, a cruel yet amusing look that looked out of place on the pretty read-head.

"I wanked off some Ravenclaw boy after we dated for a few weeks." Lavender said rather bluntly. "He wanted more.. but I wasn't that into him to be honest.. his hands where always really sweaty.."

The group laughed, and Hermione giggled as well.

"I slept with some muggle-boy from back at home." Pavarti grinned. "He moved in our house for a while, a bit of a lodger really, and he was so nice.. and.." She shrugged. "It just happened."

The group launched into a discussion, demanding details, and Hermione felt a bit detached. She had barely only _kissed _a boy; and that had been a bit of a mess, she hadn't really known what to do..

She shivered, feeling very awkward at the memories.

She considered darting upstairs, feinting tiredness so she could avoid it. She yawned pointedly, and stretched, giving out small signals so her departure couldn't be questioned.

But it was to late.

"Hermione?" Ginny grinned. "How about you?"

"I'm tired." She lied, making for the stairs.

"Hermione, I wouldn't do that." Tracey gasped, as a spell suddenly spurted from the girls wand, suddenly locking around Hermiones ankles in a shackle-grip.

"What is this?" She gasped, trying to move her legs, no use. She was stuck.

"A charm for the game- if someone tries to exit the game with a question still hanging.." She explained with a shrug. "If you answer, it'll release you."

Hermione flushed bright red, and she fiddled with her robes. "Just let me go to bed, please. Take off this charm."

"I can't." Tracey grimaced. "Just answer, Hermione."

"I kissed Krum." She mumbled.

"What?" Ginny blinked.

"I kissed Krum." She repeated, avoiding their eyes.

"No, the question was how _far _you've gone." Ginny sighed, laughing weakly. "Not your first kiss again."

But, the shackles released her, and she darted forward, simply saying,

"I knew the question, and I answered it. Good night."

* * *

><p><strong>Short chapter is short.<strong>

**Thank you for all the reviews! I currently have 49 right now, and I can't wait to hit the 50 mark!**

**I want a massive thanks to some of the persistent reviewers, AliceMayBrandonJones for a start, has been with me since the start! So major thanks to you dear!**

_**Another thanks to Dissapointed, another one who has been with me! I'm sure there are many more, but for now, :)**_

_**Please, continue to review. You have no idea how happy and squealy I get when I see them! :D**_

**Also, I'm really sorry for the lack of Dramione, but this is a slow, realistic Fic. I don't want a rushed relationship, as I won't even believe it myself as the writer. I promise you the next few chapters will have some more interactions, It'll be worth the wait! **

**-Kawi xx**


	14. Complications

**Sorry for the slow update. Today, I managed to scald the entire of my hand, leaving it blistered and raw. I had to go to A&E and everything- Stupid cooking ¬.¬ Sorry if this a bit slacky or short, but it really pains me to type, but I want another chapter out.**

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><p>"I don't want it." Draco growled out, casting a more than displeased glance at the cage in the middle of the room.<p>

"Don't be silly." Lucius snapped back, shoving it towards him, the black cat inside giving a disgruntled hiss. It flattened its ears to its head, yet remained still, its eyes flickering with a slight understanding.

"I really, really don't need it." Draco sighed, turning away. "If this is your way of being nice to me, father, please, go back to your cold self."

Lucius must of flinched, as Draco heard a chair tumble from behind him.

"Don't speak to me like that." Came a low voice, and Draco felt a sense of dread come over him; he knew that voice, it was the tone his father used before..

"Just take the cat, Draco."

With a disgruntled sigh, he grabbed the top of the cage and swung it around, looking in detail at the moggy inside.

It's fur was thin and looked very rough, its ribs sticking out worryingly at its sides. Down its left eye was a slightly lighter coloured patch, curling into an almost '7' shape. Its eyes were not yellow, as Draco had expected, but a dull green. But although their colour was not the brightest, there was a certain glint of intelligence there, giving the feline an almost wise look. It's paws were muddy, and coated in what Draco presumed was blood, and its jaw was slightly crooked, off place.

"What's her name?" He enquired, turning away from his new companion.

"He doesn't have one." Lucius told her, turning around to organise something on his desk. "That is your choice."

Draco thought for a moment, before mentally kicking himself. He didn't even want this animal, there was no reason to affectionately dub it with a name.

"Remind me, father, _why _you decided to give me a cat?"

"Can a father not give his son a gift without him wondering why?"

"Can a man really call himself father after all that he's done to his son?" He retorted instantly, feeling anger rise in his chest. But anger was replaced with dread, as she realised the words he had uttered.

Lucius turned around, pale in the face, narrowed eyes. He raised his hand, and Draco instantly bowed, knowing what was coming..

"Get. Out."

And Draco didn't need telling twice. Snatching the cat from the side, he dashed out, the pounding in his ears blocking out his fathers parting words.

"_Teach him."_

Draco didn't return to school as quickly as he wished.

His father had other plans; more.. violent plans.

Draco had become accustomed to the training he received every year, almost immune to what it it involved. He simply blocked it out, an action that was easily done. While his fathers voice was harsh and vicious against his ear, all he had to do was simply close his eyes, and remember..

Remember to when he was young, perhaps. To when he was free. To the first years of Hogwarts; his blissful innocence to what occurred at home. When he'd return home and simply believe the lies that his mother had fallen ill, or that he had to go to bed early because Father was meeting up with other good people, happy people.

As a child, he was blind to the beatings of his mother. As a child, he was blind to the meetings with Death Eaters just under his bedroom. The rape, the torture, the murder, the injustice.

All blind to it.

Part of him wished he could go back; and never know of it. He didn't care that it happened, he just wish he could ignore it, pretend it never happened.

But, of course, that was easier said that done. He was old enough know to understand that those screams were not Mother having fun; those wicked laughs were not in relation to games. That that liquid was not spilled wine. That they weren't other fathers, those were far from Fathers.

Part of him felt slightly respected, important, royal almost to be aware of such goings on. It was a tight group that his father held, and to be aloud to have a role in it.. it made him feel wanted; needed. A feeling that he had been long denied by every aspect of his life.

He didn't know what he was feeling.

He didn't know if he ever would.

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><p>"<em>Aim for the throat, Draco! The throat!"<em>

_He did as he was told, moving his wand with appropriate flicks, watching with indifference as the birds throat suddenly constricted, and bulged up a invisible wire._

"_Don't finish it- not yet.. the other one.. I showed you.. now.."_

_He frowned, straining his memory, before bringing his wand down in a quick flash, watching as the beak of the bird became disjointed, and began to slowly prise itself from its body._

"_Now."_

"_Brutalis finem." He responded instantly, watching with a coldness as the binding seemed to grow as strong as it could, slicing clean through skin and bone, the beak falling back into position._

_The smell of the blood was strong, but Draco was immune to it._

"_Acceptable." His father told him. "Acceptable."_

_Draco wanted to shake his head, but he didn't speak._

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><p>"<em>It is not your equal, son."<em>

"_But it has served me." He argued quietly, looking down at the house-elf. Draco barely remembered the names of the many little things they had in their house; their sheer numbers making it impossible to keep track of all of them._

"_We have many more." Lucius waved his hand in dismissal. "It is simple, Draco. Just do it already."_

_Draco closed his eyes, his mind retracting itself from reality. It was all getting to much, he knew he couldn't do this. _

_His barriers came up, and he felt himself stare at the elf in front of him with cold, indifferent eyes. _

"_Brutalis finem." His voice was harsh, and loud this time. And he felt his own stomach twist. _

_It wasn't his fault, he wasn't in control any more. His mind had long succumbed to the comforting memory of riding his first broom-stick, the feeling of his mothers soft, warm hands slowly stroking his hand._

_A cool laugh rang out, which Draco recognised as his own, and he retreated further away from the scene in front of him, trying to remember how his mother had smelt like soft peppermint and a sprinkle of firewhiskey, so perfect._

"_You are progressing." Draco heard the voice near his ear, but he didn't react. He couldn't react. He didn't now where he was; but he was far away from the cold, immobile body of his._

_He didn't feel like he was progressing._

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><p>"You'll remember to take care of your cat, won't you, Draco?" Lucius voice was almost a taunt as he glared at his son from the door frame.<p>

"Yes, father." He responded swiftly, not taking his eyes off a rose in mid-bloom above their doorway, not trusting his temper.

"I mean it."

"I know you do."

"I will find out, if you don't."

Feel very confused to why his Father was obsession so much of an animal, he simply tutted. "How am I getting to Hogwarts?" He asked, casting a glance to see if their was anyone there ready to apparate him.

"Go to the edge of Maybury close." Lucius told him, moving to close the door. "You'll find your transport."

And without a word, he found the door slammed in his face.

With a groan, he dragged his trunk behind him, the unnamed cat following him closely, his eyes never leaving its new master.

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><p><strong>Hermione.<strong>

"Why are you staring at me, 'Mione?"

Hermione shook her head, bringing herself from her trance.

"I'm not." She argued quietly, reaching forward to casually nibble on a bit of toast, trying to avoid her red-headed friends glance.

Ginny sighed, and turned her body so she was glaring at Hermione.

"Don't let what happened that night get to you."

"I'm not, Ginny." Hermione snapped, perhaps a little to harshly. "Listen, I have to go. I'm going to the library."

"Hermione.." Ginny pleaded, looking desperate, but Hermione paid no attention to her, simply tossing her bag over her shoulder, leaving her half-eaten bread on her plate.

She didn't bother to offer Harry and Ron a proper goodbye, and left her boys to bombard Ginny with questions to why she had left.

She didn't feel guilty, not really. Ginny had no right bringing that up. It was a personal matter, and she had every intention of never talking about the incident _ever _again. It felt like she was wearing her sexual innocence as heavy necklace around her throat, one that kept tightening every day.

"You look a bit rushed, Granger. Running off to a date with a book? You could of made yourself _look _nice.."

The taunting voice brought her back to reality, and she whipped around instantly, her hand feeling for her wand.

"Go away, Malfoy. I don't have time for you."

The blonde was leaning against one of the ancient pillars that stood in the hallway leading up to the library, his hair looking ruffled and almost unclean, his robes ruffled.

"I have time for you, Granger. And that's saying something." He almost purred, following her as she went to leave.

"Busy." She sighed at him, going to push open the library door with one hand, her other gripping her wand tight.

"Oh, so you can't slow your fat-ass down for more than two seconds?" He laughed harshly, leaning forward to grab her wrist and yank her around, towards him.

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><p><em>Draco.<em>

She came closer than he expected, and he made to move back, but her breath caught him by surprise. It didn't smell minty as most girls did, but it was fresh, so fresh. It smelt like it was dabbed with all sorts of spices and herbs..

It was so pleasant, like a breath of fresh air, like the scent had held him to the ground. After spending a month locked in his manor with nothing but the stench of rotting flesh and dirt for company, he felt like he was waking up..

He shoved her back a little harshly, suddendly taken back by himself- This was _Granger, _A filthy, disgusting little _Mudblood._

He didn't release her wrist, however, just tightened his grip on it.

"Got your attention now?" He teased, trying to keep his voice as hard and cold as possible, not letting the fact that her breath had basically drugged him up leak into his tone.

"Yeah, congratulations." She squirmed slightly, trying to escape his grip. "Now can I go?"

He sneered at her, looking her up and down in a disgusted manner.

And then he saw it.

The mark was small; and almost insignificant. But..

"What the _hell _is this?" He snarled, pointing his finger at the scar on her wrist.

She looked at it, then turned to glare at him. "Let go of me. It was an owl-bite."

"Clumsy little fuck, aren't you, Granger?"

She yanked her arm as hard as she could, and it slipped from his grip.

Draco took one last look at her, before turning his back, running his hand through his greasy hair with a grimace, suddenly wishing he'd washed it.

Taking one last look at Granger disappearing behind the library doors, he felt a slight brush against his legs, and he turned his gaze downwards.

His feline companion which he sourly detested was winding between his legs, meowing at him in an almost approving tone. It's eyes looked brighter than normal, and Draco expected that was because he had fed it scraps from the table, trying to make the animal look a bit less anorexic.

"You expect me to carry you?" He spat down at it, tearing his eyes away. "You have four legs, walk, you stupid animal."

Looking down at himself, he realised his clothes were filthy and hung all wrong from him. He felt slightly embarrassed and cringed.

He _really _wished he'd cleaned himself up.

He couldn't for the life of him work out why he had this sudden urge to be clean, but he didn't bother trying to squash it. Taking one more glare at the library doors, he set back to his Common Room, ducking his head, and kicking the cat a few times on his way.

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><p><strong>I'm so sorry this is so short! :( I promise you, I'll make a super, super long chapter soon to make up for all of this!<strong>

**I hope its okay, and I'll try my best to get my cooked hand back into typing condition.**

**As always, please review! I went through a few lonely days when no one reviewed last week, don't make me go through that again!**

**All the best.**

**Kali (minus one hand)**

**xxx**


	15. Her

**Draco.**

Draco Malfoys interest in Hermione Granger must have been unhealthy.

It wasn't so much of an interest, but a prick of curiosity. When he had seen the small scar on her arm, it had made her appear differently. As if she was now three dimensional, it gave her a bit of character, the mere suggestion that maybe she had a story behind her.

Draco shook his head, snorting lightly at the stupid thoughts. He was getting too wrapped up in this. She was just some stupid bad blooded girl who was messing with his head.

_A Mudblood with nice breath. _His body teased him with the thought, and he let himself drift back to when he had felt it, almost on the tip of his tongue, and every bone in his body ached to just have one more whiff of that delicious, fresh..

His stomach suddenly twisted as he realised his own thoughts, and he brought his hands up to his scalp and dug his nails in with an angry snarl, and he was glad that no one else was around to observe his little episode. He had seated himself in a shadowy corner of his common room in attempt to hide himself away, as If trying to hide away from his obsessive thoughts as well.

He felt warm, hot liquid suddenly lap against his fingertips, and the crimson blood ran down his face in a an almost-transparent line.

He moved his hand to brush it away, but found another hand hauling him up from his shoulder.

He immediately dived into his pocket and drew his wand, the sudden moment causing some of the blood to fall into his eyes, and he tried to blink it away, his vision blurred.

"Calm down, Draco."

Feeling anger spit inside him like a fire, he realised that _once _again, Theodore Nott had decided that he was important in his life.

"Get. Out." He snarled, but he lowered his wand, shoving it back into his pocket, but his temper caused a couple of sparks to emit from its tip, scorching the top of his leg.

"Fuck." He whined, but he didn't really feel it, not really. His body was screaming at him to be alone, and to remove the other presence from the room.

"Why? And let you tear yourself apart over nothing?" Nott cocked his head to the side, running his hand through his brown curls of hair with a sad smile.

Draco let out an almost feral roar, and threw himself at the boy in front of him, forgetting his wand in his pocket, just wanting to show Nott how much he was hurting, and this seemed like a fair way.

To his surprise, Nott didn't try to defend himself with magic, or even a punch. He simply braced himself for the attack and almost caught Draco, twisting around to pin him against the freezing cold stone walls of their common room.

"Get your filthy _fucking _hands OFF OF ME!" Draco screeched, fighting desperately against the firm hands that had him locked in place.

Nott smirked, shaking his head. "Not until you calm down."

Draco kicked out with his feet, seeing red. All he could feel was the heartbeat in his ears, and he let his jaw hang open in a semi-snarl. He was basically baring his teeth in a very primal way.

"I AM calm!" He spat out, managing to catch the boys knee with a rather vicious kick, and he saw Nott wince in pain.

But Draco wasn't released. The kick must of _really _hurt, as Draco swear he saw a damp patch of blood appear through Notts trousers where he had kicked him, but the grip on him didn't even falter.

"Ask yourself this, Draco. How hard is it to be in a good mood, and just be in a good mood. No one controls your emotions but you!"

The words hit Draco like a hammer, and he felt himself deflate. He was getting angry and worked up over nothing. He'd let his emotions get the better of him once more, and he knew he had reacted childishly. He felt shame replace the anger in his system, and he closed his mouth with a_ snap, _avoiding looking into Notts eyes.

"Better." Nott smiled, loosening his grip slightly. "Can I trust you to let go?"

Draco nodded wordlessly, and looked down to see that there was a small puddle of blood on the floor beneath Nott, and his shoes were red with crimson liquid.

"You should get that knee healed." Draco suggested stiffly. He wasn't going to apologise, he had no need to. He shouldn't of been pinned against the wall so violently.

"Your scalp could do a looking to as well." Nott smiled at him, reaching to run his wand over the graze Draco had given him, healing it swiftly, before moving to help Draco out.

"I'm fine." He growled, backing up. He had experienced worse wounds, much worse, a couple of small scratches on his head wouldn't hurt him to leave them.

"Draco, just let-.."

"I don't need your help!" Draco turned his back, heading towards his dormitory, leaving a frustrated Nott behind him.

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><p><strong>Hermione.<strong>

**Sorry I haven't wrote in a while. But I write to you now asking your presence at our home sometime soon. Your mother and I would like to discuss with you a couple of things. Do you best to hurry, you know your mother doesn't like to be kept waiting. If needed, we will send a letter to your headmaster to get you.**

**Do not wait too long.**

**Your father.**

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><p><em>Hermione.<em>

If Hermione had thought things couldn't get worse, she was ever so wrong.

Looking down at the letter with slight indifference, she felt a numbness gently overtake her. It wasn't the fact that they wanted to see her, that hadn't scared her. Not one bit.

It was the lack of warmth.. She was all to aware that her mother had gained this sudden hate, but her Father had been someone to fall back on. Despite choosing his Mother over Hermione, his letters still held a small amount of comfort..

And yet, this letter seemed to destroy the tiny ray of hope inside of her that was already dimming.

She considered writing back, but she found herself grabbing the letter in a fit of rage and scrunching it up in her hand, before tearing it in two.

Glaring down at the ruined paper, she didn't feel bad. Getting up from her bed where she had been sitting, she threw it into the bin, feeling frustration prickle at her.

Hermione Grangers sudden interest in Draco Malfoy probably wasn't healthy, but it would be something to distract herself from the numbness that seemed to enjoy creeping onto her.

Something about Draco had changed. What that was, she was completely unsure of, but her intellectual side was almost begging her to find out. He had always strutted around the halls of Hogwarts with perfect platinum blonde hair, his uniform elegantly messy to give him the '_Bad boy' _image he seemed to enjoy so much, and he always wore such a smirk..

So why had he approached Hermione with hair basically dripping with grease and filth, robes torn and basically ruined..

Something was wrong.

Hermione had picked up a habit of rubbing the small scar on her wrist lately with her thumb in gentle circles; something that she had to try to discourage herself from doing in public, as Harry still seemed to be very suspicious over it, but for the life of her, she could barely understand why.

She moved to place her head in her hands, rubbing her forehead gently. Everything was so confusing lately, and she longed for a sense of security in her life again.

She glanced at the clock next to her bed, and realised it was late.. very late. Late to the point it was now the next morning.

"Five fifteen." She read aloud, sighing.

Without a word, she let her head fall against her pillow, allowing sleep to take her in.

Lessons became a blur, which wasn't a surprise. Hermione dipped in and out of stages of being mentally aware, while other time she'd just let the times fly bye without a second thought.

"Hermione."

She looked up from her dinner to meet Rons eyes, and gave him an uneasy smile. "Hey."

"You're not eating anything?" He asked her curiously, prodding her food with his fork.

_Fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat._

"Not hungry." She smiled, but she reached to take a drink anyway, feeling slightly better as she felt the liquid crawl down her throat.

"You always say that." He frowned at her. "You really need to eat more."

Hermione ran a hand down her stomach through her shirt, smiling slightly as she realised it had lost some of the outward bulging it used to obtain, but it still wasn't enough..

"You want to come back to the common room with me?" She changed the subject swiftly. "Harry is in detention for a while." She shrugged.

Ron eyes suddenly appeared very bright, and he leapt to his feet almost instantly, grabbing her hand eagerly.

"I'd love to!" He grinned.

She tried to return his enthusiasm, and pulled herself up with him, lightly holding his hand.

Casting almost suspicious glances over her shoulder, she felt slightly guilty. She knew Ron had probably gotten the wrong impression from her, and she should really correct him..

But did she care..?

Of course she cared abut Ron.. Maybe even liked him _that _way a little bit.. but this.. this wasn't about that.

She wanted to feel wanted, to feel loved. And Ron was ready to give her that.

When they entered the common room, she was surprised to see it rather full.

"We could study in your dormitory." She suggested weakly, not missing the look on his face at the word '_study'._

"Sure." He smiled at her, but the expression became a bit strained, and he kissed her forehead before leaving towards his dormitory.

Dashing up hers to retrieve a few books, she put a couple back. Only deciding to take one, a rather generic potion book.

"Ron?" She called, dreading that there might be someone else in there with him.

"I'm here." He responded, and she pushed opened the door to find that he was, in fact, alone.

She climbed onto his bed with a smile, and leaned against him slightly before opening her book.

"What are you reading?"

She pressed a finger against a random page, and realised with a jolt that she had pointed out a love potion.

With a squeak, she slammed the book shut, tossing it aside.

"What'd you do that for?" He blinked.

She shook her head, smiling, stretching her arms out, and feeling her stomach flip as his eyes rested on the scar she had.

"Hermione." His voice turned almost cold. "W-.."

But she didn't want to have the same conversation again. She was tired of it. So she did the only thing she could.

Her kiss was clumsy, and most of been quite awkward, but Ron didn't seem to mind. Pressing her lips against his, she tried desperately to enjoy the moment, to get her mind off everything else.

Ron looked surprised, but kissed her back roughly, wrapping his hands around her waist and almost grinning into the kiss.

But.. it didn't feel right.

Every bone in her body was screaming at her to pull away, her stomach churning and her mind spinning suddenly. And she didn't deny her instincts.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, getting to her feet, going to exit and retreat into her dormitory when she felt a strong hand grasp her wrist, and she gasped in pain.

"Sorry?" Ron almost spat, his eyes narrowed. "Is that all you're going to say?"

"Ron, please don't start.."

"Don't start?" Ron paused to let out a harsh laugh. "I'm tired of this, Hermione. Stop messing me around!"

"I'm not messing anyone around.." She was fighting hard to keep her tone calm, but she felt anger prickle at her.

"YES! Yes you are! You're giving me all these mixed signals! First you want me, then you hate me. Then you don't like me, then I'm your everything!"

"Ron.."

"I'M SICK OF IT!" Ron snarled, releasing the grip on her wrist and pushing her back slightly.

"YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WITH PROBLEMS?" Hermione suddenly burst out, the anger in her exploding. "I'M SO SICK OF THIS! YOU'RE SO SELFISH, ALL THE TIME! YOU INNSUFERABLE LITTLE GI-.."

Whatever she was going to say, it was cut off by his lips against hers. She froze, and he didn't seem to mind the fact he was kissing lips that didn't move with his.

With an angry hiss, she shoved him back, childishly moving to smack her lips, as if trying to wipe him away.

"Don't touch me." She gasped out, feeling hot tears run down her face.

Dashing out the door, she slammed it harshly behind her, but it didn't block out Rons parting words.

"_I don't know what I ever saw in you, you ugly disgusting little cow!"_

The words seemed to slash through Hermione, and before she knew what she was doing, she was digging her fingernails into her arm.

The pain prickled at her immediately, and her mind swayed away from Ron, and focused completely on the feeling of her nails breaking her flesh, the almost foreign feeling completely blissful, but she knew her anger was blocking out the majority of feeling.

Slowly, she came back to reality. A few seconds ago all she felt was blinding anger and bitter betrayal, but now she felt the cold wind whip against her arms, and her eyes stung from the tears.

Looking down, she realised her nails had grazed her arm, and she wiped away the droplets of blood that had sprung up, causing a red smear against her arm.

It was almost transparent, almost not there. But it was.

Shrugging her long sleeves of her robe over them, she could think of no better place to go than the library.

And so she did.

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><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

"Why so glum, Mudblood?"

Hermione looked up to the source of the voice, and felt her spirits drop. She did _not _need this right now.

Turning her attention back to her book, she cringed slightly as her voice broke on her words when she spoke.

"Hello, Malfoy."

Flicking the page, she started a new paragraph, trying to focus on it.

_It is common in young witches and wizards to feel awkward and uncomfortable in their own skin, often most noticeable between the ages of 14-16. _

"You didn't answer my question. What's got your knickers in a twist, Mudblood?"

She shook her head. "Don't bother."

_Some witches goes to extreme on which they perform spells which are yet to be ministry approved upon themselves, more often than not ending up with scars upon themselves._

"Woah. Forbid me for being a bit curious." Draco sneered. "And here's me, thinking I might be pleasant for once."

"Please, Malfoy. Just leave me alone. I can't be doing with this right now."

_It is a feeling that often passes, however, in some extremes, such low self-esteem can link to depression, and self-harm, that act of intentionally harming oneself in order to feel a 'rush' or a distraction, often comes hand in hand._

Pain shot through her fingers and the book was closed on them, and she looked up to see Draco grinning.

"Why the _hell _did you slam my book shut?" She almost spat at him, glaring.

"You weren't listening." He smirked. "Which was rude, seeing as you're inferior to me in every way. You should be hanging off my every word."

She snorted at his arrogance, but simply ignored him, moving to get up.

"You making a habit out of your arm then, Granger?"

She looked down to see that her sleeve had hitched up onto her elbow, exposing the five thin grazes that raked down her arm.

She pulled it down harshly, leaving a little rip in the cuff from her bluntness.

"Just tell me what's wrong. I'm bored; and could did with a bit of amusement."

"You'll just make fun of me." She sighed, but she didn't back away, she locked eyes with him, and was a bit taken back.

His eyes swam with almost hidden emotion, different tones of silvery greys melded together and gave them the look of a vicious, yet beautiful storm.

They looked.. dull. She'd never paid any attention to them before, but they looked like they had _so _much potential to shine, and yet.. they looked almost dead.

"Stop staring at me, Granger."

She flinched when she realised she _had _been staring rather intently at him, and looked away.

"You saw my letter, didn't you?"

She said the words before she could consider them, and soon as they left her mouth she prayed and wished she could take them back.

"I did."

Well, he wasn't big on interesting answers.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders, daring to look at him once more. "Then you know."

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

"Family isn't everything, Granger."

He mentally shook himself for getting so involved in the conversation. He almost found this mudblood.. engaging?

_No. _His mind spat. _No no no no._

"Why isn't it?" She responded, and he realised with a jolt of annoyance she was staring at him.

His thoughts wondered briefly back to his family. His abusive, demanding father. And his desperate, yet submissive and willing mother.

"Shut up, Granger." He spat, feeling suddenly vulnerable that he had grown so comfortable in this conversation. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

She didn't seem to hear him, and just mused quietly. "But, when you don't have family, what do you have?"

She stood, and brushed past him, and he felt his heart beat as a sudden flash of her breath hit him.

It was everything like he remembered. Fresh, perfect, new.

He stood there for almost a minute complete intoxicated by it, before he regained his senses, and let his mouth curve into an angry smirk.

"Get out of here, Mudblood."

And to his surprise, she almost smiled at him, before bowing her head and hurrying away.

He backed up, head spinning, and he felt himself sink to the floor.

_Oh, merlin.. _He thought desperately. _What have I gotten myself into..?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Proof-read time! This chapter is kinda long. I keep my promises :3<strong>_

_**That wasn't to bad. I guess. I kind had fun reading it loudly and putting on a very sexy seductive voice for Draco. My British accent made it sound so awesome.. xD**_

_**I hope you like it! There's a fair amount of Dramione encounters going on now, and don't worry, it'll probably slow down soon enough :D**_

_**Please, Read and Review. I really appreciate them. And I can't stress how much reviews make me update faster.**_

_**Also, I wrote a quick story from a requestion from a RP'ing Harry Potter on tumblr, the request was to do a bit of creativity on the friendship he, Ron and Hermione shared. I twisted the idea and made it bit different, and it's simply called 'Friendship' I'd love if some of you could read and review that!**_

_**All the best, **_

_**Kali x**_


	16. Idiotic tendencies

It didn't take long for Draco to forget about the conversation he had with the mudblood in the library.

It didn't take long, but that didn't mean it wasn't _hard._

The more he ran it through his head, the more he realised how _human _she seemed to be. She had her own story, her own pain, her own regrets and her own demons that must of kept her up at night.

He shook his head. He was getting distracted- _too distracted. _Just because her breathe was slightly more pleasant than most did not make her any less of a disgusting excuse for a witch.

_Priorities. _He thought silently to himself one morning while he brushed his teeth, staring at the reflection that seemed to glare back at him. _She's confusing me again. I need to focus on what I want. And that's arguments. I want to prove to them I'm someone they should fear- not having cosy catch ups in the dam library with a bushy haired bitch._

Looking up at his reflection, he searched himself briefly. Why _had _Granger stared so intently at him the other night? He was used to girls stopping to admire him, he'd had it since he hit puberty at fourteen. But.. her gaze was different. It wasn't lustful and pleading, it was a sort of '_What are you hiding_' look.

He grimaced, getting a handful of cold water and splashing it desperately over his face, as if she had left a hand print that needed to be washed off.

"Draco, Hurry up in there. You're not the only one who needs to use the bathroom, you know."

The voice of Blaise Zabini drew him from his almost OCD state of drowning his face in as much water as he could, and he quickly grabbed a towel to dry himself as quickly as possible.

"Hurry up, Blondey!"

Deciding that Blaise had been too rude, he slowed down, taking as much time as possible.

After he had made sure his platinum blonde hair had been washed adequately, and was perfectly in position, and he no longer smelt of the sweat and adrenalin from last nights spar with Nott, he stepped out the bathroom swiftly, ignoring the fact that Blaise was glaring daggers at him, and proceeded downstairs to the common room.

"Draaaccccccooooooooooooooo."

"Do you have a _fucking _fetish for my name or something, Pansy?" He spat, twisting around to come nose-to-nose with the pug faced _bitch._

She frowned, but seemingly decided to ignore his less than friendly greeting. "We haven't hung out in a while." She began weakly. "And there's a Hogsmede trip this weekend.."

Draco suddenly realised he could barely remember what day it was, and he searched his brain for a clue, but with a sigh, he gave up, knowing he'd have to answer Pansy.

"What day is it?" He kept his voice cold, disconnected, turning from her to pick up his tie and wrap it around his neck, doing it up rather lazily.

"Thursday." Pansy frowned, moving to try and make eye contact with him again. "The trip is on Saturday, I was wondering if you'd like to maybe go together..?"

Adjusting his tie so it hung loosely and felt comfortable, he brushed a few specks of dirt from his person, grabbing his wand which he had left on one of the emerald sofas in the middle of the room.

"What?" He mumbled, having fazed out after hearing the answer to his question. "Yes, whatever."

"You'll come?" She gasped, suddenly embracing him tightly. "Really? Thank you, Dwakkkoo!"

He flinched, peeling her arms away from him, realising what he'd just agreed to. "Pansy, _seriously.."_

But she cut him off with quick peck on his cheek, dashing away to her classes.

"_Fuck." _He grumbled, inwardly cursing himself. He now had a _bloody _wonderful Saturday to spend in the presence of a girl he probably despised the most.

"Coming to class, mate? We're late already." Nott appeared at the end of the stairwell, heavy bags under his eyes.

Draco cocked an eyebrow at the boys tired appearance, and titled his head to acknowledge that he would accompany him.

"What we got?" Draco called over his shoulder, taking the lead although he didn't really know where he was going.

"We're supposed to have double potions." Nott clicked his tongue in a disappointed fashion. "But the stocks of ingredients have basically run out, and Snape is off sick. So we've been allocated to go to a Care of Magical Creatures lesson with the Gryffindors."

Draco groaned, throwing his head back. "Why didn't they just give us the periods off? I can't believe we have to go back to that stupid lesson. I thought I left it behind years ago. And with the _Gryffindors!"_

"Don't be so melodramatic." Nott chided him. "It's not that bad of a lesson. Once that oaf Hagrid stops trying to talk to us and lets us do it, it's fun. And you can just avoid the Gryffindors, although I understand where you're coming from with that."

Draco felt his temper flicker at the scold he received, but held his tongue, not really wanting to repeat what happened the other night.

* * *

><p>Seeing as their common room was in the Dungeons, it didn't take them long to reach the grounds, unlike the Gryffindors who looked out of breathe by the time they arrived.<p>

"Bit pink in the cheeks, Mudblood." He teased when he passed by Hermione, trying to reinforce the fact he had been slightly tolerant of her for a few minutes didn't change _anything. _

She glared at him, and turned away, striking up conversation with Potter.

He snorted, a bit put out that she refused to respond to him. But didn't take it too personally.

"A'right, 'right. Listun' up!"

Hagrid had began to talk, explaining something about something.. but Draco wasn't listening, he didn't bother to. Knowing full well that Nott would gather any information from the speech. The blonde wizard could barely understand what that stupid oaf was saying anyway.

His eyes darted towards the group of Gryffindors that stood away from him, leaving a clear divide between the houses. Weasel caught his eye and Draco bared his teeth in a sarcastic, yet taunting sense. The red-head gave him a disgusted look, before edging slightly further away, moving to stand so Potter blocked him from Dracos eyesight.

_Coward. _Draco thought. _Does he not even realise the potential he has with such pure blood in his veins? He may be a blood traitor, but he could have a bit more bravery.. He's a Gryffindork. Aren't they supposed to be all stupid and reckless?_

He shook his head, knowing he shouldn't get so wrapped in thoughts about that Weasel- the blood traitor really wasn't worth his time.

He scanned his eye across the crowd once more, realising with a jolt that Granger wasn't standing in her usual place between Potter and Ginger. The Mudblood had taken a place a bit further back from them, standing next to who Draco recognised as Dean Thomas.

"Mate, why are you staring at them?"

He was pulled out of his trance by Zabinis voice, and he felt a blush creep up his neck.

The fact he was _blushing _made him somehow blush even _harder. _And he turned his face away to hide himself. "I'm not."

"You were." Nott piped up from behind him, and he felt the brown haired lad push past a couple of others to stand next to him. "Clear as day."

"Just fuck off, alright? I wasn't!" He spat, unaware that he was raising his voice.

"Woah. No need to get so touchy, man." Blaise laughed, but Nott shot him a warning look.

"I'm not being _fucking _touchy! You're being annoying! I can do whatever the fuck I want! And I WASN'T! So just leave me alone!"

Sending one more glare at Blaise, he turned his head away, realising that the entire class was staring at him, and that he had just shouted _very _loudly.

"Oi, Malfoy." Hagrid spoke to him, but Draco turned so he was looking away from him as well.

"Carry on." Draco mumbled, looking up to find Hermiones eye staring directly at him.

He almost blushed again.

Hagrid suddenly made a grunt, and Draco turned to see him trying to wrestle a dirty piece of parchment from the jaws of something concealed in a box.

"Righ', Righ'. Everyon' take a look here at this. Pair up!" He clapped his hands together, handing the list to the nearest person.

Draco, unable to patiently wait his turn for the list, darted forward, shoving students out the way and ripping it out of some Gryffindorks hand.

_Blaise Zabini – Theodore Nott._

_Dean Thomas – Seamus Finnigan._

_Harry Potter – Ron Weasley._

_Pansy Parkinson – Pavarti Patil._

_Draco Malfoy – Hermione Granger._

Everything seemed to blur slightly as he looked down at the list, and he was very aware of the pounding blood in his ears.

"There's been a mistake." He spat out, shoving the list away from him, glaring at up at Hagrid. "I'm not working with that _Mudblood!"_

"Don't use tha' ruddy word, Malfoy!" Hagrid scolded him angrily. "There was no one else fur' yooh' to pair 'ith."

"I don't care!" He almost screeched. "Anyone is better than _her!" _

But Hagrid had turned away, and was paying no attention to him at all, fussing over the crates once more.

With a vicious and angry scowl on his face, he stalked towards Granger, mouth opened slightly in disgust.

"What are _you _doing here, Malfoy?" Potter very almost growled at him, throwing him a suspicious look.

"I've been paired up with that Bad-blooded bitch." He explained with a smirk, deciding he could use this to his advantage.

"Don't talk about her like that!" Potter snapped, moving in front of Granger almost protectively.

"Oh, and what are you going to do? You're with the Weasel." He taunted, flashing his eyes towards the blood-traitor.

To his surprise, Weasley hadn't immediately jumped to the defence of Granger, which was odd. As far as Draco had been concerned, they had been somewhat of an item.

"Boyfriend not sticking up for you?" He moved himself so he could send Granger a taunting look. "What, is he to scared to stand up to the scary Draco?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Granger suddenly seemed to explode, her voice raw with malice and pure hate. "So shut that filthy little mouth of yours, Draco. You don't know _ANYTHING!"_

Draco blinked. Had the Mudblood just called him by his first name?

"I don't want to be paired up with you any more than you want to work with a Gryffindor!" She continued. "So why don't you just _bloody _grow up and get on with it!"

Forgetting his thoughts about his first-name, he couldn't help himself but to continue.

"Swearing are we, Mudblood? Woah. I must of _really _hit a nerve." He lowered his voice, turning it into an almost seductive tone. "You know, I like it when you shout." He teased.

"Piss off!" She snapped at him, striding forward to plant a harsh slap on his face.

But his Quiditch reflexes kicked in before she could, and he caught her wrist, yanking it back.

"Don't even think about touching me!" He snarled at her, putting slight amount of pressure onto her, not _hurting _her per say, just causing a fair amount of discomfort.

"I wouldn't dream of it!" She growled, trying to yank from his grasp, and Draco felt a haunting sense of Deja vu.

He decided to let her go, growing slightly bored of their little argument, but not before her robe sleeve fell down towards her elbow, exposing the five faint grazes she must of inflicted upon herself. The ones Draco had seen after the library incident.

A small shocked and angry gasp escaped Harry, and Draco dropped her arm immediately, feeling slightly bad that her friend had saw.

As much as he hated Granger, he knew wounds, no matter how faint they where, remained personal, and if she didn't want to tell her sad excuses of friends, he hadn't a right to shove it in their faces. He felt a small twinge of guilt, which was swiftly subdued, and he mentally kicked himself.

_She's a Mudblood. The blood she bleeds is bad and filthy, disgusting, unpure. What am I talking about, personal? I should of shoved it in Potters face._

Hermione shot Draco a wounded, almost betrayed look, before hurrying forward to gather whatever they needed for todays lesson off Hagrid.

Draco turned to Potter, flashing a mocking grin at him.

Potter raised an eyebrow, and gave him a cool, calm look.

"What was that about, Malfoy?" He asked him evenly, his voice not showing any sign of emotion.

"I don't-.."

"You shouldn't of yanked her sleeve down like that."

"Shut up, Potter."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the filler chapter! ): But I just needed to slow things down a bit, I need this to be realisitic.<strong>

**Two chapters in the space of two days, aren't you lucky? ;) **

**I'ma head to bed, with some Hot chocolate. Kawi is tiired.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, it REALLY made me happy. I can't explain how giddy I get when I see them ;) **

**You guys are the greatest 3 But just cause I update so fast, doesn't mean you can skip chapters with your reviews! The more you review the more I write. I might take a few days brake to get my inspiration back.**

**This chapter was really fun to write, so I hope you enjoy reading it.**

**Lots of laaaave.**

**Kawi xx**


	17. So Just Remember What I Think

**Does a kinda long chapter get me mega long reviews? Seriously. I love long reviews. Gimmie.**

**Dedicated to the lovely anon on tumblr who keeps me smiling with their excitableness for new chapters. 3**

**Also, someone managed to guess the song that inspired me to write this. It's called 'The way she feels by between the trees. Have a listen!**

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><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

"What is _that?" _Draco spat, scowling at the writhing mess in Grangers hands.

Glaring coldly at him, she didn't reply, simply depositing whatever she was holding onto the nearest tree stump, moving to place her hands over what must have been its arms, in an attempt to restrain it.

He stepped forward hesitantly, closer towards the mystery, yet closer to Granger, and he flinched at the contact when he realised he was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her.

"You didn't answer me, Granger." He scooted a little further to the left, feeling uncomfortable with the proximity of which they where standing.

"I don't know." She spoke finally, but her voice was a defeated whisper. "Hagrid told us that if we calm it down, and make it feel comfortable, it'll spit out fire."

He moved forward to take in the beast, and let his eyes scan the body swiftly.

It had a very canine head, apart from how its ears stretched longways, in a elf-like shape, while two pale blue horns stretched from underneath them, curling at the tip. Its grey fur was short, and patches of pale white skin could be seen from the gaps between patches. The grey, however, seemed to lighten into an almost-white on its muzzle, chest, and all paws.

Well, _paws _was a bit misleading. The feet of the animal were massively out of proportion to its body, and the fur was even _shorter _on them, making it looks almost bald.

Its tailed curled elegantly in a long, almost lizard like style, the end of it covered in flowing ribbons of beautiful thin skin, shimmering with different colours that reflected in the suns rays.

With a huff, Draco realised he had been staring at it with his jaw hung open at its sheer unusualness, and he closed it with an audible snap.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Granger twist around to look at him, and he snorted in annoyance, not meeting her eyes, but making his discomfort under her gaze very apparent.

"You're not going to help?" Her voice was clearer now, a major difference from the whisper she had used only a few minutes ago.

Feeling anger rise in his chest at her presumption that he was _supposed _to help her, he pushed all thoughts of making an effort this lesson away, fixing her with a harsh, cold stare.

"Why? Are you so _fucking _incompetent you can't deal with a pup?" He pretended to be considering something, then adopted a patronising tone. "Oh, wait. You're a mudblood." He laughed darkly. "Get the fuck on with it, Granger."

Turning his back on her, not bothering to continue the argument, he let his eyes close, for the first time realising that a bitter wind was starting to pick up.

Prising his eyes open from the inviting darkness he was slowly submitting to, he shook the drowsiness from his head, moving to lean against the tree trunk nearest to them, sliding down it slowly, enjoying the feeling of the cold wood against his thin shirt.

As he finally sat on the ground, he shivered slightly at the cold feeling that ran up him, alongside a sudden feeling of calmness.

It was almost like he was fire, and he burnt relentlessly, nothing able to tame him.

Except this. Except this feeling of cold, it cooled the anger inside him, and he found himself finally able to think straight.

With an angry snort, he shook his head away from the sudden feeling of peace he felt growing within him, feeling his face form a scowl.

_I don't deserve to feel like this. _His head spat at him instantly, and then he reformed his words a bit.

_I don't have anything to keep me feeling like this. _He corrected himself.

With a sigh, he stood, going to see how Granger was doing. If only to cure his boredom.

_Keep telling yourself that. _Came a teasing thought, and for a split moment, he faltered.

Then he shoved the thought away, screaming. "_Oi! Mudblood!"_

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

Hermione had watched Draco retreat with a somewhat heavy heart. She had presumed that their little interaction in the library had softened him towards her, but apparently not.

Her hand moved instinctively towards the scratches on her arms, and she almost felt tears prickle in her eyes at the shame of them. It was a split-moment decision, something she'd take back if she could.

She didn't understand why Harry had been so shocked with her, or had even reacted to it. It was _her _ personal reaction. A one-off. Besides, it wasn't that big. She didn't see anything wrong with it. Everyone had ways of dealing with things, what was wrong with this?

_It was her personal reaction. A one-off._

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she distracted herself by busying her hands with the pup that was still shaking and squirming beneath her grasp, and she moved to gently stroke a fingers across its forehead in small strokes, knowing this often calmed animals.

But, to her dismay, it opened its mouth to display a jaw full of piranha like teeth, and let out a screeching wail.

Panicking, she quickened the repetitive strokes, but it got worse, and worse, until she took a hesitant step back, falling against someone.

She heard a snort of disgust as she yanked herself to her feet, and a blush crept up her neck, and she mumbled a hurried 'Sorry'.

"Stupid Mudblood." Malfoy growled, rubbing his hands over his uniform, as if to clean himself.

"I didn't mean to fall on you." She felt a flash of defiance strike her, and she squared her shoulders slightly.

"I called to you." He had the air of explaining A-B-C to a small child. "And you completely ignored me, so I waited to see if you could tell you where in the presence of such blood royalty. Apparently not."

Ignoring his arrogance, and smug look when he talked about blood, she ran a hand through her hair, grimacing as she realised how rough and tangled it must have been that day.

"I didn't hear you." She adopted to the tone he had used, trying to hold back her smirk.

"Obviously."

A funny spasm suddenly hit her, and she looked at him. His voice had lost all malice suddenly, and sounded almost.. _teasing?_

"Does the incompetent mudblood need some help?" He continued on smoothly, like nothing had happened, and she felt almost disappointed as she realised his angry, arrogant tone had returned.

_Shut up, Hermione. _She thought bitterly. _It's only Malfoy. It'd be.. weird if he wasn't like this._

"Not really." She replied stiffly, then realised that the pup was still screeching. Rushing over, she scooped it up in her arms, unaware of what to do.

"Still not know what it is?" He sighed at her in annoyance, and she shook her head.

Approaching her, he leant over slightly to peer at it, running a finger down its snout.

To her surprise, it seemed to immediately shut up, fixing its bright blue eyes on him, letting out a happy whine.

"It likes you." She acknowledged out loud in slight wonder, and then moved to give it to him.

He seemed to stare at it for a while, as if wondering if Hermione had put a hex on it or something, but in the end he put his hands around its waist, pulling it roughly from Hermiones hands, and moving to hold it against his chest.

The canine wiggled in his arms, before it had its back pressed against his chest, and it stared directly at Hermione, its dragon tail waggling.

"That wasn't hard." Draco frowned. "At all."

Hermione shrugged, turning her back to pick up a couple of her things, realising with a jolt just how _cold _it was.

A screeching suddenly met her ears, and she whipped around, the robe clutched in her hand swinging with her, catching on a patch of brambles.

"_Fucking thing!" _She heard Malfoy snarl, and abandoning her attempt of pulling her robe free, she twisted around, casting a dismayed look at the pup.

"What did you do?" She gasped, moving to take it from him.

He gave it up eagerly, glaring at her. "I didn't do anything, Granger! The stupid thing just started yelping!"

"You must of done _something!"_ She hissed impatiently. "It was fine two seconds ago!"

"I'm not an expert on these thing!"

"Never said you where! Seriously!"

The sound of the bell rang across the grounds, and she realised that she had been sucking her stomach in for a while, and she immediately relaxed herself.

Walking over, she silently handed the pup over to Hagrid, smiling politely at him, before returning to rescue her robe from the brambles.

To her surprise, it wasn't still snagged in the thorny plant, but instead, it was hanging from a pale hand, who had extended it towards her.

She stared at it dumbly, before looking up to meet Malfoys eyes.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off with a glare, throwing the robe at her, the clothing falling over her head and blacking her eyesight momentarily.

"Stupid Mudblood." She heard him spit, but he had already turned his back, and was striding towards the castle.

Pulling the robe from over her head, she couldn't help but inspect where he held it, but she wasn't entirely sure what she was looking for.. something just felt.. out of place.

Realising there was a cat hair on it, she pulled it up, flicking it away with a sigh.

The black hair floated away silently, and she turned to meet Harry and Ron, ignoring the fact that they where now both giving her a cold shoulder.

_Wait. _She thought suddenly, faltering slightly in her steps. Not that either of her friends turned around to look at her. _Black hair? But.. Crookshanks has ginger hair.._

She shook her head, and felt like laughing at how silly she was being. It could of come from anywhere.. it was just a stray cat hair.

She moved to catch up with Harry and Ron, pushing Malfoy from her mind.

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

For the next few nights, Hermione had found herself unable to read the book Malfoy had slammed on her fingers.

It was as if part of him had printed himself on each page, and even picking it up brought back memories of their little encounter in the library, something she _really _didn't want on her mind.

So, at night, she had basically nothing to do, other than wait for herself to fall asleep.

Just as she had predicted, she had ruined her sleeping pattern, her natural body clock waking her up at bizarre hours during the night, and not letting herself fall asleep again until she was mid-way in charms, or while half-heartedly eating morsels of food during lunch.

Harry had been ignoring her for a few days after he had seen her arm, and she felt a bit put out. After her argument with Ron, she needed the company more than ever, and now she was being separated from her source of security.

"Ginny." She cleared her throat suddenly, and the red-head looked up, smiling at Hermione from across the Gryffindor table.

"Hermione." Ginny smiled at her, ducking under the table and emerging to sit next to her.

"Have.. err.. Harry.. and Ron.. spoken to you?" She gushed out, feeling her cheeks redden. "Said anything about me?"

Ginny shook her head, looking curious. "Why?" She asked.

"Nothing." Hermione shook her head, going to stand. "Don't worry."

Turning away, she felt a strong hand on her shoulder suddenly yank her back, and she felt herself be seated once more, and she turned with an irradiated expression to look accusingly at Ginny.

"What was that for?" She sighed, rubbing her shoulder slightly. That girl was strong.

"That's all you say now-a-days." The red-head frowned. "Nothing. Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm going to the library." Ginny paused, as if trying to keep her voice even and straight.

Hermione tried to hide her surprised with a grin, and patted Ginny gently on the head, earning herself a scowl from her friend.

"Stop being silly, Ginny." She desperately tried to crush the panic inside of her, not letting it show. "I'm just a bit stressed. You're a year younger; you wouldn't understand. We get a lot more homework and such. More pressure. We have are exams soon.." She lied smoothly. If anything, they where getting less homework. "I'm sorry. I'll be back to my old self soon."

Ginny didn't look convinced, but didn't argue with her.

Hermione leant down to peck Ginnys forehead, before pulling her bag over her shoulder, exiting the hall with her pseudo-smile still etched on her face.

But, when she managed to stumble out into the dormitory, she felt her face drop into a sad smile, scolding herself for being so obviously distant. If she wasn't careful, she'd loose Ginny as well.

Looking down with a sick feeling of surprise, she realised she had been unconsciously dragging her nails across the grazes she had left the other night, and her breath caught in her throat.

Backing up, she felt her back meet a wall, and she shook her head, clearing it slightly.

"You _really _are making a habit out of this, aren't you?"

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

He felt a smirk creep up on his face at her bewildered expression as she looked up at him, but he tried to subdue it, keeping his face completely neutral.

"Why did you give me my robe last week, Malfoy?"

Ah.

He didn't really know what had made him lunge and remove her robe from the tangle of brambles it had been captured by, and he couldn't really explain it. But something about the fabric so hopeless and lost within the sharp clutches of something which was barely even alive, it seemed so.. pointless.

So he had lunged forward and pulled it out, not even realising what he was doing.

"I don't know." He answered honestly.

An awkward silence stretched between them, and he watched with curiosity as she shook her robe sleeve so it fell down, covering her arm.

"I'm not making a habit." She spoke up, and he fixed her with a confused expression.

She pointed to her arm, and repeated herself.

"It looks like it." He told her rather sharply, and the silence was back.

He stood just simply staring at her for a while, part of him was screaming to edge a little closer, it'd be so long since he'd smelt her breath.. the winds that raced across the grounds had stolen his opportunity to catch a trace of it during their Care Of Magical Creature lesson, and he felt slightly cheated.

_No, fuck no. Stop it. _He snarled in a thought. _Fucking disgusting filthy bastard Mudblood who deserves to rot._

"It was a one off." She spoke softly, and she pulled herself into a more presentable stance, adjusting her bag over her shoulder.

_Her shoulder that looked so dam skinny._

He realised with a jolt she had lost a fair amount of weight, her trousers which once clung to her, now looked baggy, and her shoulder looked almost pointed.

He'd seen _skinnier _girls than her, but that wasn't the point. Granger was never fat, not even really chubby, but she had a bit of.. it was hard to explain. She had always looked so.. in proportion, and the sudden change made him feel a bit thrown. He didn't like change.

"Did you just come from Dinner?"

The question fell from his mouth before he could stop it, and he cursed himself for making his voice .. so normal.

"Yes."

_She doesn't like making conversations easy, does she? _He grumbled to himself, casting an awkward look around, trying to find something to focus on.

"I should be going, Draco." She mumbled, pushing past him.

_Draco?_

"Oi, Mudblood!" He felt rage suddenly snap inside of him, and he lunged for her, wrapping his fingers around her wrist, yanking her backwards violently.

"What are y-.. AARGH!"

Ignoring her screams of protest, he felt a smirk come onto his face this time, and he didn't fight it, sneering at her.

"What are you doing?" She spat, fighting in his grasp, her cheeks reddening with the effort.

He threw his other arm forward to grab her hair, pulling it back so she was looking up at him.

_For once. _He thought bitterly. _Being tall is helping me._

"You're a filthy fucking mudblood." He snarled at her without hesitation. "Your kind disgusts me, and should be wiped off this earth. You're unworthy of your magic, and I'd love to torture you until you screamed about how you're inferior to me in every way. You deserve every fucking insult _anyone _gives you, because you don't deserve the air you're breathing." He paused to suck in a breath, as if to add affect to his words. "Most of all, I hate you. I hate every part of you. To your filthy fucking curly hair, to the way your wear your uniform like the bookworm you are. I especially hate how fucking _chubby _you look." He couldn't help but cringe at the lie about her weight, and he felt his whole expression turn cold.

He looked at her directly, and realised their was hurt glimmering in her eyes, along side tears, but he pushed away his empathy.

"But, please, Herm-.. Granger. Don't do that to your arm again." His voice was a low, defeated whisper, laced with emotion he never knew he could speak with, and he couldn't even tell what they where.

Throwing her back, he snorted, before heading back to his Common room, kicking doors open with as much force as he could along the way.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry, this is kinda short ;_; I tried making it as long as I could. But I haz a stomach ache and MERHH.<strong>

**Thank you for all the reviews, you wonderful people! And although I dedicated this to my anon, I'd also like to dedicate this to a wonderful, beautiful girl I've recently met on tumblr. **

_**This is for you, closemindedperson. :)**_

**I hope you like this chapter. :) Please review this one as well. It would mean the world to me!**

**All the best.**

**-Kawi xx**


	18. Visions

**Dedicated to my wonderful anon on tumblr. :3**

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><p><em>Hermione.<em>

"_But, please, Herm-.. Granger. Don't do that to your arm again."_

She had watched him leave with hesitant gasps of air, her scalp burning slightly from the rough treatment, and she pulled out a couple of stray hairs he had yanked free and let lay at an awkward position.

She didn't even know where to start, she could barely process his sentence, her mind instantly rejecting the thought that he would _ever _say anything like that. He hadn't. He had never said those words.. But he _had. _They had fell from his mouth in a voice that sounded pure, sincere, and hearing them and taking them in felt as easy and secure as breathing. Like breathing, they felt so essential, and if she hadn't heard them, she wondered if she'd feel as empty as she had a few days ago.

Realising she had been holding her breath, she let it go with a long sigh, moving to gently massage her scalp with a bit of a grimace.

"_Your kind disgusts me, and should be wiped off this earth. You're unworthy of your magic, and I'd love to torture you until you screamed about how you're inferior to me in every way. You deserve every fucking insult anyone gives you, because you don't deserve the air you're breathing"_

He may of shown a small ray of humanity, and at a push empathy, but that could barely take away what he'd said before his conscious had shown through.

She felt her stomach twist as she heard his words relay in his head, and found herself longing to hear his voice again, as the audio memory in her head didn't have his arrogant, angry tone, just a neutral, plain.. almost smooth.

"_Most of all, I hate you. I hate every part of you. To your filthy fucking curly hair, to the way your wear your uniform like the bookworm you are. I especially hate how fucking chubby you look."_

She felt her whole body stiffen at the insults he had thrown at her, feeling each of them take separate stabs at her sensitive insecurities, and she could almost feel her self-esteem.. or what was left of it.. slowly dwindle away.

She pulled her hand away from her hair, the pausing of the massage causing the spasms of pain to return, and she frowned.

She _thought _she had improved her hair. She had tried so hard to.. She sacrificed an extra hour of sleep in the morning to try and calm and tend to it before class.. she may not of kept up the colouring spell on it, and she didn't curl it every day.. but she _tried._

Using the same hand, she ran it down her shirt, curving upwards to place her palm on her bare skin, feeling it rumble under her touch.

She'd _tried _to limit her diet as much as she could. Cutting meals and not eating wasn't as easy as a lot of people say, it's not as easy as '_I will eat nothing but biscuits for a week, and loose weight.' _Sometimes, it's impossible to ignore the painful pangs of hunger that seemed to claw at her, and sometimes she had to eat out of habit, if nothing else.

One glance at her uniform was enough for her. She tried to ignore how.. _stupid _she suddenly felt for convincing herself that she should be proud how she wore her clothes. No one else seemed to wear it in _her _fashion..

Because everyone else could easily see just how _stupid _it made people look.

She felt tears well in her eyes, and with a shaking hand she brushed them away, unable to hold back the strangled sob that growled from her throat, and she lunged forward, putting on a run as she tried to escape to the common room as fast as she could.

Her footing was clumsy, and she found herself falling a couple of times, the snickering and sneering of people around her only making her heart feel even heavier, and she tried to block it out, focusing on the sound of air rushing past her, the sound of her disjointed footsteps.

Trying to avoid thinking.

Trying to avoid anything.

Trying to avoid the harsh stab of reality that was lurking behind her, stalking, crouching.

Trying to push away what she already knew.

"In a bit of a rush, Mudblood?"

"Did you see that? Like a tumble weed blowing past, her and that hair.."

"Did you trip over your feet, or your broken pride that time?"

She shook her head as violently as she felt her own heart shaking, and when she finally got to the Portrait, she barely managed to mumble out the password before she finally felt hot tears run down her cheek, and she didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Hermione?"

"Woah, what's wrong?"

"Hey, slow down! What happened?"

She didn't register that these voices now carried a warm, caring tone, rather than the arrogant and insulting ones she had heard on her way, but her brain rejected them all the same. To her, they remained the same. All she knew was that she had one goal, and one goal only.

_To be alone. To silence the voices she heard. To be with herself, with no one else to see her._

She almost threw herself up the stairs, opting to use the bathroom rather than her dormitory, not wanting to run the risk of running into someone else.

Slamming the door behind her, she locked it hastily, feeling herself fall into a clumsy sitting position, and she released the metal clamp she had tightened on her emotions, ready to let it all out..

_And there was nothing._

Her tears dried almost instantly, and no more fell. Her body had stopped shaking and had become completely stable now, and she sat unmoving on the bathroom floor, unable to even frown, her mouth shaped into a tight line.

But she felt one feeling strongly, she felt disappointment. She had managed to find a way to hide away and be herself, to be alone, to let everything she had been kept in out..

And there was nothing.

_What was wrong with her?_

With a cool, calm expression, she reached for her wand, playing with it in her fingers.

_This isn't right. _She thought desperately._ Something is so wrong, something has gone wrong with me. Why can't I cry? This is what I wanted, wasn't it? What I needed?_

She let the words run through her head again, in an almost self-torturing attempt.. but she couldn't feel. Didn't feel.

There was nothing.. nothing but an empty feeling.

_Numb._

Moving like she was in a dream-like state, her fingers tightened on her wand and she drew it closer to her, almost like she wasn't in control of her movements.

_I'm not in control of my movements. _She lied to herself. _This isn't me. _

She felt like she should be crying, rejecting what she was about to do, but she couldn't. She just couldn't find any effort to do so.

_This is a one off. _She told herself, even her thoughts sounded defeated. _A one off. Not again._

Lifting her shirt slightly, she let it rest just under her breasts, exposing her bare stomach, ignoring the pang of disgust at the fact it bulged slightly.

Moving her wand so it pointed directly at her skin, she didn't bother to close her eyes..

With a slight smile, she opened her mouth, ready to speak..

"_But, please, Herm-.. Granger. Don't do that to your arm again."_

A rush of cold air, replaced by warmth, the smell of gentle pricks of icy mint almost hidden behind the scent of a burning fire, warm, comforting, smoothing.

"_But, please, Herm-.. Granger. Don't do that to your arm again."_

A gasp, a clatter. The wand falls to the ground with an almost deafening smash.

"It's not my arm this time.." She argued quietly, moving to pick up her wand once more, but felt herself unable to.

And now, she did cry.

"Please.." She begged quietly, "Please, I need this."

Gasping with the sudden movement, she felt like the scruff of her neck was being yanked back, and she fell without much protest, looking around desperately.

There was no one there with her, she was alone as she was when she locked the door.

She was alone, with nothing but memories.

_He isn't here._

Biting down on her lip, she didn't have to try to cry this time.

The tears were more than willing to fall.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

Draco was vaguely aware he was having an out-of-body experience.

He wasn't really alarmed by this; he had been born with a sleeping condition when he was younger, and after trying to manipulate it with magic, it had turned into.. something different.

He wasn't able to walk around like a ghost, but he was aware of his sleeping form almost.. next to him. Either way, he knew he was somehow separated.

His vision was a blurred array of silvers and whites, silently shifting to often form odd patterns, or easy shapes, nothing new.

The occasional sounds of snoring broke through the calming colours, making the patterns become jagged and disjointed, ruining the peace.

A mumbled word from Nott, and the sleep-laugh that bubbled quietly on Zabinis lip..

Just a normal night.

_What was wrong with her?_

The foreign thought jolted him slightly, and he gasped, hearing his resting form twist slightly.

_This isn't right._

No. Draco thought bitterly as the unknown voice prickled at him again, anger flickering at the intrusion. This isn't right.. who the hell..?

_Something is so wrong, something has gone wrong with me. Why can't I cry? This is what I wanted, wasn't it? What I needed?_

He heard himself groan, and the bedsheets that covered him fell to the floor with a slight, quite and cushioned noise. The silver swirling now angrily jolted up and down every time the unknown voice pricked his thoughts.

_Numb._

This time, he heard himself growl. Not a sleep induced noise, but a snarl full of anger and desperation, and he felt himself slowly abandoning the swirling in front of his eyes, being dragged away.. to somewhere unfamiliar.. yet so familiar in a sense.

_I'm not in control of my movements. This isn't me. _

He was lost- lost in his own thoughts and visions. His mind desperately tried to find something to cling onto, to bring him so he could see what was going on. The voice was almost begging him to come closer, but he couldn't find himself enough to find it.

_This is a one off. A one off. Not again._

And then, suddenly, it was all so clear.

Like his hand had touched ice, he recoiled almost instantly from what he found, wanting to return to his bed and just escape this.

He'd questioned himself until he fell asleep about why he had told Granger not to do it again. He'd also mentally kicked himself so much it was like he had _actually _kicked himself over the fact he almost used her first name.

He couldn't be here, he didn't want to be.

A snap, and a flash of images. Disconcerting, disjointed, _scary. _

The Mudblood. The Gryffindork. The girl. Granger. _Her-..  
><em>No, he couldn't do it. Couldn't bring himself to say her name. Not yet. Not now. _Never._

Her wand. Her skin. Her.

_Her. Her. Her. Her._

He wanted to scream; he knew what she was going to. He felt it, in the pit of his stomach. He opened his mouth to scream about how much of a _fucking _idiot she was being. She didn't have to do this..

But he found himself only able to recycle his old words.

"_But, please, Herm-.. Granger. Don't do that to your arm again." _He snarled with as much fury as he could, but his voice sounded mute, and dull. It wasn't his voice he heard, just a neutral, calm tone.

He wanted to rush forward and rip the wand from her hand, and he willed every part of him to.

But he wasn't there. He was never supposed to be there. He wasn't even in a physical form..

He didn't know what, or where he was. All he knew was that he had to get her to stop. It was the only way.

"_But, please, Herm-.. Granger. Don't do that to your arm again." _He begged quietly once more, his body screaming for him to say more, to not stumble over her name. Knowing that would make his plead even weaker.

"Get up, Son."

He twisted away as the silver returned, feeling dread overtake him, he couldn't leave. Not yet. He wasn't finished. He couldn't..

"I won't ask you again."

The colour began to fade to black, and he fell himself being dragged away, returning..

He couldn't leave. He had to stay.. He didn't know..

"You forced me to do this."

A searing pain shot through him, stealing away what was left of his grip on his dream, and his mouth opened to snarl, but he only managed to utter one thing.

"_Granger.."_

He heard a curious noise from someone next to him, and he felt his stomach drop once more, realising what he had said.

He forced his eyes shut, as if to wish away everything that was going on around him, begging himself to take back what he had just mumbled, when an idea hit him.

"_Fucking mudblood.. Fucking.." _He feigned a continued sleep, trying to ignore the throbbing in his ankle that threatened to make him cry out.

A satisfied grunt, and then another strike against the same area, and he _very _almost felt tears well up in his eyes.

"What?" He spat out angrily. "I don't care, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Zabini. I want to sleep. Go away."

"Now now, Draco.." Came an all-too familiar voice from above him, one that made his heart falter, and not in a good way.

He sat bolt-up right, trying to cover his surprise at seeing his father standing at the end of his bed, wearing an amused-smirk.

"F-.. Fathurr?" His voice was heavy and a groan from his sleepy state, and he rubbed his eyes almost comically, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Draykuuu." His father did an impression of his voice with an ever-growing smirk on his face, which was twisting with malice. "How observant of you. Nice of you to be presentable as well, son."

"I was asleep." He argued angrily, throwing his legs off the side of his bed and standing up, smoothing his ruffled hair with a stroke of his hand.

"No excuse." His father waved a dismissive hand, moving to flick a stray strand of his shoulder-length blonde hair away from him, tucking it so it lay on his back.

"Why are you here?" Draco grumbled, unable to bother being polite, pulling himself back onto his bed, feeling annoyance prickle at him for having a disturbed sleep.

"To collect you." His father said simply. "You have some more training to attend to- me and your mother have devised a few more.. _tests.."_

"Mother?" He perked up almost instantly. "Where is she?"

Lucius fixed his son with a suspicious look, and Draco mentally kicked himself.

_I'm not supposed to know where mother is. _He cursed himself.

"She has gone on holiday, for the time being." He spoke calmly, but his eyes were daring Draco to object. "Why do you ask, Draco?"

He felt familiar anger rise in him at how his simple question was being scrutinised, but he crushed it within him desperately, reminding himself that he wasn't having a conversation with another Slytherin, but his father.

_His father. _

The words caused even more rage to build within him, the brand of a parent seemed to misplaced when it came to this..

Fighting hard to keep the malice from leaking into his voice, and only half succeeding, he simply mumbled a, "Just wondering." Before standing to pull more presentable clothes on.

"How long will I be away for?" He called, trying to keep his voice low enough to not wake up the others around him and alarm them to his leaving, but loud enough to catch his Fathers ears as he disappeared down the staircase.

"As long as necessary." Was all Draco received in response.

_Merowww._

Turning his head sharply at the sound, he looked down as the cat he had been tasked with looking after twisted around his legs, and an idea struck him.

Falling to his haunches, Draco ran a hand underneath its chin, smiling lightly as it purred.

"You're a clever familiar.." He mused quietly. "Can you do me a favour?"

The cat paused, before sitting down, wrapping a tail around its paw, its eyes sparkling with understanding.

_Salazar, strike me down. _He thought bitterly. _I don't even understand why I'm doing this myself.._

"Go to the Gryffindor common room." His voice was a whisper, in fear of being overheard, but his feline seemed to understand him perfectly. "Wait until some one lets you in.. and.."

He sighed, his heart heavy with shame.

_Oh, merlin.._

"Mudblood Granger." His voice was laced with shame, despair and disgust. "The bushy-haired one."

The cat cocked it's head to the side, it's eyes sparkling with.. _malice?_

"What the hell am I doing?" He spat out loud, kicking the cat away with a low snarl. "Stupid thing can't understand a word I'm saying. It doesn't need to."

He paused, gripping the hair at the side of his head, feeling anger build inside him. "Fucking Mudblood.. doesn't matter to me.."

Aiming a kick at his bed, he ignored the pain that shot through his foot, simply grabbing his coat and shrugging it over his shoulders with a venomous glare at the feline, who was still staring at him.

"Get out." He pushed it towards the door with a sigh, feeling the anger leaving his system as he realised that he would be soon leaving the safe, security of Hogwarts behind for the stress of whatever new '_tests'_ his father had come up with. "Go get food in the kitchens, or something. I don't care."

Heading downstairs, towards his father, Draco didn't bother to keep his movements quiet, banging and slamming his way as he headed towards the Common Room.

"You took your time."

He didn't answer, simply heading towards the entrance, glaring over his shoulder.

"Let's just get this over with."

His father nodded coldly, exiting into the cool atmosphere of the dungeons without a word.

And that's how they walked.

Without a word, without conversation, side by side, both wearing masks of cold, cruel indifference.

Draco knew he should probably be caught up in thoughts right now, as if generally was when he was dragged from his bed late at night. He should be boiling with anger and rage for being disturbed so rudely, he should have an excited tingle in his stomach at the upcoming prospect of learning new ways to brutally _kill.._

But.. he just couldn't. As they finally began to approach the grounds, crossing the cool grass which was starting to become dew-wet, he was so caught up in his thoughts he hadn't even noticed that his feline had gone in the opposite direction.

_Towards the Gryffindor tower._

But he didn't care. Not now, not yet, he couldn't find the will to care. He had only one thought, and one thought only.

A thought that was teasing him and stabbing at him with every step, one that seemed to sing in his ears in a broken tune, breaking every part of him.. slowly..

_What had happened to the mudblood?_

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, this was kinda long! XD I think. I'm not sure. I can't be bothered to rely on word count anymore. <strong>

**I hope you like this chapter, and it wasn't too confusing. :) A big shout out to Cordelia, who is a beautiful human being, and I can't wait to read your review :3**

**Thank you for reading, and sticking with me if you've got this far. I expect this fanfiction will be quite long, around 40-50 chapters, I think? I hope you don't mind staying with me!**

**ALSO. Can I just say a big thanks to **pinayflava90! **I love your fanfiction 'Remembering You' So when I saw you had reviewed my fanfic I FANGURL'D.**

**Anyway. Please review, It really motivates me!**

**-Kawi xx**


	19. Not you

_Hermione was hurting._

_Back against the cold, dead-feeling stone tiles of the bathroom, she was hurting._

_She ran a hand down to her navel, marvelling gently at the smooth skin, suppressing her disgust at its bulge, evidence of her gluttonous nature. _

_She was hurting._

_There was no crack, nor impurity in her skin. No, none. Not a cut, nor scratch, burn nor mark. _

_She was hurting from an emotional state, not a self inflicted wound._

_She rolled onto her side, shuddering at the fresh feeling of.. just something.. against her pale skin._

_A sigh escaped her lips, and she let her eyes drift shut, knowing she could teeter on the edge of sleep to steal a few minutes of semi-rest, keeping her ears perked for the sound of footsteps outside the door._

_Hermione was hurting. _

* * *

><p><em>Draco was hurting.<em>

_Harsh wind whipping his back, feet struggling against the marshy ground he was straining against, he was hurting._

"_Move, son."_

_He knew he should feel fear at the sound of such a voice, but he didn't, wouldn't. Couldn't. The sun shone brightly above him in the sky that was still only a few days old of this year, and he wondered if it was giving out any heat. He wasn't feeling it. But he presumed that was because he had retreated inside himself once more, not wanting to be a physical being, allowing his body to act on instincts. _

"_I told you to move."_

_He grunted in reply, striding slightly faster, his trouser legs getting soaked from the filthy water he was pulling himself through._

_His mind was elsewhere, and he feared he couldn't drag it back._

_What had happened to her?_

_He wasn't too fussed about whether she was okay, he could live without knowing that.._

_But part of him needed to know if he had succeeded. She felt like a challenge, an opportunity. A chance to test his skills are a saviour._

_He snorted as his thoughts began to wander, but all the same, he didn't discourage them._

_Draco was hurting. Not from fear of not knowing some ones fate, deadly or simple. Not from the fear of never seeing anyone again.._

_But his curiosity was killing him. He needed to know._

_Draco was hurting.._

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

"You're coming to Hogsmeade, aren't you?"

Harry's voice pulled her from her trance, and she lifted her head to look at him slowly, blinking in slight confusion.

"Hogsmeade..?" He suggested weakly, looking slightly annoyed.

"No." She responded instantly, looking away to poke at her food, feeling slightly annoyed at her reaction. She _did _want to go. She wanted to spend time with Harry and Ron so bad it seemed to hurt her..

So why had she said no?

She didn't know, but she found herself silently begging Harry to object to her choice, desperate to have him convince her..

"Okay."

Her heart seemed to drop at his words, and she realised that her stomach was throbbing with hunger. The sharp twangs of pain making her feel slightly.. Guilty? And without realising what she was doing, she drew a bit of bacon to her mouth, chewing on it thoughtfully, enjoying the burst of flavours it offered.

She turned her head slightly to see Harry staring at her, and she immediately stopped, returning his gaze with a sort of shy smile.

"It's good to see you eating." He praised her quietly. "You sure you don't want to come to Hogsmeade?"

She put down her fork, not finishing the food, smiling at him.

"I might as well." She pushed the plate away, her stomach now satisfied with the scrap of food she allowed it.

He returned her smile and moved closer to her, wrapping a single hand around her shoulder and squeezing her gently, before letting go, prodding some of the food she had left on her plate with a frown.

"Not going to finish?"

She shook her head, silencing him with a quick lie. "Not hungry any more."

_Liar. _Her mind accused, but she ignored it. In truth, her stomach was still straining, but it wasn't _painful- _She could ignore it. Besides, her mouth tasted horribly like dish-water, and she didn't want to make herself feel worse by staining her mouth with the soapy feeling.

She saw it on his lips, he was about to object, and she stood in an attempt to avoid it.

"When is it?" She asked, pressing on before he could speak.

"Hogsmeade?" He tilted his head to the side. "In an about an hour, listen, Hermione.."

"I'm going to return some books to the library." She announced, pulling her bag closer to herself. "I'll see you in about an hour?"

He nodded, his expression turning slightly cold and withdrawn.

Guilt pinched at her stomach, but she pushed it away, trying to adopt his expression as she turned to leave, but it fell from her face as quickly as she had gained it. She just couldn't.

Striding swiftly towards the exit, she fought her sudden urge to glance at the Slytherin table desperately, trying to ignore the sudden fire that had lit inside her, wanting to just see a glance of his platinum blonde hair..

"Hermione?"

She almost fainted when she heard the male voice, and she felt a blush run up her neck. Moving a hand to instinctively make her hair less tangled and fluffy, she turned around slowly, trying to make her movements seem hesitant.

"Ron?" She gasped, unable to help a bit of her disappointment leaking into her voice.

He smiled lamely her, shrugging his shoulders in an innocent attempt. "That's me."

She scowled, knowing he was trying to get _her _to talk to him, rather than _him _talking to her. He was already trying to make it so she was the one who would end up apologising.

She shook her head, trying to shake away the paranoia that was creeping up on her. He wasn't doing any other those things; she was just over reacting.

She thought.

She smiled pleasantly at him, waiting for him to speak. And when he didn't, she coughed.

"How are you?"

_What sort of question is that? Last time we spoke you threw me out the room and called me disgusting.._

"Fine." She replied stiffly.

An awkward silence.

"Are you going to Hogsmeade?"

She nodded, making a rough noise in the back of her throat to show she was.

"Listen, Hermione. I'm really sorry." He blubbered out, his words quick and merged. "I don't know what I was thinking.. I really didn't. I was just upset, And I.."

"I know."

"You know what?"

She took a deep breath, readjusting her bag strap. "I know you're weren't thinking."

He looked at her, a slight blush making his cheeks pink.

"So.." He reached forward to grab her hand, smiling in a goofy fashion.. "You forgive me?"

Silently moving to glare at his hand, she felt her body relax slightly. The feeling of his skin against hers, palm against palm was odd, awkward.. and yet.. it was easy- very easy.

All that disappeared as he began to trail his hand upwards, brushing away her sleeve.

Yanking her limb back, she felt tears well in her eyes as shame clawed at her. If she was normal.. if she handled her anger like a normal person.. would this of happened? No.. if only she was normal..

'_However, as me and your father have both agreed, you are not a normal human.'_

She felt a sick, twisted smile creep up on her and she realised how much like her mother she had sounded.

_Because she wasn't normal, was she?_

_No. She wasn't normal. She wasn't human._

"Hermione?" Ron's voice pulled her back from her almost pointless thought tract, and she felt her face form into an unreadable mask, her voice almost deadpan.

"Libary." She told him, avoiding looking him to directly in the eye. "I have to go."

Saying nothing, he just stared at her, his ocean-blue eyes seemingly begging her to look up.

But she didn't, she couldn't.

"Later, I guess." He mumbled, and she nodded curtly, striding away from him.

_Why the hell am I crying? _She thought desperately and she felt warm tears run down her cheek.

_It's not like anything has changed. Ron'll mess up again somehow.. and say sorry again. Same old pattern. I forgive, I trust, and someone breaks it. Not even my mother could keep a promise of loving me forever._

She absent-mindedly moved to run her fingers across her scraped arm as she continued onto the library, keeping her head down to avoid stares.

_I can trust myself. _She told herself quietly. _After all, I can't betray myself, can I?_

Cringing in pain as she frayed a small scab, she shoved her sleeve down, fighting the urge to touch the flaw.

_But.. can I?_

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

"Go."

Head already pounding, Draco desperately put on a burst of speed, trying to ignore the sick feeling of slime slapping against his torn trouser legs, trying to even his breathing in an attempt to steady himself.

With a grimace, he twisted himself around, bringing his hands to shield his face instinctively, ducking into a half-crouch, feeling his eyes narrow with concentration.

_Swish, _The sound of a spell souring of his head, and the tut of approval from his father. Stepping back slightly, he threw himself to his feet, moving his wand in the appropriate motion to deliver a sharp, stunning spell.

_Too slow. _He thought bitterly as his father threw up a reversing shield, rolling to the side to avoid the spell that was redirected towards him.

"Fool!"

At the spat word, Draco knew he was done for. Squirming in the muddy water, he tried to clamber upwards, but the slick ground made it impossible for him to get a grip.

"_Brambiculis."_He heard his father growl, and his heart dropped as he realised what was going to happen.

No sooner than the word had been spoken, Draco felt thick, winding brambles claw their way up his leg, and he bit down hard on his tongue as their thorns ripped through the bare amounts of fabric that had remained and dug deep into his skin.

"Shhnaa!" The noise slipped from his lips without his consent, and he grimaced as he felt the blood filling his mouth that had over flowered from his tongue drip down onto his chest, the warm liquid running past his heart.

He shuddered.

"Get up, Draco." He heard his father sigh.

"I can't." He grumbled out, shaking his leg.

"But you can." He heard a robe swish past his face, and the rancid breath of his father suddenly overtook him. "I did not remove your wand. You could of gotten rid of those brambles instantly."

_Of-fucking-course. _He growled inwardly. _Stupid.. fucking.._

Moving his hand lazily, Draco directed his wand towards his thorny chains, sending a simple cutting spell to slice through them, stretching his now free-limb with some hesitance.

Pulling himself from his back to a sitting position, he pulled up the ragged remains of his trouser leg, running his wand over the wounds to heal them as quickly and efficiently as he could, _without_ exhausting himself.

"Can't we just go to the Manor, already? I don't see why we're... Where are we?" He grimaced as he pulled himself to his feet, placing bare amounts of weight on his barely-healed leg.

"We're on our way to the Manor."

Glancing around, Draco took his surroundings in with a cool expression, feeling his fathers eyes on him, determined not to give anything away.

No emotions. No nothing.

The ground beneath him was slick and wet from the January rain that had hit them rather suddenly, and the mud had been churned up by the constant duelling he had been forced to take part in. Sparse trees towered above them, casting shadows against the little amount of sunshine that had peeked through today, casting away any warmth it could of offered. The sky remained clear.. yet grey. Dull.. stormy clouds lay waiting on the horizon, almost glaring at the sun in an attempt to scare it away.

A harsh breeze had began to pick up in the past few hours of mindless fighting, but Draco barely felt it. He was too exhausted to care about much any more. He had healed the flesh wounds, and readjusted any out of place bones, but healing spells drained had a nasty habit of draining energy..

"Why couldn't we just apparate there?" He huffed, doing his best to fix his clothes with his wand, his shoddy work clearing showing as his trousers ended up ankle-length.

"Because your mother is sorting out a situation at the manor." He father explained, with the air of someone about to tell a great story.

"A situation?" Draco interrupted almost instantly. "What sort?"

Fixing his son with a calm, neutral stare, he continued as if he was never interrupted. "We were raided a few nights ago by a party of Mudbloods." He laughed darkly. "They come knocking down our doors, blasting past our house-elfs with little disregard, tearing down years-old paintings and breaking everything in sight."

_No._

Draco felt a flicker of doubt towards his fathers words, frowning. He hated Mudbloods as much as the next Pureblood, but that didn't sound like something that _they'd _do. They were a submissive race; never rising towards the taunts and discrimination given. Only trying to handle it in a political sense. Outbursts of violence were rare- _very rare._

"You're mother was understandably terrified. She ran screaming from the dungeons, trying to get rid of them without hurting them, but of course, did they listen? No."

_Mother._

Draco had seen the flicker of annoyance pass his Fathers face as he had muttered the sentence, and he found himself doubting his doubts..

If his father had rehearsed that story in order to lie to Draco, surely he wouldn't give himself the opportunity to slip out a truth such as that? He knew his father was hiding his mothers capture from him..

_What if his father wasn't' telling him a lie? _

It was a possibility; besides. Draco wasn't really an expert on Mudbloods. He didn't know what they where like; the only experience he had of them remained with those who he attended classes with.

And.. they weren't the nicest..

With a rather violent jolt, Draco realised he had never really formed an opinion on Mudbloods.

Sure, he had been brought up by his parents who harboured enough hatred to fill a ocean.. But he had never given it much thought. Simply living in their shadow and and occasionally filling his fathers footprints to try and form himself in the best way possible..

Kicking the floor angrily, he felt a spurt of anger surge in him at the raid that had taken place at his house. He wanted nothing more to be able to kick back, and relax in his bed. He desperately wanted his Mothers house elf to be able to tend to his wounds in its unique way..

He huffed, turning his glare to his father.

"Where are we supposed to sleep?"

Lucius waved his hand, starting to move forwards, throwing the words over his shoulder.

"A friends. His house isn't far from here."

Turning his silver gaze to the sky, Draco felt pit-pats on rain tap his shoulder, and he pulled his robe closer around him, before following his father.

_I wonder if she's inside.. or if she's caught out in the rain.. _

With an audible snarl, he wanted to claw the thought in his head until it lay in shreds. He wanted to rip it out and stamp on it until it bled. Banish it from existence and make it suffer..

Bringing his hands up to his head, he dug his nails into his scalp, grimacing as he felt the small bumps of scars he had left before.

"Draco?"

He father had turned around to look at him curiously, but the blonde simply shook his head, looking away.

Lucius nodded, casting a quick spell over himself to shield himself from the majority of the rain, before continuing on.

_I hope she's inside. _

He couldn't help the thought, and he mentally kicked himself, willing the rain to come hard. Hard enough to wash away the shameful thoughts he carried.

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

_A common way to reduce stress it to count to ten, or, a few calming spells have been recently approved in order to help the young witch or wizard._

Desperately trying to concentrate on the words in front of her, she ran her eyes down the list of spells, along with how to perform them, jotting them down on a small piece of parchment next to her.

_Another way, which is less advised, it to put oneself into a rather deep sleep when an extreme bout of anger, or anxiety is about to emerge within oneself. Spells below. _

Jotting them down, she felt her concentration waver..

_A worried parent should always keep an eye on their young witch or wizards emotional state. Extreme cases can lead to the youth taking their anger out on his or herself. This includes Self-harm, which can be found in the form of.._

Angrily slamming the book shut, Hermione glared in alarm at her own action. The logical part of her knew she should read on; more information about the subject would broaden her awareness of it. Which would be safer..

But she couldn't bring herself to.

Reading those words felt so _dam _familiar. She had read a similar book when she had been rather rudely interrupted by.. By him..

At the thought, Hermione felt herself instantly shifting, grimacing. She didn't want to think about _him. _She had no reason to. He was just some bloodist Pureblood..

But was he..?

_He showed me such.. an almost human side.. in the library.. like he was opening up.. I only talked to him civilly for a few moments.. _

_He must have a human side to not want me to.. do that.. to my arm.. won't he?_

She almost laughed at the irony she was facing. After years of putting up with Ginnys ramblings about her obsession for guys who didn't even know she existed, she was now facing the same situation herself..

_But I'm different. I don't have feelings for Malfoy.. I.. I just.._

Her logical side posed a fair argument; when her mind was at her weakest, and her will at its lowest, she had felt so unfamiliar and disgusted in her own skin that the sudden flashbacks of his voice was a sense of familiarity- a sense of security. It could have been anyone her mind conjured up.. it just happened to be the Slytherin..

Pressing her forehead to her book, she glanced at the watch on her wrist, taking a few moments to read it.

_I have half an hour before I have to go.. I can have a quick nap.. I'll need it for Hogsmeade.. _

With a defeated sigh, she shifted her head into a more comfortable position, feeling her weary lids drift shut.

_Wherever he is.. _She thought drowsily, before sleep took her into its calming embrace. _I hope he's okay._

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

The house Draco had been confronted with wasn't what he had been expecting, it must be said.

The forest they had been trudging through had gently and slowly fanned out into a small village.

And by small, he meant small.

A few shops dotted around a crossroad, but they looked completely deserted. Wooden planks barred any entry and the windows had been long-smashed, its stock already looted. A small river ran around the village almost like a mote, stretching into quite a depth of water, making Draco grimace at the thought of falling in.

The weather and rain had really kicked in, quickly turning into torrential rain in a few moments or so, leaving Draco completely soaked.. and he didn't have any of the release he had hoped for from the pouring water.

"How much further?" He grumbled, crossing the decayed bridge that lead into the seeming abandoned village, causing Draco to doubt its stability.

"Not long." His fathers voice had turned strained with annoyance at the constant questions his Son had began to fire at him, but Draco could hardly give a fuck. The blond wizard was bored out of his skull and if annoying his father was to become his entertainment, then so be it.

They walked through a few streets in complete silence, the occasional scamper of a rat, or the flutter of a bird breaking the awkward atmosphere.

Soon, they came to a stop infront of a small, stone house. It was a typical house- no fancy outside furnishings, just a few windows, and a bright red door.

It was very _muggle _looking.

Lucius strode forward a few steps, using his cane to rap on the door twice.

With a groan, the house began to morph before his eyes. Windows morphed into more windows, become painted glass in a fraction of a second, balconys appearing as it began to grow, the front garden slowly extending behind them, a few fancy ornaments emerging. The rubble stone wall had transformed into a strong, dark marble-looking material that looked freezing to touch.

_It looks like the manor. _Draco thought in a bored tone, fighting the urge to yawn. He wasn't impressed by the transformation as most would have been; the same spell had been cast on his own house to be rid of intruding muggles, or unwanted visitors, for that matter.

"Lucius?"

A fat, balding man appeared at the door, bowing slightly as he met the older Malfoys gaze.

"Sov." Lucius acknowledged lazily, stepping inside the house without bothering to exchange any more words. "Everything is in order?"

"Of course." The man called Sov replied, before twisting around to glare at Draco with a strange sort of familiarity in his eyes.

The first to strike Draco was the fact that the man had a very strange scar above his eyebrow. Roughly shaped into what looked like a seven. The skin that made the shape was only slightly lighter than the rest, and Draco had to strain to see it.

Apart from that, Draco had to admit at a first glance the man looked just very overweight.. apart from the fact his teeth where strangely sharp, his fingernails broken and torn, bloodied and covered in mud.. his remaining hair covered in strikes of what looked like filth.

_Werewolf.. _Draco guessed, not really caring.

Sov bowed his head, grinning at Draco.

"Nice to see you, Draco." He wheezed, his voice sounding strained.

"We've never met." Draco blinked, his voice forming back into the cold, harsh mask he had perfected over the years.

Sov laughed- more of a bark than a laugh, moving aside to allow Draco's entrance into the house.

Without another word, Draco shoved past him. Not liking the lack of respect he heard in the mans voice. He was a _Malfoy _for fuck sake. How dare a stranger greet him so casually?

"Go to bed, Draco." He heard a voice snarl at him down the long corridor that greeted him when he entered, and he almost laughed in annoyance.

"Where? And _why? _It's not even night." He spat back, not bothering to keep the malice from his voice.

"First door on your left." His father shouted a reply just as bitterly. "And shut up, Draco. Unless you want to sleep outside."

With a huff, Draco realised he hadn't enough energy to snap back, so he trudged forward, following his fathers instructions and entering the first door on his left.

Not bothering to take in his surroundings, he lunged for the first thing in his vision. A long, body-length mirror.

Not caring about the blood that burst from his knuckles, he pulled his fist back and rammed into it angrily.. over and over.. until there was nothing left to smash.

Glaring down at his broken hand, soiled with crimson, he laughed.

His laugh was cold. The cold laugh he used when he was with his friends.. the mask..

But was it really a mask any more?

He laughed again, as if to test himself.

_So cold.._

Falling back onto the shabby bed, he felt his eyes close instantly, desperately trying to block out what was happening.

The cold, harsh mask he put on was like a seed..

And it looked like the seed was taking root.

_Whatever Granger is doing.. _He thought bitterly. _I bet she's having a better time than me.. _

Rolling over, he felt his eyes drift shut, his body curling up.

* * *

><p>"<em>He fell for it?"<em>

_Lucius nodded briefly, taking a sip of the steaming coffee he grasped in his hand. _

"_Perfect. What's happening at the manor?" Sov took a seat from across the blond, chewing on a biscuit slowly._

"_Narcissa is still under lockdown." Lucius sighed briefly, no emotion in his words. "She'll remain for a while. I have the house elves looking after the place."_

_Sov laughed weakly, stretching._

"_He's only a boy, Lucius. I don't see why.."_

"_Why I want him to serve while so young?" Lucius finished for him, smiling in a sick fashion. "If he fails, Narcissa is able to bare another child still. I don't want to wait until it's too late.."_

"_You talk abut your son.." Sov paused, as if weighing his words. "Like he's a pawn."_

"_No. Draco isn't a pawn yet." Lucius stood, brushing his hair back with his hand. "He needs to be shaped. He thinks I can't see it in him.. but I can."_

"_See what?"_

"_He's still has the spark of emotion in his eyes. He still has empathy within him.."_

"_You sound like you're trying to destroy everything human about the boy."_

_Lucius laughed. A harsh, cold sound._

"_Who says I'm not?"_

_Without a word, Lucius closed the door behind him, leaving Sov to rub the scar above his eyebrows in thought._

"_Oh, Draco.. What your father'll do if you carry on.." He mumbled to himself._

* * *

><p><strong>LONG CHAPTER IS LONG.<strong>

**Proof-read time.**

**I have to go. I'm being shouted at. XD Sorry I took so long to upload. But this is double the length I normally do! Can I get massive reviews for this, please? Pretty please?**

**Thank you so much for your reviews already. Massive thanks to my anons on tumblr, and everyone who reads!**

**Also, I love you Cordelia. So much. You mean the world to me, and I might aswell go ahead and dedicate this whole fanfiction to you!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**-Kawi xx**


	20. Three Times

"Mrs Granger? Oh, Mrs Granger!"

Trying to manoeuvre herself through the bustling corridor, Hermione almost had to fight her way towards Mcgonagall, earning herself a few shouts as she found herself having to shove a few people away if she didn't want to loose her footing.

"Coming, Miss!" She called back desperately, stumbling through the sheer crowd.

Practically lunging forward, she felt her palm grasp thick, smooth marble and she pulled herself along with it, gritting her teeth in concentration.

"Miss.. Mcgonagall.." She gasped as she finally stood next to her professor, clutching her side as a painful stitch snarled at her.

Her teacher smiled at her, giving her a small pat on the shoulder. "I don't know how you do it, Mrs Granger.. It's like an ocean out there.."

Hermione laughed lightly, brushing her robes down to try and make herself appear less scruffy, before turning her attention back to her professor.

"Is there anything you needed, Miss?" Hermione asked politely, trying to keep her tone even, despite the fact she was panting like a dog who had just run a mile.

"Oh, yes!" Mcgonagall seemed to remember herself, reaching to pull out a piece of parchment from her pocket. "We've got a new student starting today, you see. And, well.. She's in your year. And in most of your classes. But.. she expressed that she's a little nervous. The school she came from was _a lot _smaller than Hogwarts is. And I was wondering if you'd be willing to show her around a bit?"

Hermione blinked a couple of times, before realising what was being asked. She had never heard of the notion being used in a wizarding school.. The sort of 'Buddy' system of pairing up a new student with an existing one was generally a muggle tradition. Most Wizards and Wtiches didn't transfer schools from one to another, it was generally unheard of.

"Of course I wouldn't mind." Hermione smiled pleasantly, inwardly grimacing. She had a lot of studying to do at the best of times.. and having to sort out a new girl would be add to her stress if she ended up a prissy little _bitch._

Mentally kicking herself for her swearing, she realised she was more tired than she must of felt, her crankiness leaking into her thoughts.

"She's waiting in the Gryffindor common room at the moment, if you'd like to go up and meet her. What lesson did you have next?"

"Potio-.. Care of Magical creatures." She corrected herself midway, realising she still couldn't attend her Potions class due to Snape _still _being ill. "Malfoy is my partner, he'll be on his own.."

Waving her hand dismissively, Mcgonagall almost tutted. "Mr Malfoy is currently away from school for some time, it will be fine. You have my permission to skip your next period to tend to the girl."

"Where is he?" The words fell from her mouth without any thought, and her whole mind seemed to shut off as she felt irrational fear rise in her chest at the information of his whereabouts. She _had _to know. _Needed _to know.

"_She. _Is waiting for you in the Gryffindor common room, like I said.." Mcgonagall cast her a confused look, as if questioning her ability to remember something said only a few seconds again.

"_Malfoy." _Hermione's voice had taken on an almost whine, and she felt like she had to hold herself back from shaking Mcgonagall. "Where is he?"

Mcgonagall was now staring at the student in front of her like Hermione had gone _positively _mental. But Hermione couldn't bring herself to care.. or even realise.

"He is away with his Father.." She spoke slowly, as if talking to a handicap. "We're not sure where.. Perhaps you should go and look after your new class-mate, Miss Granger.."

Shaking her head, and realising just how stupid she had been, she nodded swiftly, turning around to try and tackle the now slightly-less crowded corridors, trying to force the blonde haired wizard from her mind.

"Hermione!"

Letting out a long sigh, she tried to block out the call of her name, barely in the mood to listen to anyone else.

"Hermione, please!"

The wheezing voice wasn't behind her, she realised with a sigh, but in front of her.. and she was headed straight towards it. She considered veering away and taking another route in order to avoid the new distraction..

But it would take too long. Besides, she could shrug her way out of this conversation.

"Hermione!"

Hurrying forward, the corridors now remained basically deserted apart from a few students appearing at doors from being sent out, and a few late-comers. She followed the voice as well as she could, trying to focus on its source.

Before she could reach it, however, she felt a gasp slip from her mouth as she felt a pair of rough hands grasp her shoulders and neck, yanking her back into a shadowy corner cast by a large marble pillar.

Opening her mouth to scream in protest, Hermione felt her chest suddenly constrict, and the hand that once had her neck in a vice grip moved to cover her lips.

"Shh!" Came a hoarse whisper near her ear, and Hermione realised with a jolt who it was. "If I release you, you must not make a sound!"

Nodding roughly, Hermione breathed out heavily as her restriction released her, and she stumbled back slightly, trying to keep herself upright.

"Professor Trelawney?" She managed to say, clutching her side as her stitch returned.

"No time!" The bug-eyed professor wheezed, reaching desperately into her pocket and pulling out what looked like a handful of herbs, and throwing them over her shoulder, before diving into her bag.

"Is there anything..?" She suggested weakly, but she was cut of by an almost feral hiss from the teacher in front of her, so she kept her mouth shut.

Trelawney rummaged amongst her stuff for a few minutes or so, before her face began to light up as she pulled out what appeared to be a long, thorny leaf.

"Professor, I need to go.. I have to.."

Suddenly, the seer almost lunged forward, capturing Hermione's arm in an angry vice-grip, yanking her closer.

Hermione wanted to scream as Trelawney began to peel back her sleeve, and she tried with all her might to jerk her arm away.. but it was no use. She was trapped.

A slash of cold air hit her now bare arm, and she looked up to try to search the teachers eyes for some sort of reaction at seeing her flawed skin, but there was none. Not even a blink passed Trelawney's face.

"_Three times your future shall leave you." _Her voice had turned cold, deadpan.. and yet rough, broken, angry. "_Three times you shall have a chance."_

"Professor, please!" Hermione cried out, trying to push herself away.

With an almost snarl emitting from the seer, Hermione felt herself being slammed against the wall, the thorny leaf moving to lay rest against her neck.

"_By the time the feline purrs, it will be too late. Curiosity killed the cat!"_

And, without another word, Trelawney pulled herself away, crumpling the leaf in her hand, shoving the remains into her pocket, and continuing on as if nothing had happened.

"Professor?" Hermione called out, her voice shaky, unsure of what had just happened.

Yanking her sleeve back down, and brushing herself off, she felt her mind-spin slightly as she regained her regular breath pattern.

"New girl." She mumbled to herself, straightening her priorities out. "New girl."

Pulling her bag closer to herself and stepping from the shadows, she sighed. Unable to help the words running through her head.

'_Three times your future shall leave you. Three times you shall have a chance. By the time the feline purrs, it will be too late. Curiosity killed the cat!'_

"New girl." She whispered to herself, climbing the staircases that led to her common room.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco<strong>

Draco hadn't slept that night.

Draco didn't even know if he remembered how to sleep.

Tossing and turning, he ripped the covers away from him as he felt a small ray of sunshine creep through the only window in the cramped room and warm his stomach slightly. Shifting in his bed, he manoeuvred himself so the light shone gently on the top of his chest. Just where his heart was.

_Or, where it used to be. _He teased himself with the cheesy thoughts in a self-pitying fashion, straining his ears to try and pick up any conversation that was being held around the house he was being locked in..

But, alas, there was nary a sound. Only the occasional creek and rumble as the house settled.

Releasing the breath he had been holding, he moved to run a hand across his bare stomach, his ragged shirt laying abandoned after hours of tossing and turning. His fingers traced the bare skin, his once toned chest now loosing some of its shape from the lack of Quiditch he had taken part in.

None the less, his skin was pure, fresh. No flaws, nor scars..

_I wonder if she has a scar._

Not enough energy to fight back his unwanted thoughts, he did the only thing he could, he accepted them.

Although his little 'Dream episode' was now in the past, it still haunted his almost every thought. It frustrated him that he couldn't come up with an answer nor explanation for it. He didn't even know where to start when it came to trying to work it out..

And yet, curiosity was killing him. All aside, ignoring the fact that he was still trying to make sense of the information, he was forcing himself to get to the bare basics.

_What are the fucking bare basics? _He snarled to himself bitterly. _Oh, yeah. On some subconscious fucking level, while my mind was supposed to be at peace, resting, I managed to connect myself, and in that, my very essence, my fucking soul, as some people call it, to the Mudblood. The filthy disgusting Mudblood I would rather die than know about._

Twisting around to glare at the smashed mirror next to him, he found himself wishing that he had held his temper last night. Because, right now, he needed to just..

_Kill something innocent. _He thought with a sick grin.

Pulling himself upwards, he kicked the shirt away at his feet with a sigh, not bothering to cover his chest up, owing to the fact he had no intention of leaving his room for a while. Casting a critical glance over his surroundings, he searched for something that could capture his interest.

He spent the majority of his morning ransacking the room.

Pulling out and removing almost all the drawers that surrounded him, he earned himself a few galleons that had been left or dropped down the back of the furnishings. A few scraps of parchments now lay covered in doodles he had randomly scribbled down, the majority of them a miss-mash of snakes, a few Latin words and something that looked oddly like a chameleon.

The crooked and broken wardrobe now lay empty, the few clothes that had hung depressively now lay in tatters, cut to pieces as Draco worked on perfecting the spells his father had taught him.

Out of sheer boredom than anything else, he had charmed the walls to change colour every hour or so; a way to tell time. At first, they remained their drab grey, but as time passed they alternated between Green, silver, blue, orange, purple, red..

It didn't take him long to grow bored of his new found toys, and when he did he was stumped for ideas. Deciding that messing with the lights might be a good idea, he climbed atop of his bed and began working unscrewing everything, not risking getting an electric shock from his shoddy work, when there was a single tap against his door.

"Piss off." He called out, not in the mood for company, still continuing with his work.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Came a harsh shout, and with a jolt Draco realised who he was talking to.

"What'd you want, Father?" He evened his voice slightly, still bitter and angry, yet a slight undertone of knowing respect.

"We have things to discuss. Get yourself presentable and meet me in the kitchen."

"Are we leaving?" He felt a flicker of hope leak into his voice, but he didn't care. "Are we?"

"No." His voice replied bluntly. "Kitchen, Draco."

With a sigh, Draco pulled himself down from his bed, leaving the light half-hanging off, electrical wires now exposed.

"Coming.." He mumbled quietly, despite the fact that he knew no one could hear him.

Shrugging his shirt over his head, he pulled the curtains to, blocking out the only ray of sunshine that graced his room.

"Coming.." He repeated, heaving a massive sigh, before forming his face once more.

Narrowed eyes, signature smirk, raised eyebrows.

"Coming." He almost snarled, his voice hard and cold.

* * *

><p><em>Hermione.<em>

…

"Err... New girl?" Hermione called out lamely, entering the common room with a frown. "New girl?"

She hadn't been able to find this whoever she was supposed to be guiding, and was slowly running out of patients. If only she knew the girls name. She felt like a bit of an idiot yelling out _new girl.._

"Hermione?"

Breathing a sigh of relief as her calls were finally answered, she spun away, coming nose to nose with who must be '_New Girl.'_

Long, curly locks of dirty blonde hair fell to the shoulders of the girl who stood in front of her, and Hermione felt herself be slightly taken back as bright, sky-blue eyes suddenly met hers, a small coat of a mascara lining them.

Backing up slightly, Hermione smiled pleasantly, offering a hand to the new girl out of politeness.

The girl gave an awkward smile, taking Hermione's hand and shaking it a few times, before letting her hand to drop back to her side, her eyes betraying how nervous she was.

"You must be..." Hermione began, trying to sound as confident as she could.

"Cordelia." The girl answered back quietly, tossing her head back slightly to move some of the hair that had fallen over her eyes. "It's very nice to meet you." The second time she spoke, her voice was stronger..

_She's getting more comfortable already._

Grinning back encouragingly, Hermione took the chance to examine the girl a little closer- looking past the blonde hair and blue eyes, she noted that Cordelia's cheeks where slightly to large for her face, and one of her eyes had the slightest of droops.

Running her eyes up and down as subtly as she could, she was slightly taken back by just how pale Cordelia was. Her skin was almost the colour of _milk, _for god sake. Had this girl never heard of the _sun?_

"Brilliant." Cordelia smiled. "Thank you so much for showing me around, Hermione. It means a lot."

"No problem, Cordelia." Hermione grinned back, but she felt some of the emotion within it waver as the little episode between the seer suddenly return to her.

"You can call me Col', if you'd like." Cordelia grinned, already looking more confident that Hermione had ever felt. "I was called Cauliflower when I was in nursery.. I'm not sure why."

Hermione laughed quietly, and, acting on an instinct, she reached to pull the blonde into a hug.

Despite hearing the other girl give a nervous laugh, she didn't pull back, simply hugging tighter.

"You okay, Hermione?" She heard her voice near her ear ask, and she felt the girls arms wrap around her, hugging her in a friendly manner.

"I'm okay.." She mumbled out, trying to stop her voice from shaking, pulling away.

"I'm a bit socially awkward.. I'll warn you.." Cordelia seemed to change the subject with a light grin. "I'm not sure if your fellow Gyffindors will be too keen on me.."

"You'll be fine." Hermione assured her, understanding her feelings slightly. "Did your old school have houses?"

"We did.. I was placed in the one that would have been equivalent to _Slytherin _here.. but when I was brought here, the sorting hat told me I would course better in _Gryffindor." _Col explained, her voice breaking slightly, her nerves still poking their way through, causing her to stumble over her words slightly. "I'm a pureblood, aswell, although my family isn't as well known, nor as rich as the others. So, I thought that would get me placed in Slytherin, but.." She shrugged, rambling slightly.

"Pureblood?" Hermione blinked. "Oh.. Well, I'm muggle-born." She puffed her chest out in the slightest. "As long as that doesn't bother you.."

Col smiled, playing with a strand of her hair, wrapping it around her finger. "Of course it doesn't. My mother has always been a bit off towards Muggle-borns.. but my father tries to discourage her.. Although they both always hint at me that they'd be happier if I married another pureblood into the family.."

Hermione smiled at her; all to familiar from the notion. She had read about it in numerous books. Although few pureblood families still actively discriminated against their Muggle-born fellows, they still preferred full magical blood to be pumped into their family.. although this was a tradition mostly kept behind closed doors. An unpopular opinion.

Families like the Malfoys, however, still held no shame against vocalising their opinion against _mudbloods.._

"Hermione?"

Shaking her head, she forced herself to the present, fixing Col with a confused look.

Running a hand through her blonde curls, she smiled awkwardly. "I said, what lesson do we have next?"

Rummaging in her robe to pull out her crumple time-table, she traced the words with her wand with a frown, before reaching the correct day.

"Charms." She smiled. "In about half an hour.. You can meet Harry and Ron."

Col laughed nervously, falling back to sit in one of the comfy armchairs that littered the room.

Hermione pretended to be looking for something inside her bag in an attempt to give herself some time to think.

_I should be in Care Of Magical Creatures.. Someone'll have to look after the pup for me.. _She sighed, rearranging books inside her bag. _I should be there with Draco.._

Slamming her back shut, she mentally slapped herself, shoving the bag down with a bit of unneeded force.

Taking a seat opposite Cordelia, she stretched, trying to shove the thoughts from her mind.

"How are you, 'Mione?" Col smiled pleasantly, and Hermione grabbed onto the small talk instantly, happy for the distraction.

_A distraction.._

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

"What'd you mean, she's hurt?" Draco spat, throwing the table away in front of him with an angered growl, turning to glare at his Father.

"I mean.." Lucius drawled slowly. "She's hurt. She was injured in the raid."

Bringing his fingers once more to his head, he gripped a handful of his hair and ripped it from his head, a feral bubbling at his lips.

"We should have been there! We could of protected her from those _fucking bad-blood bastards!" _Draco was in his right mind to throttle the life from his father, but he tried to hold onto his violent urges, knowing he could take them out in better ways.

"Your anger is impressive, Draco. However, you must calm yourself." Lucius said rather lazily, making himself a cup of tea.

"Why are you so _dam _calm? MOTHER. IS. INJURED!"

"She is being dealt with, however. Or, tended to, would be a better word."

"Stop being so indifferent, so cold!" Draco spat, striding to glare at his father eye-to-eye. "You married her, didn't you? You should give a flying _fuck _if she's injured!"

"She will recover." His father replied evenly.

Feeling frustration ball inside him until he couldn't take it any more, Draco lashed out, slamming his fist against the cold, marble wall with an almighty _bang._

Blood burst from his still-healing knuckles, but the adrenalin rushing through his veins blocked out any of the pain that accompanied it.

"You're not even human, are you?" Draco's voice adopted a low, angry, almost teasing tone. "You don't have a heart. It must be made of _fucking stone._"

Lucius said nothing, simply fixing his son with a curious stare.

"What happened to you?" Draco finished with a question, his voice turning back into his cold mask. "Because I sure as hell don't want that to happen to me.."

Without another word, Draco strode from the kitchen as quickly as his legs could carry him, wincing as the pain from his knuckles suddenly hit him full force.

Ripping the his pseudo bedroom door open, he literally threw himself inside, lunging for the first thing he could; the wooden wardrobe.

Bucking a single leg like a horse, he violently slammed the door shut, not wanting any disturbance.

And that's how he spent his day.

Ignoring the pain of splinters and such, he ripped through the wood as quickly and as viciously as possible. Magic crackled through his veins, making it so much easier for him than he expected. Ripping off the two doors that already hung loosely from their hinges, he stamped as hard as he could on them, before ripping out the single drawer at the bottom, swinging it in his arms and slamming it against the wall with all the might he could muster.

As the sun rose higher into the sky, he felt his energy diminish, and he eventually found himself falling backwards, and landing onto his soft mattress.

Twisting his hands in front of him in almost awe, he counted the splinters that had lodged into his skin with a sick smile, before getting distracted by the sound of something slipping from his pocket.

Crawling to lean over the edge of his bed, he leant down to pick up the scrap of paper that had fallen.

"My timetable." He mumbled, his voice rough, and hoarse.

Boredom prickling at him, he flicked it open with a sigh.

Tracing his finger across the current day, he realised with a jolt he _should have been_ in Care of Magical Creatures right now..

_The stupid pup'll need looking after.. Incompetent Granger won't be able to do anything.._

With a sigh, he rolled onto his back, suddenly he wishing he was anywhere away from here.

_Even with Granger.. and her breath.. oh, her sweet, fresh breath.._

He felt a smile prickle on his lips, and he felt his body relax slightly..

His thoughts began to flicker back to his mother.. the thought of her broken body laying limp on the dungeon floor as people stepped over her as if she was nothing.. Her blood.. her beautiful.. scarlet blood..

_The mudbloods, stepping over her.. as if she was nothing._

"The mudbloods did this!" The worlds bubbled at his lips and he found himself on his feet, pulling his wand from his pocket and jamming it against his timetable, burning a vicious skull-shaped burn into the box that held the lesson he shared with Granger..

"The _Mudbloods _did this.." He laughed manically, the burn getting bigger.

_I wish they hadn't.. _He thought quietly.

"But they did.. They fucking..."

* * *

><p><strong>Proof-read timme.<strong>

**Enjoy 'le chapter! Sorry it took so long to get up! XD I've been quite busy lately.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 17K VIEWS AND 100+ REVIEWS! It means so much to me that you guys like this! When I proof-read it, I'm like 'This is terrible..' but when you review it, it cheers me up so much! I love you all sooo much!**

**Please, review this chapter. I can never explain how happy reviews make me!**

**Until next time.**

**-Kali**

**xx**


	21. Meetings

_Hermione._

"Did you have the same lessons as we do, in your old school?"

Walking through the empty corridors, Hermione found herself generally intrigued by the conversation she was holding with Cordelia. The blonde has a very.. unusual nature. Ranging from going deadly quiet to the point of which Hermione would worry she was about to burst into hysterical sobs, to very, _very _loud, giving Hermione a head-ache.

Col was currently almost bouncing like a hyped up rabbit, staying a few steps ahead of Hermione at all times.

"Oh, yeah." Her voice was surprisingly calm, almost deadpan. "Except we had a few muggle subjects laced in." She paused to shrug, as if utterly confused by this notion herself. "We had a choice. We could take languages, such as German, Spanish, or French. Or we could study extra English, in a sense of grammar. Or extra Maths. But not a lot of people chose them."

"I can't imagine why." Hermione replied rather easily, pausing to lean against one of the marble pillars. "I'd relish in the ability to experience muggle subjects. It must be interesting.."

Col shrugged once more in return. "It was a lot of homework. And we didn't have time for it."

Twisting slightly to press the nape of her neck against the cold of the marble, she felt a flicker of fear and sudden remembrance press against her throat, and she swore she could almost _smell _her whacky Divinations teachers scent from here, clogging up her nose, overtaking each sense..

'_Three times your future shall leave you. Three times you shall have a chance. By the time the feline purrs, it will be too late. Curiosity killed the cat!'_

"Hermione?"

_Three times.. My future. A chance? Three chances.. _She thought desperately, a sudden panic gripping her chest, almost restricting her breath. _A purring feline? Too late? Too late for what? _

The riddles swam through her head in twisting turning patterns, almost leaving her in a state that was more confused than she began with.

_Curiosity killed the cat?_

The final line hit her with barbed hands, lifting her from her trance like state with a small intake of air.

"Hermione?" Cordelia's voice was tinged with annoyance, and a dash of impatience lingered in her eyes. "Aren't we going to Charms..?"

"Charms." Hermione repeated almost instantly, gripping onto the word with full force, trying to keep it as a focus, clearing her mind, staying in the present.

"Charms." Cordelia smiled at her. "What time does the lesson start?"

Shaking her head at her sudden stupidity, Hermione pulled out her crumpled timetable from her pocket, inspecting a small bunch of slanted and scrawled numbers in the corner.

"I've charmed it." Hermione explained as Col gave her a confused look. "It'll tell me how long until the next lesson starts. We have.. fifteen minutes. The class-room is literally in the next corridor."

Sighing, Cordelia moved herself so she was slumped against Hermione's pillar, closing her eyes slightly.

"Not too long." She observed.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

"What have you done, son?"

Lucius drawl was almost distant upon his ears, and Draco felt the urge to push it away, to curl, recede away into some sort of invisible form.

"Show me your hand."

Sticking out his hand in a robotic fashion, he slumped slightly, his back falling against the foot of his broken and smashed bed.

He heard a tut, and he peered through his eyes to asses the damage himself.

Splinters stuck out of every angle of his hand, dried blood mixing with fresh scarlet liquid that was starting to emerge as he flexed and twisted. His knuckles now almost shone with purple and yellow bruises, one of them looking like they had been scraped down to the very bone. His fingers seemed to stick out at a rather odd angle, but he felt himself shrugging, going to pull back his hand from his fathers inspection.

"S'nothing." He mumbled in a quiet, yet defiant voice, shame prickling under his skin.

Straightening up, Lucius narrowed his eyes slightly, the slight amount of fatherly care that had leaked into his posture almost evaporating at once.

"Then get up." He twisted around almost elegantly, and Draco snorted at the almost ballerina move.

"Let me guess.." Draco pushed himself up with his elbows, not risking putting weight on his hands. "More bad news? More training? Who got injured this time?" He spat out bitterly, moving to slick his greasy hair back with his more competent hand.

"Don't sound so.." Lucius paused at the door frame, twisting to look at Draco over his shoulder. "Reluctant. I know very will you enjoy what I teach you."

Opening his mouth to object to his fathers claims, the blonde found himself closing it, turning away slightly.

"No matter, Draco; I'm leaving. Once you have gotten yourself presentable, you will meet Sov in the kitchen. He'll further instruct you."

Rolling his eyes, Draco felt his mouth curve into an almost snarl, and he didn't bother to question it, simply allowing words to roll from his tongue with ease.

"If you're leaving, then fuck off." He paused, licking his dry lips. "I don't want your fucking presence here."

A growl. A smash. A slam.

A pounding pain slashing through Draco.

A gasp. A cry. A whimper.

"Draco?"

Sovs voice. Distant. Away. Not here. Not wanted.

A knock against the door.

Loud. Unwanted. Painful.

"Fuck off!"

His voice. His own voice. Comfort. Snarling. Angry. Feral.

A frail and skinny body falling against the somewhat inviting mattress, blonde hair slowly growing long due to the lack of a decent haircut splaying against the filthy covers.

A rushing head. Swimming thoughts. Unfocused. Blurry.

_Hogwarts. _He almost whispered to himself in a thought. _Lessons. _

_The grounds. Charms. Potions. Defence against the Dark Arts. _

He clung to the familiar thoughts as much as he could, reaching out with his hands as if to grasp them, despite the fact that his sudden sufferings now remained purely non physical.

_Granger._

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione.<strong>

A harsh bell rang across the grounds, and the sound almost seemed to vibrate Hermiones chest, the sudden noise bringing her back to her surroundings, leaving her slightly drowsy. She hadn't fallen asleep per say, but she wasn't aware of the physical world around here in a clear sense.

Pulling herself from her slumped state, she ran a hand through her hair, grimacing slightly as she realised how she had let it go. It felt dirty and unwashed beneath her fingers.

_Atleast Malfoy isn't here to see it.._

_Malfoy._

"Charms is this way, isn't it?"

Feeling a warm hand grasp her own, she felt the ground return beneath her with a sharp jerk, and she stumbled forwards lightly, grimacing as her knees smashed against the marble floor.

Cordelia had simply stepped backwards as she fell, giving her a curious look, not bothering to catch her, although Hermione was sure that she was within catching distance.

She nodded clumsily, pulling herself up, her knees aching.

"Down this corridor." She instructed, her voice getting a bit more strength. And yet, she could hear the distance in her voice herself. As if she wasn't talking to the blonde witch who strode beside her, but to her own self.

She shrugged, as if trying to shrug off her troublesome thoughts as well.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

"Draco, you have to get up."

Sov's voice ripped him from his slumber, and Draco found himself suddenly on his feet, wand drawn.

"I am up." He replied in a sarcastic voice, his limbs suddenly feeling fresh and movable.

The door creaked open, and the chubby balding man stepped inside, casting a shocked glance at the ruined room.

"What the bloody hell did you do in here, boy?" Sov almost growled at him, anger strong in his voice. "This room was my grandmothers! And you've gone.."

The man paused, then breathed out slowly, returning his face to his normal goofy smile. Reaching towards his large behind, he extracted a wand from one of his robe pockets, fumbling with it before he managed to correctly hold it.

"You feel like getting changed and such, Draco?"

Yawning loudly, Draco stepped out of the way as the debris that once lay motionless on the floor began to twist and turn, returning to their previous position.

"I see no reason to get changed. I am fine in this." He paused to gesture at his attire. He had long thrown away his uniform which was tattered and ruined, opting instead to simply adorn a pair of old black trousers, a dark green shirt hugging his torso.

"I don't expect you'll be allowed back ta' school with that, sonny." Sov commented dryly, clicking his tongue.

"School?"

"Lucius didn't tell you?" Draco shook his head, and Sov laughed almost.. _bitterly? _"He don't tell you naffin'. Er, well, you're going back to school, basically. Your father has returned home to clean up the Manor for your training to continue."

"Did he say anything about Mother?" Draco pressed, desperate for information.

Sov shook his head, smiling sadly. "Sorry."

"Doesn't matter." Draco sighed back, his posture relaxing slightly. "Have you got me-..Auugh!"

Letting out a bitter snarl escape his opened jaw, tears tore down his cheek almost instantly as his hand began to spasm in pain.

Each individual splinter began to yank their way out of his hand and knuckles, bursting through the thin layers of skin that had began to heal overnight.

"Fuck!" He whimpered, falling to his knees as the unhealthy amount of pain coursing through his system caused his eyes to roll to the back of his head, vision darkening.

"Sorry 'bout that." Sov mumbled to him. But he he didn't _sound fucking _sorry.

"Fucking idiot!" Draco gasped out as his eyesight returned to him, scarlet liquid drawling down his hands.

A bundle of fabric hit him against his chest, tumbling into his lamp with a soft _hmpf._

Blinking away the sudden moisture in his eyes, he managed to focus on the clean uniform that felt like a velvet sheet against his flawed skin.

Grabbing the emerald tie, he wrapped it around the worse of his two hands, stemming the blood flow as much as he could.

"Get out then." He snarled, although his voice felt weak and deadpan, his energy drained. "I'm not getting changed with your _fucking _piggy eyes on me."

Sov laughed quietly, before giving a sort of sarcastic bow, moving his hand to stroke the '7' shaped mark just above his eyebrow.

"Oh, I've seen much worse." He joked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

But Draco didn't laugh.

With another small chuckle, Sov ducked his head out of the room, closing the door behind him with a gentle _click._

Immediately pulling off the thin green shirt that was now stained with his own blood, he threw it to his feet, stepping forward to examine himself in front of the newly-fixed body-length mirror.

He almost wanted to make a noise of disgust at the figure that he saw before him, and he settled for a disapproving snort. His chest and stomach, once toned from quiditch, now simply remained flat, looking out of shape.. and _scrawny. _

Moving his hand to gently tease at a small, faint scar that wrapped around his ribcage, trailing up to his heart, his body gave a slight flinch, and he felt a rush of warmth between his thighs.

Moving his hand to cease the sensual touching, he paused, placing his palm flat against his stomach, smirking slightly at how smooth it felt, so pure. No scars here..

_Granger has a scar. _

He didn't question the thought, his slow strip in front of the mirror, and the exploration of his body had eased him into a sort of calm trance, and he had never felt so very _relaxed. _

He closed his eyes, letting his thoughts drift back to his little sleep episode.

He had long since accepted what had happened, no longer trying to fight it. He had seen her scratches on her arm before, seen the sudden darkness in her eyes.. but feeling it. Experiencing it, almost being there.. It was real. Serious. _Real._

Shaking his head away from _Hermion-.. Granger, _He let himself stand shirtless for a few more minutes, allowing the cold breeze to whisk around him and take away some of the emotional stress he felt like he was literally carrying on his shoulders.

Leaning down, he gently pulled his trousers to his feet, stepping out of them with ease, kicking them aside without much regard, his boxers following shortly.

He didn't bother to inspect his lower half in the mirror; he knew perfectly well what he would find.

He didn't really want to see all the pinprick scars the brambles his father had set on him had left; nor did he want to see the burns he had endured from when he had accidentally upturned a potion of boiling water, while he was supposed to be brewing _killing _mixes for his father.

Moving to the pile of clothes he had been given, he ran a critical eye over them, grabbing his wand from the floor and casting a quick cleaning spell over them, not entirely trusting their innocent appearances. It would be just like his father to put a controlling-hex on them.

Sighing, he realised he _really _didn't have enough energy to deal with his sudden paranoia, so he shrugged on the clothes without a second glance, keeping his back turned firmly to the mirror.

Looking down at his hands, his emerald tie still held a so many small wounds shut, and he knew removing the piece of taunt fabric would simply cause him too much pain for him to handle, he left it.

Grabbing his wand and shoving it in his robe pocket, he sent a glare over his shoulder at the mirror, taking a few seconds, and _only _a few seconds to adjust his hair.

"Sov!" He almost screeched, his voice turning hoarse from the strain.

* * *

><p><em>Hermione<em>

"Uh, Harry." Hermione whispered. "Ron. This is Cordelia."

The two boys turned almost eagerly, desperate to get away from the fact that Flitwick was rambling away about something they'd learnt last lesson.. but no-one had to heart to tell the small teacher that.

Ron and Harry sat on the table in front of Hermione and Cordelia, so they twisted their chair around, trying to edge back as in as subtle fashion as possible.

Luckily for them, Flitwick was way too involved in trying to get the Slytherin half of the room to pay attention, the white-haired wizard didn't really care that four people now huddled around a two person desk.

"Cordeelea?" Ron blinked, seemingly unable to pronounce the word.

"Cordelia." Hermione repeated impatiently.

Ron opened his mouth to attempt once more, but Col smiled, interrupting with a an almost arrogant voice, as if amused by Rons lack of pronunciation skills.. and not in a good way.

"You can just call me Col, if you'd like." She grinned, or.. it looked like she grinned. It looked almost like it was starting to drip with _malice. _

"Col." Ron looked back at her, unsmiling. He'd picked up on her tone as well.

"It's nice to meet you, Col." Harry smiled happily, and Ron shot him a confused look.

Harry moved his shoulders in a disguised shrug, as if to say '_Give her a chance.'_

Adjusting slightly, Hermione pulled a book from her bag, placing it against the desk, resting her cheek against the cold, hard leather.

"What's he even going on about?" Col snorted loudly, and Hermione felt a flicker of fear in her chest and how loud her comment was.

She _shh'd _her half-heartedly, trying to strain her ears to listen, despite already knowing everythingbeing said.

"Seriously! This is a load of shit." Col snapped loudly, her voice turning shrill.

Flitwick suddenly turned around, obviously catching the sound of Col's voice, despite him being on the other side of the class room.

"Miss Nicholls!" His voice was brewing with anger, and the whole class turned its attention to the blonde.. and to Hermiones disgrace, the fuzzy-haired brunette shying away next to her. "I don't want to hear such language in my class again!" He squeaked, waddling over to them. "That is.. beyond unacceptable! And _you, _Miss Granger! I would expect better!"

Hermione opened her mouth to object, but all she managed to do was splutter.

"Cordelia Nicholls, Detention!" He ordered strictly, his little face growing red. And she heard Col giggle from beside her, and she felt herself fighting one aswell.

"Wipe that smirk from your face, Hermione Granger!" He ordered, leaning up on tiptoes and tapping his stubby fingers against the desk naggingly. "You will report to Hagrid and help out with his grounds-keeper works for the rest of this lesson, and including your lunch!"

Feeling shame well up inside her, she shot an angry look at Col next to her, but found her anger dissolve as she realised the blonde was in hysterics.

She felt a smile creep on her lips.. _slightly. _

"Right now..?" She sighed, grabbing her bag and pulling it over her shoulder. Normally, she might of begged to say in this lesson, but the tedious ramblings of already known-logic was giving her a bit of a headache.

She wasn't too fussed about missing lunch, anyway. The hunger pains she had grown to love had faded away lightly, and she missed them.

_Missed the pangs- the pangs of pain._

"Yes!" Flitwick squeaked. "I hope you learn your lesson!"

Without another word, Hermione stood from her desk, shoving her wand into her robe pocket, and stowing the few pens she had out back into her pencil case.

Whispering a hurried goodbye to Harry and Ron, she suddenly felt the heat of each pair of eyes in the room staring at her, and she felt a blush creep up her neck, taking her cheek in a rough embrace.

Then she turned, and met the bright blue eyes of Cordelia.

And she smiled.

Hitching her bag higher on her shoulder, and sticking out her chin slightly, she fought away her self-conscious thoughts that loomed over, baring their fangs.

And she continued on to the grounds.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco<strong>

"And how exactly am I supposed to be getting to Hogwarts?" He frowned as Sov shoved his old school bag towards him, now clean from the mud and grime it had picked up from the swamps him and his father had trampled through.

"Dumbledore has set you up a portkey." He explained quietly. "Your father has had words with him. Simply told him you were away on _family business._ The old fool _obviously _fell for it."

Sov laughed, a wheezy sort of mewl.

Draco didn't join in.

"I thought you couldn't get through with portkeys.." Draco frowned, moving forward to check his hair in a small, grime-encrusted mirror. "Restrictions, repelling spells?"

"Dumbledore has lifted them for a short time." Sov continued on, donning a large black coat. "Which is why it's important we're _on _time."

Pulling out a chair, Draco took a seat in it, sipping on the cup of tea Sov has so _kindly _prepared for him.

He snorted. The drink was _fucking _cold. Idiotic fat..

His thoughts trailing off into a fair few profanities, he let his mind relax slightly, falling into an almost-rest.. teetering on the edge of the physical world and the realms of dreams..

"Draco, thirty seconds."

Sov extended a filthy paw, a small emerald watch resting gently in the scruffy palm.

Taking the metal into his palm, Draco stood up, grabbing his school bag in the hand that was tied up with his emerald tie.

"See you later, Draco!" Sov grinned as the air around him began to twist and turn..

And then Sov yanked hard against Dracos tie, causing it to come loose, the fabric tearing off a million scabs at once.

Pain shooting through him one more, Draco felt his body fall in an odd pattern.. like he was falling to his knees.. but there was no place for his knees to rest.

In his shock, he felt his school bag slip from his grasp, and amongst all the pain and anger welling through him, he felt a flicker of disappointment. He _liked _that bag.

And then everything seemed to black out.

* * *

><p>There was grass. There was <em>green <em>grass. _Soft _green grass.

There was rain. _Cold _rain. _Harsh _cold rain.

There was a physical presence close. A _female _presence.

There was _pain._

Cheeks moist with rain.. or tears.. he couldn't tell.

Lifting his hand to inspect it, he groaned. Scarlet blood covered each inch of skin, and what the rain washed away, his body simply pumped out more.

Curling up, he pressed his injured hand against his chest, almost in a fetal position.

_Fucking Sov.. _He whined inside his head, his teeth chattering. _Nice fucking trick, the prick. How funny, pull the tie away! Make me drop my bag.._

"Draco?" A gasped female voice.. laced with fear.. anger.. shock.. and relief.

"Granger?"

* * *

><p><strong>Quick proof-read.<strong>

**I can't write much, being shouted at. Sorry for the long wait, hope this is okay! Please review, love you all so much!**

**-Kawi**

**xx**


	22. Come and Play

**Hermione.**

Feeling the air suddenly grow almost heavy around her, Hermione felt her whole body freeze into a unmovable stance. Her left arm outstretched towards the blonde crumpled heap in front of her, the other moving to her pocket, gripping her wand in a strong iron-tight grip.

"Draco?"

The words fell from her mouth before she could stop them, and she didn't even bother to mentally scold herself for the informal address of his first name.. she could regret later.. analyse later.. realise everything she _should _of done. Now she had to act on her bare instincts. No over thinking.. not planning..

She replayed her words in her heads a _few _times, almost in an echoing fashion.. she could almost taste the emotion she had unintentionally put in the name, and she wanted to cringe at it.

"Granger?"

As soon as a reply met her ears, she fell to her knees, a shocked gasp leaving her mouth as she shuffled forwards, timing her breathing with the shallow rises of the wizards chest in front of her in a desperate attempt to feel.. _closer _to him?

She shook her head, trying to keep herself in the present moment.. she couldn't loose herself. Draco was in trouble..

_Draco was in trouble. _

Reaching forward, she placed a hesitant hand on the top of his arm, not putting any weight on it yet, expecting a violent reaction from him.

Nothing.

Trying to bite back words, she gently put more weight on her palm, twisting her fingers around to grasp his limb, placing a hand on his side furthest from her, she gently pulled him from his curled up position so he was laying on his back.

"Holy _fuck._" The curse slipped from her without a second thought, her whole body once more seizing up as she took in the broken figure in front of her.

Dried blood stained his hands, his right worst than the left, tiny pin-pick wounds covered every inch of his once smooth and pure skin, some going purple by the second.

One of his thumbs seemed to stick out at an odd angle, the bone hidden by the bruised flesh had obviously not set properly, due to carelessness or simple lack of knowledge of anatomy.. or both.

"Draco?" She tried to even her breath, keeping her panic at a minimum, not wanting to give away anything was wrong to the wizard in front of her. "Draco, can you hear me?"

His grey eyes snapped open suddenly, and yet they didn't move to meet her own, they simply stared forward.

Hermione felt a twinge in her stomach which felt like.. anticipation. She'd read so many fairytales where something along these lines would happen.. The author would always say how his eyes would swim with the ghosts of his past.. the shimmering images giving away what had put him in this predicament, the colour of his iris would appear faded, as if part of his soul had long been chased away..

And yet, nothing like that had happened. His eyes appeared just as his eyes had always. There was no glitter, nor shimmer. His grey iris remained as grey as it always had been.

_Because this isn't a fairytale. _

"Draco." She repeated, a bit of desperation entered her voice. She should really of been cleaning his wounds and setting his bones.. but she had to hear his voice.. His voice. _His _voice.

And yet, he did not speak. Not a word left his jaw.. he just continued to stare.. his breathing becoming more and more shallow, the rise of his chest barely noticeable now. His eyelids began to droop in the slightest, and without a word, they closed.

Opening her mouth, Hermione found herself closing it again almost immediately, unable to find any words suitable for this situation.

Gulping back fear, she moved to gently place a hand on above his eyes, brushing back his greasy, unkempt and matted fringe, smiling slightly at the sudden closeness she was able to hold with him.

But there wasn't time to whisper sweet nothings in his ear, to revel in her feelings she now finally had for him, to steal a few more subtle touches of him while she had the chance..

Pulling herself away, she moved to place her wand just above his heart, muttering a quick spell to give it a bit more strength while she was away.

"I'll be back." she promised quietly. "You can't hear me.. But I'll be back, I promise. I need to go get someone.. anyone.."

Shaking her head at this stupidity, she pushed herself into a standing position, sending him one more glance, before pelting full speed towards the castle.

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

Draco was floating.

Awake, and yet distant. So far from the physical world, yet close enough to still hear muttered voices.

"Draco?"

He knew that voice.. he felt a feeling of warmth seep through his body as the familiar noise met his ears, and he relaxed considerably. A sense of safety fell over him, and he suddenly felt the ground beneath him return, along side a dull, throbbing pain just about _everywhere._

Trying to find his voice, he felt obliged to reply to her.. desperate to let her know he was there.

"Granger?"

His voice left his mouth weak and broken, barely words, barely audible.

Feeling his whole body grow weak, the ground disappeared beneath him once more, a sudden sick sense of falling surrounding him, the sound of her feminine breathing and small mumbles leaving him, replaced by a dull ringing, annoying, and yet bearable.

A soft, smooth feeling suddenly met the top of his arm, and he longed to react, to jerk away, to escape the sudden intrusion, and yet his body did not allow him even a twitch, he could do nothing but lay there, unmoving and paralysed.

More weight suddenly came upon him, and he felt himself shaking with pain as it shot through him, a silent scream of agony dying silently in his throat as his mouth refused to open.

"Holy _fuck.."_

There was her voice again, her smooth, soft voice. Full of safety and easing bliss. The curse on her tongue was sharp, awkward and out of place..

"Draco? Can you hear me?"

Realising he had shut his eyes, he opened them abruptly, desperate to shed some light on the situation.

But, to no use came his sudden vision. It was as black and dark as when he had his eyes closed.

"Draco?"

_I can hear you. _He thought angrily. _I can fucking hear you.. not my fault I can't talk.. _

Letting his eyes close, he gave himself to the darkness, feeling his body to slip into a resting state, the pain sweeping away from his almost instantly. Numbness swept over him, and he didn't intend to fight it.

"I'll be back." The voice was dying, fading away.."You can't hear me.. But I'll be back, I promise. I need to go get someone.. anyone.."

_I can hear you! _He wanted to scream, but the darkness was sucking away all of his strength.

Sleep was merciful, sleep took him into its embrace.

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione<strong>

A dull ache in Hermiones side confirmed her suspicion, she had the most _painful stitch_ she had every experienced stabbing at her side.

But she couldn't feel the pain of it, not the full brunt. The only give away from the _aching. _

Her feet carried her as swiftly as they could manage across the grounds, and that wasn't very fast. She wasn't athletic at all, and it was really showing. She hadn't managed to get her stomach flat enough to grant her the swiftness from her psychical form.. so she was stuck at a slow jog.

Bursting through the front doors, she checked her watch that was now covered in mud and blood, a relieved sigh falling her from her mouth as she realised that the lesson had just ended, and if she was lucky, she could try to catch someone to help her..

Suddenly, she felt her feet stop, as a sinking feeling crept over her.

Who was she supposed to get to help..?

_Snape is ill.. _She realised with a jolt. _Madame Pomfrey also tells people to bring the patients to her.. and how did I explain how I found him? I shouldn't of been sent out of class anyway!_

_Harry.. Harry'll understand. _She told herself quietly.

Collecting herself, she shot up the staircase, pacing herself in order to avoid falling over and causing _herself _injuries.

"Hermione?"

Looking up, bright-blue eyes met her own shaken ones, and her stomach sank.

"Ron.." She acknowledged, and knowing she had no choice, she swept on. "You have to help me.. The forest.."

Ron frowned, moving to lift her head up slightly, smirking. "Calm down, Hermione. Caaaaalm. Deep breaths. What happened?"

"Dra-.. Malfoy." She corrected herself quickly, knowing she couldn't let on her personal level of first-names. "In the forest.. Injured.."

Ron laughed, a cold, harsh laugh. "So? Leave him, Hermione. He probably just got cocky in a lesson with some animal.. Serves him right."

"That's not the point, Ron!" She felt anger rise in her, and she did her best to suppress it. "He's hurt. He needs help!"

Brushing past her with another laugh, he threw a few words over his shoulder before turning around a corner, vanishing from sight.

"Leave it, Hermione. It's only Malfoy!"

Gritting her teeth with enough strength to break them, she shuddered at the dull grinding sound coming from her mouth. Her whole body began to shake with panic and anger towards the dismissal from Ron, and she felt suddenly at a loss.. What if Harry would react the same way..?

She needed someone impartial.. and yet smart.. Impartial.

"Cordelia!" She suddenly shouted out, giving a few first years a fright, spurring her feet into action once more, she almost flew up the stairs, stumbling a few times.

Realising Col would most probably be at the Charms class-room, getting information on a detention, she headed in that direction, taking a few illegal short-cuts behind paintings on the way, her panic-stricken state giving her a disregard for such silly rules.

Reaching out and grabbing the door-frame, she yanked herself forward, almost throwing herself against the blonde that suddenly appeared in the door-way.

"Col!" She gasped, stumbling backwards, shaking the blondes shoulders. "You have to help me."

The girl let out a small laugh, brushing her hair back. "Calm down. I just got finished being shouted at for what we did.. You'll give me a headache at this rate."

Ignoring her almost jokey words, Hermione pressed on, not bothering to catch her breath.

"Draco. The Slytherin.." She burst out, not bothering to cover up his first name this time. "He's injured. He's in the forest.. You have to help me.."

Col blinked, tilting her head to the side. "I know him. He teased you, didn't he? I thought he didn't like Muggle borns.."

"I don't care!" Hermione found herself spitting. "That doesn't matter. He's injured, just, please.. come on!"

Without another word, Hermione grabbed onto the blondes sleeve, yanking her harshly, not willing to waste any more time.

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione<strong>

Hermione had long since let go of her friend, and found herself overtaking her, she slowed a few times, knowing that Cordelia barely knew her way around school, but she couldn't help but grit her teeth in fury. This was _desperate. _

Arriving at the scene, Hermione fell to her knees, while Cordelia stood on the other side of him, casting an almost deadpan gaze over the crumpled heap of teenage boy.

"How did he get like this?" Col asked, her voice not portraying any emotion. Hermione glanced up briefly to see her nudging him with the side of her foot.

"I don't know." Hermione fretted. "I just came out here to find Hagrid and he was just.."

She gulped, not trusting her voice to go on.

Col frowned, the first prickle of emotion entering her expression. "Have you tended to any of his injuries?"

Moving slightly closer, Hermione shook her head. "I didn't know if I should try; I was confused. I might of hurt him.."

Col tutted. "Heal his most obvious injuries."

Nodding, Hermione pulled out her wand, setting to work.

Her first job was a grizzly one. The bone in his thumb had indeed been set awkwardly, and in order to fix it, she'd have to break it once more.

Praying to Merlin he was too far away to feel it, she applied pressure on the tip, placing her own hand over his fingernail, before pointing her wand at it.

A sick crunch told her she had done it right, and her whole body shuddered at the sound, but she tried to ignore the sudden repulsion in her stomach. Pit pats of cold moisture on her shoulder told her that it was starting to rain, and she cursed. She'd need to hurry up, the wind that would come with the sudden downpour would hurt Draco further.

Moving his thumb into the correct position, she continued with her work, taking a few minutes to heal it right, feeling her energy drain at her healing spells.

"Hermione?" Col's voice brought her back into the presence, haven given herself to rely on her instincts when healing. She nodded to show she had heard the voice, but she didn't slow on her work.

A coat was tossed at her, and Hermione pushed it to the side, ignoring it completely. The jacket had barely missed Dracos now-fixed yet still tender thumb, and she felt a flicker of anger inside her.

"I'm going inside. I'll let Madame Pomfrey know what's going on. He's not as injured as you think. Probably just got into a scrap with someone."

Hermione nodded wordlessly.

"See you inside."

"See you." She replied, turning slightly to block out the wind that was picking up, shielding Draco from it.

Lifting his most injured hand, she let her wand tip trail across the small pin-prick wounds that covered him. They had long-since stopped bleeding, the rain washing away the majority of the dried blood. Small mounds of dried scarlet remained over some of the deeper impurities, while purple bruises covered his limbs.

It didn't take long, admittedly, but it was _tiring. _Hermiones breathing had become ragged by the end of it, haven transferred the most of her strength into her spells, granting him with it. Her eyes had began to droop ever so slightly, and she wished she still had Col by her side to talk to her, her stomach clenching in fear at the thought of falling asleep.

Realising fighting her drooping lids was slowly becoming a loosing battle, she let them close briefly.. stealing a few seconds of rest..

"Granger?"

The angry voice snarled in her ear just as she felt herself sleeping off into an inviting sleep, and she snapped her eyes open with a gasp, feeling a blush suddenly creep up her neck.

"Draco!"

* * *

><p><strong>Draco.<strong>

Opening his eyes with a gasp, the last thing he expected to see was a pair of Mudblood eyes glancing back at his.

But that didn't mean he wasn't pleased to see them. Despite the filthy fucking bloodline that held them.

"Granger?" He growled out, just to be sure. His head spun and he wasn't sure of what had happened since the last time he had been in the mortal world. His last memory was leaving Sovs house.. and that tie..

With a gasp, he moved his eyes to glare at his hands, realising with a jolt they looked good as new, not a cut.. or even a scar in sight.

"Draco!"

_A scar. _

His memories seemed to return to him at the words, and he felt himself fall forward, pushing himself up so he was crouching in a feral position, like a lion ready to pounce on a injured gazelle.

"A scar." He repeated out loud, suddenly realising who was in front of him. "A scar."

_He could finally know.._

Throwing himself forward, he connected his now-fixed-with-full-strength-hands against her shoulders, shoving her harshly so she fell on her back, falling with her. Positioning himself so one his hands was placed firmly at the base of her throat, restraining her from moving, and his legs almost straddling hers, he moved his other hand to grasp the bottom of her shirt, yanking it from its tucked position so her midriff was exposed.

"Draco, what the _hell _are you doing?" She screeched, doing her best to shove him away. Kicking her feet up, she managed to catch him in his ankle, sending a spasm of pain shooting up towards his chest, but he didn't flinch, _couldn't _flinch. Narrowing his eyes in concentration, he moved his hand to run his palm across her skin, feeling a sense of relief wash over him as he realised there was no impurity there.. it was smooth, perfect.. _unscathed. _

"Draco!"

Realising he had zoned out, he moved to remove himself from above her, but not before she could get her revenge for his sudden mounting.

He saw it happen before he felt it, and a small flicker of pride entered him as he realised what she was about to do. He had to give it to her that she had some _balls _to make a move like that..

Oh, sweet irony.

In one quick movement, she had directed the tip of her foot into his groin, smashing into it with surprising strength. Writhing in his now limp arms, she threw herself forward, moving her palms to place on _his _shoulders, throwing him back in a simple moment, now resuming his previous position above him.

But, at this moment in time, Draco could barely give a _fuck _even if it started to rain pumpkin juice.

The fact she was basically straddling him restricted his movements, so his instinct to curl up into a ball and protect himself from a further harm was being barred, leaving him only one choice, to lay uselessly on his back while tears streamed down his face.

"Fucking.. bitch!" He panted out, pain stabbing at him in ice cold licks of what felt like _flames. _Eyes blurring, he pulled his head up briefly, trying to do something to keep his mind of the pain that was shooting through him.

And no one could of predicted what the Prince of Slytherin decided to do to keep his mind away from his agony.

In one single moment, everything seemed to close in on the Lion and the Snake. Everything around them seemed to fall away, leaving them laying on the only firm piece of ground for what felt like miles. The sounds around them now irrelevant, there was three things.

Himself. His panting breath, narrowed eyes, tear-soaked cheeks.

Her. Her panicked, guilty breaths, wide eyes, blushed cheeks.

And her breath. The fresh, new scent that transfixed his eyes on her. The familiarity of it, the safety. The sheer feeling of warmth that seemed to capture him and take him in, begging him to stay for a while.

No words were needed.

Leaning his head forward in the slightest, he felt their lips touch before he could help it. And before he had time to even consider what he was doing, he had moved his hands up to tangle in her hair. Her lips were clumsy, awkward. She clearly didn't know what she was doing.

But Draco couldn't give a _fuck. _All he knew was that he was hurting, and she was there. And her lips were warm.. so warm. Inviting.. perfect.

A moan of disappointment echoed in her throat, and he felt her try to push away, but he wasn't done yet.

This kiss was bliss. In every way shape or form.

Pansy could kiss. Her lips shaped and moulded, perfectly practised on the majority of males in the school. She could probably tie a knot in a cherry if asked to.

The whores he would house in his bed for a few days in the summer could kiss, adjusting their patterns to match his movements, trying to please him..

But Granger was different. So different. She _couldn't _kiss. But there was something.. inviting about that prospect. The whole fucking smutty idea of detailed anatomy lessons..

An almost perverse smile reached his lips at the thought, but he suppressed it. Lost in awkward sucks of lips and small licks of his tongue, daring her to invite him in.

As always, everything ended before Draco wanted it to.

"Draco!" A harsh voice met his ears as he pulled away, and he glared up at her with narrowed eyes. The muggle-borns hair was knotted and slightly matted with the dirt and blood he had managed to scrape onto her, her cheeks bright red, and her eyes wide with anger.

"Hermione." He greeted her with the same tone, scolding himself lightly for the use of her first name.

"What the hell was that?" She gasped, moving to try and adjust her hair, flatting it with half-hearted pat of her palms.

"I believe that's what most people call a _kiss, _dear Granger. I can easily feel how you're not quite accustomed to it.."

A flicker of guilt twinged inside of him as the tease slipped from his lips, but he disregarded it.

"I'm going." She sighed at him, her voice going softer. "Don't worry, I won't _dent _your _reputation _by telling anyone.."

Before he could say another word, she had twisted around, leaving him alone, laying on his back..

With the biggest grin on his face he had felt in a while.

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione.<strong>

"Where's Draco?"

Hermione almost jumped out of her skin as Cols voice entered the room, and she twisted her body around so she was facing her, feeling her blush resume with full force.

_She had kissed Draco Malfoy!_

_No.. _She corrected herself quietly. _Draco Malfoy had kissed her. There's a difference. _

"He's.. err. He went to his common room." She lied, begging that she could keep her voice even enough to sound believable.

"Did you fix him up then?" Col smiled at her, seemingly oblivious to her lie, but picking up on her discomfort. Moving forward, the blonde placed a reassuring hand on the brunettes shoulder, shaking her slightly.

Hermione nodded, gulping away her fear. "I'm just not good with blood, that's all." She explained lamely. "When I was healing him, another serious wound opened.. and blood was everywhere."

Col pretended to cringe, laughing gently. "You'd be terrible as a healer."

Hermione forced a chuckle to leave her, backing up slightly.

"You want to go to the great hall for Lunch?" Col smiled at her, taking a few steps towards the direction she intended to lead Hermione in.

"I.. err." Hermione wanted to say _no. _More than anything. She wanted to run away, run back into his arms, finish what she had ended too soon. She felt a flicker of shame enter her as her actions seemed to dawn on.

All she wanted was to feel _real _love, right? To be accepted. To be cared about- to have no one care about her faults she did her best to cover up.

Releasing a shaking breath, she ignored the urge to claw at her arms. An itching suddenly filling her skin, a _need. _

There had to be someone wrong with her, to want to reject someone like that. Something must of malfunctioned in her head to want to push away everything she _wanted. _Humans gave into their desires and needs, and there she was.. denying everything that could possibly make her better..

Shaking her head in a desperate attempt to clear these self-destructive thoughts, she followed Col as they made their way to the Hall.

_You know what will make you better. _A voice pointed out gently, and almost on cue, she felt a small draft hit her bare skin, leaving her shivering.

Draco didn't move for a while.

Lost in his thoughts, he found his smile decreasing and vanishing over time. The more the situation seemed to soak in, the more he found regret edging into his stomach.

What the _fuck _had he just done?

High on some _fucking _drug Granger had in her breath, intoxicated and taken prisoner by it, his body had reacted just like any self-respecting male had. His body wasn't aware of how dirty her blood status was, his hormones and testosterone didn't take that into account. He had been lost and irrational and giving into what he wanted seemed like a perfect pass time.

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, he frowned.

Why the _hell _was every bone in his body aching to see her? To be with her again.. _To finish what he had started? _

No. Not any of that.. nothing..

He had to see her, however. Tell her it was a one off, clarify it. Make sure she didn't expect any special treatment.. He had to. It was his duty. He couldn't just pretend this never happened..

_Because it happened. _He felt a smile touch his lips. _And it was amazi-.._

Throwing himself to his feet in an elegant move, he formed his face so it was narrowed, cold, a mask. Indifferent.

Releasing a shaky sigh, he set forward towards his destination.

Hermione didn't last long at the table full of happy, laughing people.

She had been left to simply play with her sleeves and look away every time someone tried to catch her eye. Shrugging her shoulder in response to any conversation started at her, everyone soon began to give up figuring out what was wrong. Everyone probably presumed she was just on her period or something..

_If only it was that simple._

She had at first, tried scratching her arms. Running her nails up and down her skin, slightly raised from past musings, but it didn't deliver her any relief. The itching, the urge remained.

Pulling a small mug of hot water towards her, she placed it in front of herself, pressing her arms against the sides, begging to herself that it would do _something._

Nothing.

She couldn't fight it any more. The demon was in her head, whispering _come and play._

She wanted to play his games. She couldn't deny it, she _wouldn't _deny it. _She didn't want to. _

Standing suddenly, she ignored the looks and calls she received, no longer in the mortal world that surrounded herself. She was swimming inside her head, sinking into a pool of deep, dark water that lapped around her, cold and inviting. The demon that haunted her embraced her gently, his ruffled skin pressing against her, tickling her slightly. Its tail wrapped around her legs, its jaw against her ear, always whispering.

_Come and play._

It didn't take her long to reach the common room, or she thought it didn't take her long. She could barely keep track of time with a mindset like hers. All she knew was that she was soon heading up the stairs to the familiar dormitory she called _home._

Slamming the door behind it, she felt her body relax slightly as she locked the door. The charms that blocked any boys (or other girls not from their house) coming up the stairs were currently failing, meaning the lock was _essential._

Falling with her back against her headboard, she moved to grab her sleeve, jamming it upwards to crumple at her elbow.

"Come and play." She smiled sickly to herself, bringing her wand out.

_You're not human. _The voice teased her, its tone honey-sweet. _You deny yourself what you need, what you want, so you give in to your darkest desires, the forbidden release you think you can deny._

Pressing her wand against her skin with the sickest of grins spread across her face, she felt her eyes droop shut.

_You welcome your demons like old friends, they take you in and embrace you. You never fight, you don't want to. You love them, and they love you._

"Come and play.." Her voice now a breath, she felt a liquid dribble down her arm.

_You can't turn back now._

"HERMIONE! OPEN THIS DOOR!"

Draco's voice burst through her dream-like state, and she felt a sudden cold come over her.

"Hermione, open this _fucking door!"_

.. _Shit._

* * *

><p><strong>YOU GUYS HAVE STOPPED REVEWING.<strong>

**I AM NOT PLEASED WITH THIS.**

**I am getting like no reviews on my chapter compared to what I used to. Has my writing gotten terrible or something?**

**Quick proof-read.**

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**xx**


	23. He won't care REUPLOAD

**Hello. It's been a while.**

**I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. A lot of personal things have held me back. **

**You are the best people in the world who read this story. Every single review is a god-send to me. They make me laugh, blush, squeal, they used to be everything I looked forward to.**

**I know, I know, get on with the story. I will.**

**Again, I'm so sorry this took so long. I love you all, and look forward to hearing from you.**

* * *

><p>Her wand falling noiselessly to the floor, Hermione felt a sudden calm come over her. Like a cold, comforting blanket had suddenly been strewn over the body she no longer felt connected to. She could barely feel herself as her limbs kicked into action, coming from her crouched position into a proud, chin-up chest-out stance. She started defiantly at the door, her mouth twisted into an unattractive growl, as if she was defending something; she had morphed into a protector in seconds.<p>

In truth, she was protecting herself. She had been disturbed at her very weakest, her most vulnerable. She had let down all the barriers she had recently built up, assured that no one would ever see her in such a state. She had become her true self, a pleasure she normally denied herself. All the pain, all the suffering, all the hurt, she had let it surface from the deep pool of water it normally floated in. While she normally tried to drown all the unsaid words and thoughts that plagued her, her inner demons always seemed to drag them from the relentless waters, giving them life and making them stronger. She had been holding out her hand to give them a boost out, a quicker way that flailing to the surface, and someone had caught her.

And not just anyone. Not someone she could lie to. Not someone she could tell to go away.

Someone she had been longing to see just moments before. Someone who had plagued her thoughts, and caused her to become restless at night. The person who she had told herself held no interest for her, the person who had made her life hell.

Him.

The door shook violently, sending a shudder of fear running down her spine. She hadn't thought of what she was going to do. She couldn't compose her thoughts together; she couldn't get herself to move. She was a frozen statue, basking in the few moments of peace that still remained before her whole world would come crashing down.

Someone was about to know.

"I can open it for you." Came another voice and Hermiones brain clicked into action, throwing forward a name. Cordelia. Cordelia. Cordelia.

"Hurry up and do it then!" Draco must have snapped back at her, a loud thumping noise following his words. "And get out of here when you're done. I want to speak to it alone!"

Straining her ears, she heard a snort as Cordelia obviously took offence to his dismissal. None the less, the sound of a wand scraping against the thick wooden door and a small series of clicks followed, and Hermione could feel her heart dropping inch by inch as every second crawled past.

"There." Cordelia sighed. "I'm going, just go in."

But Hermione had suddenly realised what was happening. Her feeling in her limbs suddenly returned, and a small gasp of shock left her. Her eyes darted around the room, for one moment wondering if it was possible to hide. Of course, it was childish of her to presume. She had gotten herself into this mess, and now it was time to dig her way out.

A grunt. A hiss. A relieved snarl.

The door slammed open with an impressive amount of force. Wheezing on its hinges, Hermione once more felt calm. It was the moment she had been waiting for.

After everything, she knew it would all boil down to this. After all the starving, all the cutting, all the hiding away..

But she never knew it would be Draco Malfoy who would see her like this.

Maybe part of her had wanted this. Longed for him to find her, to pick her up in his arms and promise they'd fight the demons that stalked her mind together. That'd he'd stroke the marks that marred her body and promise she'd never go through anything it again. He'd tell her how beautiful she really was. How she shouldn't have to worry about anything. That someday, maybe, she'll find someone who really adores her. That he'd sob gently and say '_Look at you, you beautiful girl. Look how brave you've been'_ He'd tell her that she'd gone through so much, and that he would never leave her side again.

But of course, he didn't. Because that's not how things work. That's how things work in the mind of an attention-seeking fourteen year old.

No, things don't work like that.

Dragging herself to the present, Hermione lifted her chin to glare forward at Draco, as if defying whatever he was about to say. Opening her jaw to lick her lips, she braced her entire body for whatever would happen next. Meeting his stormy grey eyes, she held back the fact she wanted to cringe away, and her heart missed a beat as his mouth opened.

* * *

><p><em>Draco.<em>

_What a fucking freak!_

Draco felt shame bite at him as the thought sprang to mind, and he guessed he didn't actually mean it. Years of bullying Granger had caused his mind to spit an insult at every possible moment she came into sight.

The first thing he had noticed when he had entered the room was her arm. The crumpled black robe that clung around her frame was crumpled at the sleeve, the dark fabric ungracefully rippling in dull waves just above her elbow. Her dull skin colour stretched downwards until it came across somewhat of an impurity.

If one could call it that.

A grisly wound circled Hermione Grangers arm.

Starting with a small, thin and straight line, it started downwards, winding towards her wrist in a disgusting pattern. The wound grew more disjointed and a few patches of skin lay unmarked as whatever had been driven across the surface had jumped, sparing some patches of the flaw. The wound grew thicker and thicker until it peaked, scarlet liquid bubbling from it, slowly dripping and curling around her arm, not yet staining the floor. After the rather deep dip in the skin, the depth of it dramatically reduced, turning into a shallow scratch, and even that was over-exaggerating.

"What the fuck have you done?"

The words slipped from his mouth as he glared upwards towards her, meeting her brown eyes with a mix of surprise, fear and anger. He'd never seen anything like it, and despite the fact he knew at the back of his head what had happened, he felt himself wanting to deny it more than anything. Every bone in his body seemed to freeze, but at the same time he longed to turn tail and run, to cower away and pretend that he could restore his old, non-broken perception of the girl who stood in front of him.

Realising he had been holding his breath; he released it with an angry, shaky sigh. Clenching his fists, he looked away; daring another glance at the cut on her arm, but found himself looking away, as if the whole thing was letting out waves of angry repellent.

"Answer me!" He snapped out, unable to hold back his temper. "What the fuck is… _That? _On your arm! Are you mad?"

She didn't answer; the only response he got to his outburst was her biting down on her lower lip. Her body had begun to shake in the slightest, but he refused to cross the space between them and comfort her, despite the fact she looked oh so vulnerable at the very moment.

Feeling his temper rise up within him, he twisted around, aiming a harsh kick at the nearest thing, a small wooden chair. The seating arrangement itself was rather nice. Its legs were carved in some sort of intricate pattern, but anger had blurred Dracos vision briefly, and he couldn't strain his vision enough to work it out. Letting out an angry snarl, his feet collided with it, and the leg which he had aimed at gave out, crumping beneath the seat with a squeak, the rest of the chair coming with it.

"Don't do that."

Snapping his head up, Draco fixed his glare on Granger. Letting out a few laboured breathes; he worked on calming himself before he allowed himself to speak once more.

"What did...? You just say?"

"I told you not to do that."

"Do what?"

"Kick the chair, Malfoy. That wasn't yours to break."

Letting out a bark of humourless laughter, he took a step forward, confidence now filling his chest.

"What if I said the same to you?" He felt the words slip from his mouth without consent, and he could barely understand what he was saying, but he went with it.

"I didn't break a chair, Malf-.."

"No, but you've broken yourself. What if you aren't yours to break?"

"What are you implying?"

He didn't know what he was implying. He didn't know what to say anymore. He didn't know what was going on.

He had no idea in hell how everything had built up to this moment. After everything going on at home, he had been so desperate to find an escape, that he found it Hermione Granger. Who'd of thought? Who'd of bloody well thought?

Here he was, Draco Malfoy, within touching distance between the female he had once hated. Standing in her bedroom, her personal place of rest. Smelling her addictive breath just inches away from him, doing his best not to flick out his tongue, desperate for a closer taste. Feeling a sense of repulsion every time he even glanced down at the tear in her skin, like something was gripping onto his throat and forcing the air from it.

Closing the distance between them in quick strides, he grabbed her arm with a fair amount of force and yanked it towards him, ignoring her squeal in protest. Bringing out his wand, he placed the tip at the start of the wound, moving his head slightly to meet her eyes. Careful not to let his thumb slip into the deepest part of the wound, he didn't speak, perfectly happy to let her say the first word.

But she didn't. She didn't even look up. If anything, she looked away. Her arm felt limp in his grasp, and he released some force from it, now sure that she wouldn't try to wiggle herself away from him.

Giving her a few more moments, he pressed on when she didn't speak. Moving his wand to gently trail across the wound, he kept his voice low, whispering the words that would heal her, to the best of his abilities. As he slowly got lost in his complicated string of spells, a few green orbs began to twine around his wand, before peeling away and falling upon the still-bleeding cut. Granger let out a small gasp as they did, and Draco raised an eyebrow, almost passing a comment about how she shouldn't complain, but he held it back, concentrating on getting it right. As the strips fell against her, they began to grow longer, and thinner, gaining an almost feathery appearance, before swimming their way around the exposed flesh, as sleek and swift as a pair of snakes, leaving healed skin in their path.

"Is it done?"

He didn't bother to answer, despite the fact the feathered serpent-like conjurations were now doing all the work, and he slowly let go of her arm, letting it rest on her side. Despite the fact he'd poured a fair amount of energy into it, he had been unable to remove the long, winding white scar that had been left. Even if he had allowed himself to faint from exhaustion, he knew scars were a funny business. They only went away if healed in certain circumstances. And he wasn't sure if they could go away with another person's wand, if the original person had…

He couldn't say it. The words stuck in his mind. Swallowing, he resumed his thought track, avoiding the thought of it.

Had done that. Taking a step back, he looked at her once more, praying that she would look up. Would she be angry, or sad? How would she react to the fact that he had just barged in and acted so rudely?

Not that he gave a flying fuck in the slightest, but still.

After some time, she twisted herself to meet his eyes, and it took him a while to realise what he was seeing.

Because, he was in fact seeing, nothing.

Her eyes looked no different from before. Perhaps he had expected to see certain numbness within them.

But he wasn't sure what numbness looked like.

Maybe he expected to see depression. To see how flat her once brown eyes would appear. To see the ghosts of untold pain to be swimming, so apparent, and visible.

And yet nothing.

Because they were just eyes.

"Hermione, I-.."

* * *

><p><em>Hermione<em>

She couldn't remain silent any longer.

She had held her tongue as he had moved across the room and held her arm, healing it as best he could. She had held her tongue when he had been staring at her so closely. She could feel the fact he was dying to see her, but she didn't grant him such a wish.

She couldn't.

Shame and guilt welled in her, to the point of which all she could do was stand there.

Because in truth, she never wanted anyone to find out.

She never had. As much as she'd convinced herself she'd love to have a fairy tale ending, the prince saves the girl and they go on to live happily ever after, in truth, she had never really wanted it.

She'd liked the idea of someone finding out. She had expected calming words, and loving comforts.  
>But, instead, she was being given snapped, harsh remarks, and a cold and stony silence.<p>

If only she'd stayed in the great hall. Looking back now, it hadn't been that hard. She could have easily sat back and laughed, forgotten the urge and told herself she was simply giving it too easily.

Because she had. She'd been weak. If she really wanted to, she could have stopped it from happening.

It was her fault.

So when she finally managed to look up at Draco, she'd found it hard to find words. She wondered if she should apologize to him. Or if she should tell him to leave. Her throat felt dry and she could barely imagine any words arising and meeting the air, but she knew she had to say something.

"Hermione, I-.."

But she cut him off. Hermione didn't have time for his silly words, or whatever he was going to say. She had other things to say. Throwing together as much confidence as she could, she let the words ring out.

"You can go, you know." She wanted more than anything to say the very opposite, but she kept her voice as strong as possible. "You don't have to stay here. We'll pretend this never happened. We'll go back to ignoring each other in the corridors; you can go back to insulting me. This'll be something we'll only let cross our minds for a few seconds every year, or so. I won't tell anyone, and neither will you."

Searching his stormy grey eyes for any sign of emotion, she found nothing but barriers. His eyes were unreadable, blank, almost dazed. As if he was hiding his emotions under a mask.

"Just go." She spoke softly, feeling tears press at the back of her eyes. Holding them back, she twisted around, directing her vision towards a window, blinking in quick succession in order to rid away the unwanted moisture.

"No." He finally replied, and her heart had a small flutter. "No, we won't forget this."

Without any further warning, a strong arm grabbed her waist, twisting her around and causing her to stumble forward. Blushing in embarrassment, she went to twist out of his sudden grip, but not before he could lean his head down and steal her lips once more.

* * *

><p><em>Draco<em>

Angrily shoving her backwards, he didn't really care about the fact Granger could barely keep up with his fast moving lips. Feeling her back collide with the wall, he pressed his chest against hers, desperately trying to get another elusive taste of her. She was, at first, trying to twist from his grip, but she had soon relaxed, enough to move and wrap her arm around the back of his head. Draco felt her fingers wind in his greasy hair, and a flicker of guilt and unease prickled at him. He was dirty, unwashed hair and probably stank from not having a shower in a couple of days.

But Granger didn't seem to care. She seemed to melt at every touch he gave her. Tightening the grip around her waist, he broke the kiss for a moment, moving to rest his forehead against hers, breathing heavily.

"What.. are.. you.. doing?" She gasped out, as if it had just hit her. She flicked her head slightly, trying to move her hair away from her eyes, and she went to open her mouth once more before he cut her off.

"Something I won't regret." He told her in a strong growl. "Something I don't want to forget."

Meeting her lips once more, he slowed down this time, giving more thought into his movement, rather than just feral ravishing's. Gently nipping at her lips, he felt a cruel smirk touch his expression as he realised she had no idea what she was doing.

"Like this." He broke the contact slightly, a patronising grin spreading across his face. Slowing down even more, he caught her bottom lip between his, sucking it gently, before biting down on it.

"What was that fo-..?"

Once again, he cut her off, and a laugh rumbled in his chest as she was so easily silenced.

"I could get used to this." He mumbled to her. "You're easy to shut up."

She ignored his words, obviously become too lost in the moment for rational thought. Following her example, he let himself go slightly, letting down a few barriers for her, even moving one of his hand to gently toy at the buttons of her shirt.

"Draco.." She objected weakly. "Wait.."

He ignored her, unhooking the buttons and exposing some of her stomach. Trailing his fingers over it, enjoying the idea that he was giving her goose bumps.

He didn't expect what was to happen next.

With a violent shove, he fell backwards, staring in disbelief as Hermione clutched as her shirt, hastily doing back up her buttons.

"What the fuck did you do that for!" He snapped out, all his barriers suddenly being thrown up once more. Moving a hand to brush his hair back, his face twisted in pain. His chest was still sore and her rather strong push had awoken a few injuries. Clutching his side, he turned to glare at her.

* * *

><p><em>Hermione<em>

He had seen her stomach.

Her fat, fat stomach.

He had seen her shame, how disgusting she was. How much of a fat, unlovable mess she really was…

"I told you not to!" She snapped angrily at him. "It's not my fault you didn't listen!"

Meeting his angry, stormy glare, she shrank back slightly, feeling shame well inside her. Soon as she had felt his hands touch her stomach, a stab of fear had hit her, all her self-conscious thoughts ramming into her, like the head of a bull.

"Well, I'm so sorry!" He snapped at her. "Maybe I should just go, like you said!"

Feeling anger rise in her own voice, her words basically dripped with venom.

"Yeah, maybe you should!"

And without another word, she heard the door slam shut, and when she felt a cold breeze to signal that she was alone, she let out a small, lonely sob.

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><p><strong>Proof read time.<strong>

**I can't write much, since I gotta go to bed. School night and stuff.**

**Sorry it's short. I'll make the next chapter extra long, I just wanted to show you guys I was back!**

**Review! I've missed all of you.**

**Love you guys.**

**Kawi**

**x**


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